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Thread: too serious too fast...

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    #1

    too serious too fast...

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    Okay I have not been dating my DB that long maybe 2 months. He has already told me he loves me ive not gotten to that point yet and LOVE is big for me and im not ready for that. and then second he is talking about marriage and it scares me to death! Yes i like him a lot but those two things scare me. I have been engaged but we were together a long time before that came up. Do you think this deployment has made him think like that? and why does all this freak me out?

    I think a relationship is progression but maybe im wrong?
  2. The Decider
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    #2
    I think if you haven't said you love him, he's kinda dumb for talking about marriage already.

    A relationship is absolutely a progression. I would tell him that you both need to take a step back for right now - that you haven't even said the L-word, and you're not ready for talk of marriage, and you need him to respect that.
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    #3
    I'd definitely be weary for a while. It could be that he really loves you and already thinks/knows he wants to marry you, but he could also just be one of those people that wants to get married right away in general. If you don't love him yet, don't say it back! You might want to tell him that him being so aggressive so fast is really wigging you out, and that you need him to cool his jets until you're on the same page. If he wont let it go, then he probably just wants to be married, and it might not matter much to whom.
  4. Your future hair stylist :)
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleRed View Post
    I think if you haven't said you love him, he's kinda dumb for talking about marriage already.

    A relationship is absolutely a progression. I would tell him that you both need to take a step back for right now - that you haven't even said the L-word, and you're not ready for talk of marriage, and you need him to respect that.
    Thank you! and thats what i thought. I keep telling him that but he he keeps talking about it. He Knows ive been engaged but that didnt last because my ex came home from iraq and cheated on me. So im waiting till my DB comes home..im kinda guarding my heart right now.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Moxie View Post
    I'd definitely be weary for a while. It could be that he really loves you and already thinks/knows he wants to marry you, but he could also just be one of those people that wants to get married right away in general. If you don't love him yet, don't say it back! You might want to tell him that him being so aggressive so fast is really wigging you out, and that you need him to cool his jets until you're on the same page. If he wont let it go, then he probably just wants to be married, and it might not matter much to whom.
    Oh no i dont say it back because thats worse! The L word scares me to say it.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Moxie View Post
    I'd definitely be weary for a while. It could be that he really loves you and already thinks/knows he wants to marry you, but he could also just be one of those people that wants to get married right away in general. If you don't love him yet, don't say it back! You might want to tell him that him being so aggressive so fast is really wigging you out, and that you need him to cool his jets until you're on the same page. If he wont let it go, then he probably just wants to be married, and it might not matter much to whom.
  7. Keep Calm and Ride Unicorns
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    #7
    My advice is don't do anything YOU aren't ready for.

    I got married at about 2.5 months into my relationship with my husband, we did everything at lightning speed, but we were ready for it and wanted to do it. That's what's important. Not the time frame, but how you FEEL.


  8. Formerly BooBoo_Bear
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Trina View Post
    My advice is don't do anything YOU aren't ready for.

    I got married at about 2.5 months into my relationship with my husband, we did everything at lightning speed, but we were ready for it and wanted to do it. That's what's important. Not the time frame, but how you FEEL.


    It's only too fast if it feels too fast. My parents were married less than 10 months after they met. This October, they'll be wed 40 years. No one can say that the timing is right except you. And there's nothing wrong with NOT feeling it yet.
    But at the same time, don't think that just because you were with your ex for awhile before you got engaged, that it means you have to be with another guy that long before you get engaged again.
    If it makes you uncomfortable that he talks about marriage already, explain to him that you like him and care about him, but until he's home, you just can't think about that given the circumstances of your last engagement. He should be understanding of it. If not, maybe he's not the guy for you
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    #9
    I definitely agree with what everyone else has already said... and couldn't have said it better myself. Don't do/say anything until you're ready.
  10. Account Closed
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    #10
    with everyone. a relationship is definately a progression but it progresses based on BOTH people's feelings and readiness. Some relationships takes days or weeks to advance, others take months or years. Just keep your guard up if you aren't ready to take it down and if he truly loves you, he'll wait and if not then it's his loss. Kudos to you for knowing what you want and sticking to it
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