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Thread: I'm really not a bad person I swear.

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    #1

    Confused I'm really not a bad person I swear.

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    I broke up with my DB. There were a lot of reasons but I think it mostly just comes down to the fact that neither of our hearts was in it. It was all seeming more and more pointless. I still care about him and I miss him but it just wasn't working out.

    The thing is, there is someone who my heart IS with...someone I've known for years. Someone who I've been through hell and high water with. Someone who despite all the craziness we've been through I've never stopped loving even though I tried. And I tried HARD. We'll call him H.

    And now...and not now just because I broke up with my DB but for a couple months now...H has been saying he wants to be with me. This is what I've wanted for so long but...people will think I'm some kind of boyfriend-switching monster or something. I kind of feel that way too. Even I must admit it looks so cruel and calloused from the outside looking in. On top of that, I know I'm going to have to deal with crap from a lot of people who disapprove of H.

    I haven't been around here much although I think I will be around more now. I was just having a hard time dealing with the imminent demise of my relationship. I really would have liked it to work.

    I'm so frustrated. Hmm maybe I should have put this in Venting...
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    Ya know, this happens sometimes. Are you positive H is being honest and truly wants a real relationship with you? If you feel in your gut that this is the right decision for you then don't beat yourself up. If it wasn't meant to be with your now exDB then it wouldn't have lasted anyway. Just don't go switching back and forth, now that would be mean. I wish you the best of luck. I don't think you're a bad person
  3. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #3
    None of that makes you a bad person. I think you should take some time for yourself to heal over the break up though. And then when you feel better, evaluate whether or not a relationship with H is a good idea. You don't have to make any decisions right now.

    And even if you did leave your DB for H that doesn't make you a bad person either. You weren't feeling right in the relationship so you ended it. Nobody can ask anything more. It's not like you cheated on him or something.

    Just because you break up with someone doesn't make you a bad person. You're not obligated to stay with someone that doesn't make you happy. As far as I can tell you did everything right.
  4. Preaching from the book of Johnny Cash...
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    #4
    op
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessym View Post
    Ya know, this happens sometimes. Are you positive H is being honest and truly wants a real relationship with you? If you feel in your gut that this is the right decision for you then don't beat yourself up. If it wasn't meant to be with your now exDB then it wouldn't have lasted anyway. Just don't go switching back and forth, now that would be mean. I wish you the best of luck. I don't think you're a bad person
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    #6
    I have done the dreaded switch before... and it wasn't because I planned it but it was because it happened by chance, I met someone who I really enjoyed their company and we hung out exclusively for a few weeks before deciding to make it official...

    I think you should focus on what makes you happy rather than worrying about how other people will think of you at that moment... people forget especially if they are good friends... soon they will see that this person may make you much happier and that is all that matters... if you think this was the right choice... then it is

    Last edited by bugbabe623; 03-02-2011 at 02:30 PM. Reason: brain dead... pressed enter too fast

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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by bugbabe623 View Post
    I have done the dreaded switch before... and it wasn't because I planned it but it was because it happened by chance. I think you should focus on what makes you happy rather than worrying about how other people will think of you at that moment... people forget especially if they are good friends... soon they will see that this person may make you much happier
  8. Don't ever settle for less than you deserve.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessym View Post
    Ya know, this happens sometimes. Are you positive H is being honest and truly wants a real relationship with you? If you feel in your gut that this is the right decision for you then don't beat yourself up. If it wasn't meant to be with your now exDB then it wouldn't have lasted anyway. Just don't go switching back and forth, now that would be mean. I wish you the best of luck. I don't think you're a bad person


    If this other guy makes you happy and the other guy didn't there is nothing wrong with that. You didn't string him along so to me you did what is right for both of you.

    I hope things work out with you and H.
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    #9
    Geez thanks everybody. This is why I come here for perspective...

    I feel like H is sincere. We have always had such an open relationship. He doesn't sugarcoat anything for me. If he was unsure he would either tell me that or not bother declaring his feelings at all.

    I think I will pause though and just let everything settle down. Or at least try. Whether or not things progress with H, I definitely don't regret my decision to break up with exDB. I dont plan on bouncing back and forth.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by ShesSoCami View Post
    Geez thanks everybody. This is why I come here for perspective...

    I feel like H is sincere. We have always had such an open relationship. He doesn't sugarcoat anything for me. If he was unsure he would either tell me that or not bother declaring his feelings at all.

    I think I will pause though and just let everything settle down. Or at least try. Whether or not things progress with H, I definitely don't regret my decision to break up with exDB. I dont plan on bouncing back and forth.
    sounds like you made the right decision to me
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