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Thread: Engagement and Deployment..*Sigh*

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    #1

    Engagement and Deployment..*Sigh*

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    So, I've been with DB for about 1 1/2 years, and I absolutely love him with all my heart. We've already been through 1 deployment, and we have another one coming up in a few months. Ever since December (before we knew about the deployment), he kept hinted at engagement..I'm guessing to see how I really felt about it. He kept making it feel like it was going to be somewhat soon.

    Well, now that he's getting deployed, I'm honestly curious about how he really feels about engagement. I'm not going to ask him this but..I keep thinking..is this deployment going to make him ask me before he goes, or is he going to wait the deployment out before asking.

    I don't mind either way, of course I would love to be engaged before he leaves, but if this just isn't the right time, then it's just not. Ya know? Just curious, and thinkin a talk is in the works to see if we are on the same page. I just needed to vent a little. I know I can always count on all of you to listen!
    Last edited by JennaK828; 01-18-2011 at 08:37 AM.


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    #2
    definitely talk to him about it
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    #3
    I agree with Cassieee! Talk to him about it. I went through a similar experience and i wish I would have been more open with DB about wanting to get engaged before deployment. I really wanted him to do it but he didn't. However now that we have talked about it (via skype in a Starbucks in Bahrain...not the best time to discuss future life plans..haha!) I feel much better. Maybe that's what ya'll need.

    Either way...good luck prepping for deployment! Sending you a hug!
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    #4
    I second that. A talk about it won't hurt anything. I'm sure he probably would appreciate knowing how you feel about it. Being on the same page, especially before he leaves again, will make things much easier and will leave you with less to worry about, etc.
    I hope it works out exactly how you want it to! GOOD LUCK!
    I miss him so much... but I love him even more. And that makes all the difference!
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    #5
    I personally disagree. If he is leaving in a few months and you want to know if he is proposing before or after then you could ruin a surprise if he was planning on doing it before he left. But if you don't care about the surprise (and he doesn't) then that's different.

    I have been dating my DB for 2.5 years and we know we want to get married after I graduate (in 2 years). He left today for his deployment. I also was curious whether he might propose before he left but I didn't ask and I'm glad I didn't. Now I also have something to look forward to when he gets back and I don't know when it would happen then either. But I also like surprises, so that could just be me.

    You say you don't mind, so I would let it happen naturally. But I know everyone is different.
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    #6
    Talk to him about it or you could just keep hinting that you want him to.
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    #7
    Let your man be a man! Let him propose when he is ready to. Most men don't like the not so subtle dropping of hints, the pressure to get engaged, and the constant where do we stand talks. OP, if your boyfriend wants to marry you, he will ask you. If he doesn't want to, he won't.

    If you are engaged while he is on deployment or not, it doesn't change much.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by nightingail View Post
    I personally disagree. If he is leaving in a few months and you want to know if he is proposing before or after then you could ruin a surprise if he was planning on doing it before he left. But if you don't care about the surprise (and he doesn't) then that's different.
    Just wanted to put a side note in here..I don't want to talk to him about WHEN he wants to ask me to marry him, I want to talk to him about how he FEELS about marriage and engagment.

    Sorry I didn't word that right in the beginning!

    Thats for the reply too, and I'm sorry your having to go through a deployment too!!


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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Anchored2aSailor View Post
    Let your man be a man! Let him propose when he is ready to. Most men don't like the not so subtle dropping of hints, the pressure to get engaged, and the constant where do we stand talks. OP, if your boyfriend wants to marry you, he will ask you. If he doesn't want to, he won't.

    If you are engaged while he is on deployment or not, it doesn't change much.
    You're right..I know it won't change anything really, like I said he's just been dropping hints here and there. I'm not going to ask him about WHEN/IF he's going to propose, I just wonder in my head if this deployment is going to change when he wanted to (if he wanted to).


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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by JennaK828 View Post
    So, I've been with DB for about 1 1/2 years, and I absolutely love him with all my heart. We've already been through 1 deployment, and we have another one coming up in a few months. Ever since December (before we knew about the deployment), he kept hinted at engagement..I'm guessing to see how I really felt about it. He kept making it feel like it was going to be somewhat soon.

    Well, now that he's getting deployed, I'm honestly curious about how he really feels about engagement. I'm not going to ask him this but..I keep thinking..is this deployment going to make him ask me before he goes, or is he going to wait the deployment out before asking.

    I don't mind either way, of course I would love to be engaged before he leaves, but if this just isn't the right time, then it's just not. Ya know? Just curious, and thinkin a talk is in the works to see if we are on the same page. I just needed to vent a little. I know I can always count on all of you to listen!
    Quote Originally Posted by JennaK828 View Post
    Just wanted to put a side note in here..I don't want to talk to him about WHEN he wants to ask me to marry him, I want to talk to him about how he FEELS about marriage and engagment.

    Sorry I didn't word that right in the beginning!

    Thats for the reply too, and I'm sorry your having to go through a deployment too!!
    Sorry OP! I thought based on the above it was about the when. Whoops! Disregard my comment then. I would say definitely talk to him then. And thank you, I'm sorry you are coming up on your second one too.
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