Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 29

Thread: Time between marriages

  1. Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Malfoy's Avatar
    Malfoy is offline
    Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Posts
    7,644
    Blog Entries
    1
    #1

    Time between marriages

    Advertisements
    I'm curious. If you or your spouse have been divorced before, how long did you wait after separating, divorce was final, before you started a new relationship and/or got engaged/married?
    Last edited by Malfoy; 09-24-2011 at 04:23 PM. Reason: darn spelling... typing really!
  2. The grass is greener where it gets watered.
    Sarah.'s Avatar
    Sarah. is offline
    The grass is greener where it gets watered.
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    15,193
    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Malfoy View Post
    I'm curious. If you or your spouse have been divorced before, how long did you wait after separating, divorce was final, before you started a new relationship and/or got engaged/married?
    exDH and I split up in like February/March-ish? of 2009 - DB and I started dating in July/August of 2009.

    I don't think that I was ready to start a new relationship, but at first he was just supposed to be a fling, - that being said, we've had some serious issues because I was really bitter about love and life and things for a while, but now we are doing better than I could ever imagine.

    He isn't DF or DH yet because I'm not ready to say the vows again, he has asked me to marry him, and I have said yes, but in time. He knows that I'm not going to just marry him because it's convenient or because it would make some things easier. We live together, we are committed to each other, but I'm not ready for the LEGAL commitment yet.

    I think in general, it really depends on each person and each relationship. The circumstances of the divorce, the quality of the new relationship, etc
    There are a lot of factors that play a big part in getting into a successful relationship after coming out of a marriage.
    “In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!” ― Dr. Seuss
  3. Senior Member
    Guynavywife's Avatar
    Guynavywife is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    19,321
    Blog Entries
    2
    #3
    I'm now curious about your last two threads...this on and the one about exes texting...?is there a problem with him still attached to his ex at the phone?

    If so, that may be a concern for you to move to quickly with him. I know this isn't answering your question, but I think the answer from the other should help you to answer this for you own situation.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
  4. Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Malfoy's Avatar
    Malfoy is offline
    Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Posts
    7,644
    Blog Entries
    1
    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    I'm now curious about your last two threads...this on and the one about exes texting...?is there a problem with him still attached to his ex at the phone?

    If so, that may be a concern for you to move to quickly with him. I know this isn't answering your question, but I think the answer from the other should help you to answer this for you own situation.
    haha I figured someone might try to make that kind of connection. He and I are going REALLY slow, but he didn't leave that much time from when he was divorced til we got together and he has been married twice-there was hardly ANY time in between those two marriages. I dunno, I'm more just curious with this thread, the other one is more of an issue--or rather, seeing if it should be an issue.... make sense? (I've heard I don't make a lot of sense sometimes)
  5. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
    Tojai's Avatar
    Tojai is offline
    Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    St. Pete FL
    Posts
    30,026


    #5
    I moved out in June 2008, divorced was finalized in October 2008, I started dating DH in March 2009, and we were married in September 2009.

    Yeah people made some comments about moving fast. But it was right for us and I was TOTALLY upfront with him about my past.
  6. Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Malfoy's Avatar
    Malfoy is offline
    Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Posts
    7,644
    Blog Entries
    1
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I moved out in June 2008, divorced was finalized in October 2008, I started dating DH in March 2009, and we were married in September 2009.

    Yeah people made some comments about moving fast. But it was right for us and I was TOTALLY upfront with him about my past.
    Hmmm almost the same as DB... haha ok ok. good good.
  7. The grass is greener where it gets watered.
    Sarah.'s Avatar
    Sarah. is offline
    The grass is greener where it gets watered.
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    15,193
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I moved out in June 2008, divorced was finalized in October 2008, I started dating DH in March 2009, and we were married in September 2009.

    Yeah people made some comments about moving fast. But it was right for us and I was TOTALLY upfront with him about my past.
    I absolutely think that honesty is THE MOST important thing about moving on after a marriage. The person that dates you after your marriage deserves the truth about what happened. (Well, anyone that dates you deserves honesty, but you know what I mean)

    This worked very well for DB and I also, I was completely honest with him about everything, about my mistakes, as well as exDHs mistakes, about all of the facts of the divorce. This way, he was able to fully understand me and the position that I was in emotionally and mentally.

    Full disclosure and complete honesty, for the win.
    “In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!” ― Dr. Seuss
  8. Senior Member
    Guynavywife's Avatar
    Guynavywife is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    19,321
    Blog Entries
    2
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Malfoy View Post
    haha I figured someone might try to make that kind of connection. He and I are going REALLY slow, but he didn't leave that much time from when he was divorced til we got together and he has been married twice-there was hardly ANY time in between those two marriages. I dunno, I'm more just curious with this thread, the other one is more of an issue--or rather, seeing if it should be an issue.... make sense? (I've heard I don't make a lot of sense sometimes)
    If I were to generalize, I would say run!

    He may be (and i base this only on the limited information you gave) that he is a serial husband and dater.
    He jumps from one woman to the next, marries them quickly, without ever taking the time to get to know himself or the woman.

    You say you are taking this slow, be he is not. "Slow" would be him being single for a while dating a few other women, and being SINGLE.

    Are you the first woman he dated after her? Were you two going out while he was still married?

    His first two marriages failed for a reason, and he was common to both of them. He needs time to figure out why.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
  9. Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Malfoy's Avatar
    Malfoy is offline
    Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Posts
    7,644
    Blog Entries
    1
    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    If I were to generalize, I would say run!

    He may be (and i base this only on the limited information you gave) that he is a serial husband and dater.
    He jumps from one woman to the next, marries them quickly, without ever taking the time to get to know himself or the woman.

    You say you are taking this slow, be he is not. "Slow" would be him being single for a while dating a few other women, and being SINGLE.

    Are you the first woman he dated after her? Were you two going out while he was still married?

    His first two marriages failed for a reason, and he was common to both of them. He needs time to figure out why.
    Well, he has realized he went too fast with the other two. That is why NOW he is going slow. He didn't before. (although he dated his first ex for several years, so...) We did not start seeing each other or even going on dates until like 3 months after his divorce was final. He was separated for about 9 months during the divorce process and never took one girl out on a date-he was technically still married and didn't want to cheat.

    Because THEY cheated. That's really why the divorces happened. Both exes cheated while he was deployed. They lied to him. just how it goes sometimes.
  10. Senior Member
    Cat5's Avatar
    Cat5 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    404
    #10
    My ex-husband and I were separated for two years before we filed for divorce. When we separated, we were still trying to work it out, and we were going to a marriage counselor. We did not date others while we were separated.

    I did not date anyone for a year after the divorce was final. I don't believe he did either. IIRC, it was about a year-and-a-half after the divorce was final before he started dating again.
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •