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Thread: This might sound hypocritical...Need some advice

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    #1

    This might sound hypocritical...Need some advice

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    DB is Air National Guard. He just found out that his BAH is a pretty good chunk of change, but he only gets if he is an active duty status. Since he has about 4 months left of tech school, if we went to the JOP and got legally married the extra money would be an awesome down payment on a nice house near base. It seems like a no-brainer...but I'm torn. I want nice ceremony and reception. Yes, we are planning one for later next year but I'm afraid about the significant of it, since we would be already married.

    I have openly been "aganist" towards elopement, even though it's wayyy easier, but now I'm torn on what to do. DB is all for the legal marriage in 2 weeks at his tech school graduation.

    Does anyone have any advice? I want love to marry DB now, he's been holding my engagement hostage at Lackland, it's just I want a nice ceremony/reception on a fairly low budget!
    "At story time I want to hear our tale"-DF


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    #2
    I think that if you wait and get married when you were originally planning to, you won't regret it.
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    #3
    sign the wedding paperwork now. have the "marriage ceremony" later.

    if you are having a religious wedding, then let everyone know that THAT is the important date.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
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    #4
    he only gets BAH if he is activated..how do you know he will be activated soon?

  5. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #5
    Personally I find it strange when people have a "wedding" a year after they are already married.

    A reception/party to celebrate their marriage? Sure. A fake marriage ceremony? Kinda weird to me, but to each their own.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by twentyatheart View Post
    he only gets BAH if he is activated..how do you know he will be activated soon?
    He will be considered Active until early next year and then might be deployed at the end of year and be active then.
    "At story time I want to hear our tale"-DF


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    #7
    Wait. You sound like you'll have regrets if you don't. And my philosophy is to try to live every day with no regrets.
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    #8
    The BAH isn't THAT great, unless he is an officer or something.
  9. The LDR that never ends..
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    #9
    When DB's out of the mil we're running off and eloping in Colorado with just our parents and siblings, we plan on doing a reception both in Utah (where he is from) and Iowa (me) that way we dont feel like we are leaving one or the others family out. Its cheaper, plus it would be more intimate with just us some where beautiful.
    To each their own.

    If you want your wedding day, dress and friends/family with you than have that wedding and start planning it asap and just do something simple.
  10. I Will Rise Above
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    #10
    If that is what you want to do do it.

    DH and I got legally married and then had a church wedding with family and friends 6 months later.

    Wouldn't take it back for anything. Both are special in there own way to us and we've found it nice to have a JOP day that is JUST for us and then our other anniversary is more a family occasion.

    In your case if you want to do it to get the BAH do it then have a big reception or church service later??

    However if you are wavering and not positive perhaps don't jump into it. If you aren't for sure you don't want to regret it.
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