mama's boy

[Trescha]

Well i just am having the hardest time ever right now with my fiance...He is in a school and just graduated bootcamp in the end of december. And well he is a mamas boy and its driving me crazy. I dont know why i get so jealous when they talk but i do. And i am trying to work on it but its just hard. And its like today he called his mom just to see if he could go out to dinner. Because his money is low and she pay his bills and all because they go to his house and all that bs. And we are getting married soon so i know i will be in control then but still right now its just driving me crazy. ANd i dont know if i am over reacting or not. And his mom is so damn nosey and she even asked of she could suprise me with my flowers for the wedding since she is paying for them....i mean come on damnit! AHHHHHH I just have to vent because i dont want to cause an argument between dustin and i. Yall please help me with what i can do because i am going crazy and i want to know if i am in the wrong for feeling this way.

[~Stephie~]

The financial thing you should just let go for now. My DF's family still does all that since the bills come to his house. I take care of a few for him but not many. You need to talk to him if things are bugging you. Just holding it in is going to cause you to resent him and/or his mother and that's not a good way to start the marriage. Talk to his mom about the flowers. If you don't want her to surprise you tell her no. She may be paying for them, but it's up to you and dustin to decide what you want, not her. Honestly the best thing you can do for yourself is just try to relax!!! He loves his momma! LOL! DF talked to his mom a lot at first too and the relationship she and I had was/is really important to him! Don't let it bother you. You don't have to compete with her. She's his mom and you are his fiancee. There's a big difference and he loves you both in very different ways. Just kind of go with it right now. If something bugs you let each of them know! It'll just make it worse if you bottle it up!! HTH!!

[Chevy_Gurl]

I wish I had some advice, but DH is a mama's boy hard core on most days. It drives me insane when they have their daily 4.45am morning calls and other crap. But I have learned in the past yr to pick my battles.He loves me. He puts me first. I make the calls about important things, so if he wants to call her every day fine but just not when Im home. good luck

Definately talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. My husband was the same about his mom paying all hisbills and taking care of all his stuff, and once we got married, it transfered all to me. It made me crazy dealing with it, so I make him take an active role in figuring the bills.

[Rach]

Ha, I thought it was just mine who had his Mom involved in his bills when I first met him.

Anyways, I got one on my hands too. Fortunately he listens to me when I express concern over something his Mom is doing. Sometimes she reminds me of Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond but I'm trying to see her in a different light since he's close to her.

I don't think the Mother's try to impose intentionally. I guess their looking at as their "little boys"....Maybe we'll understand one day, lol.

But yeah, I would talk with him about how you feel.

Good luck

[NavyFiance08]

You are not alone... my DF is a BIG mamma's boy, not so much by his choice but forced by his mom, she is SO NOSEY!!! she is in the middle of EVERYTHING! I am hoping things will get better once we live together away from her. She calls him EVERY morning to say "good morning, hope you have a good day" and then lays HUGE guilt trips on him if he doesn't call every night to say good night....it's absolutely insane, I've told her more then once I feel like I am fighting another girlfriend for his attention instead of his mom. I really wish she would just cut the umbilical cord already . just thought you should know....you're not alone, and although his Mom will always be his mom, he fell in love with you...and finding love holds a much higher place in the heart than forced love.

[Chelly]

my dh and his mom are pretty close. it was a problem at first for me because it felt like i had to compete for his attention. i felt that i could never be as good, but that all changed once we were married. the insecurities have gone away.. however the annoyance is still there from time to time

they still talk, but not as much.. it goes in phases for us depending on whats going on..

just be open about it...thats the best thing you can do

[Trescha]

Thanks yall so much. I thought it was only me going through all this...and it drives me crazy....with time i hope it gets better! Who knows? But for now things are ok. Its just she will call him and if he doesnt answer she calls ME! And i am like ahhhhhhhhh! He will call you back stop calling me! I guess thats what gets to me too. She has to know where he is always at and if she calls and we are talking and she hears my phone beeping...shes like its dustin isnt it? And omg whatever! i am going to stop! lol I think yall get the point! thanks again yall! i am so glad i am not the only one yet i feel for yall.

she sounds VERY ANNOYING to me! my husband was a mama's boy when we first got married, and let me tell you it was HELL!! besides the fact that his mom is so completely screwed up in many ways (believe me if I told you stories you would understand" I'm still having problems with her to this day but most of the time I try to keep it to myself. If it gets so bad though you do need to tell your soon to be hubby how you feel. I guess the only thing that keeps me going is to think that my wonderful husband wouldn't be here without her, no matter how crazy she might be.

[Rach]

Oh no girl, you are def not the only one!

Yeah, his Mom does sound annoying

Mines Mom is trying to tell us that we have to name our kids w/ both of Phil's last names (hyphenated) instead of the 1 he goes by. I want just the 1 he goes by, but she's saying we have to do both...Uh, don't think so!

Gotta love them!