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Thread: Slowing down

  1. missing my sanity
    crazy♥gemini's Avatar
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    #1

    Slowing down

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    A little backstory: I said before DF and I have been good friends for 8 years, almost 9 by the time I get home. exH and I seperated in May and I couldn't afford the big apartment he and I had and all the bills exH stuck me with along with making me pay for the divorce. DF was on deployment at the time and just recently bought a house before deploying. So he said I could move in to his place and help him out around the house with all the cleaning and remodeling. And he said he would like to persue a relationship with me. I told him I was very interested but wanted to take time to deal with my divorce and take things slow for us to get to know each other on the dating level of a relationship. So I moved into his house in June and he came home in December. The moment he came home all that "take it slow" business went out the window and we were acting like a married couple.
    I love him to death and want to spend my life with him but I think he and I need to slow down and take a step back. Lately we've been fighting a lot and hurting each other. The deployment right now is not making things easy. I decided that when I get back home I am going to find a cheap one bedroom apartment and live on my own again. I think living on my own again will help me regain who I am as a person since I haven't had a chance to do that after my divorce and it will be good for our relationship so we can have the whole dating stage and not act like we are already married. I haven't run it by him yet because we are in the middle of a big fight and I don't want him thinking I'm moving out to be away from him or leave him, but I know he'll understand when I tell him. I know in the long run it will be better for us and our relationship.

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  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    I think you're making a wise decision.
  3. missing my sanity
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    #3
    thanks. I feel that it is best.

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    #4
    actually, that all sounds really smart and mature. i say go with that plan, dont change a thing about it, i think you're doing the right thing.
  5. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #5
    Probably a good idea. It does seem all too easy to move a little fast when you're used to being in a serious relationship.
  6. Account Closed
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    #6
    I agree, that is a very mature and smart decision. The only advice I have is wait until things calm down with your DF before discussing it with him because he is likely to think it is something you want to do to hurt him (heat of the moment type thing).

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    #7
    That seems like a really smart move. As someone who was married 20 years and pretty much had a relationship with a man since I was 14 years old I would definitely agree you need time. All of my friends told me to take time for me and I am glad I did.

    If you want to talk please feel free to send me a PM.
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    #8
    I think it is a great idea and will give you a chance to get to know yourself again after your divorce and whatnot. I hope you guys get through this fight soon



    NotThatMonkey is my awesome Wifey
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by danik View Post
    Probably a good idea. It does seem all too easy to move a little fast when you're used to being in a serious relationship.


    On my way to a healthier me, one mile at a time
  10. I just can't even...
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by QB77 View Post
    I think you're making a wise decision.
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