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Thread: oh timing!

  1. Fresh Newbie
    cardinal07's Avatar
    cardinal07 is offline
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    Sep 2011

    oh timing!

    My DB and I have been together for four years now. We have been long distance for almost a year. I am on the east coast while he is stationed in Europe. Right now we are at a crossroads. Are we ready to take the next step to marriage. We definitely love each other enough, we can work through problems, we compromise. If we lived in the same city it would be no question. But he lives in Europe. It's not like marriage would just be joining our lives, I would be completely leaving everything I know. I'm really worried that if I move to Europe, it will ruin our relationship because I'm not going to feel fulfilled. How much am I going to be able to work or fill my day being only 22 with no kids, family, or friends? How many job prospects are there living out of the country with just a B.A. in Theater? These are all things swimming through my head, and I feel like this stress is starting to slowly hurt our relationship. I don't know. I'm hoping someone has maybe lived through this and can offer some advice on how I could move to Germany and not go insane feeling like I'm solely living for him/the army.
  2. Senior Member
    Jw1724's Avatar
    Jw1724 is offline
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    Jan 2009
    i've been having the same issue in my head, but we've decided to remain LDR for now unless a good job opportunity comes to me in his area. i just cant see myself doing it otherwise. its really a personal decision but i can understand your issue. any idea on a timeline? maybe he would be stateside within a reasonable amount of time for you?
  3. ...and carry a towel.
    Space Hedgehog's Avatar
    Space Hedgehog is offline
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    Dec 2010
    Okay, first thing I can tell you is, Germany is a GREAT place to go further with your education. I really roll my eyes at spouses who sign up for online colleges here, without even checking out the local prospects. I'm currently going to graduate school here, and I pay 540 Euro PER SEMESTER. That is all, and I actually live in the state with most expensive education in the whole of Germany, some states have 200 Euro or so.

    In Germany, education is free (apart from administrative costs), and the philosophy is, for most majors, if you can qualify, we give you a spot, it's up to you to make it out with a degree. And yes, my major is in English, and yes, my university ranks among the top 100 tech schools in the world, apparently. So seriously, one thing you can immediately consider about Germany, depending on where your guy is, is further education.

    Second, how about learning another language? You are IN the culture, there will never be another chance like that. And back in the US, where (no offence meant, but it is true) most people speak only English, or at most English and Spanish, you will have a leg up by knowing a language of a country with strong economy and having international experience.

    And lastly, Germany is awesome. I am a foreigner here as well, and I won't tell you adaptation is the easiest, but it's the kind of experience that enriches you and makes you stronger. Of course, you could close yourself off on the US base, and be bored and unfullfilled, and I have noticed sadly this is what many spouses do. But if you actually make it your goal to know Germany, know Europe, learn the language, study perhaps... if you want to do something with yourself, believe me, Germany is a good place for it.

    Don't be scared of taking your relationship further, just because you're scared of moving to Europe. I promise, we don't bite. In fact, you might just fall in love Now, if you feel like it's not the right time for you two, that is another thing. But don't be scared of getting bored here. You won't, unless you choose to.

    P.S. Oh, and if you need help checking out the universities and such, PM me. I might be a foreigner, but I have also lived here 7 years, am fluent, and experienced with German university bureaucracy And willing to help! Hire meeee!

    I crack myself up after a full day of staring at Twitter for work

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