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Thread: Anxiety - Germany - Marriage - HELP!

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    #1

    Anxiety - Germany - Marriage - HELP!

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    I am stressing so much thinking he is not going to propose before he goes to Germany and that he is going to leave me behind. I am actually having nightmares about it. I just woke up from one in a cold sweat and crying. The fact that he is trying to keep any possible engagement plans/ me going with him plans a secret so he "can surprise me if he wants to" is making me think he is not going to.

    I'm freaking out, we're running out of time and I don't know what to do because I don't want to pressure him into marriage at all.
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    #2
    When does he leave for Germany?
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by decks89 View Post
    When does he leave for Germany?
    May
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    #4
    Okay...that is about 4 months...

    When do you plan on getting married if he asks?

    Does he know if he will be able to keep these orders if
    he gets married?
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by decks89 View Post
    Okay...that is about 4 months...

    When do you plan on getting married if he asks?

    Does he know if he will be able to keep these orders if
    he gets married?
    I'm thinking that we should do a JOP pretty soon after he asks so we can get all the paperwork going, and then have a ceremony closer to when we would be leaving.

    I'm not positive he would keep them, but he hasn't mentioned that.
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    #6
    I know it's pressing to you, but don't rush him into this. If you have to endure a little separation for awhile, it's not the end of the world. DH proposed while he was on leave when he was still stationed in Hawaii. We knew we wouldn't be getting married until after that tour. My priority was to get my education, not a wedding ring. If you love him and he loves you, what else matters?

    Let it be a surprise. I didn't have that luxury thanks to a family member basically spilling the bean. Do you know how nice it would have been to be 100% surprised?!

    You're definitely NOT running out of time, hun. Just relax and let it be. If he proposes before he leaves, great. You still have 4 months. If he waits a little longer, that's okay too. He's not going to "leave you behind."
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by a3dayeventer2009 View Post
    I'm thinking that we should do a JOP pretty soon after he asks so we can get all the paperwork going, and then have a ceremony closer to when we would be leaving.
    Why are you in such a hurry??
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    #8
    Okay, let's say worst case scenario is he doesn't ask, and you stay here. It will be okay - it can be done, and has been (heck, I'm doing it right now). Distance isn't fun or easy, but it is possible. Either way, everything will work out. You can go visit him, and talk to him on skype... and then, if you two decide to get married once he's already there, you can always get command sponsorship later and go. I would, however, talk to him about how you're worried about being apart and ask him what he thinks about distance.

    Finally together in Okinawa and ready to start some new adventures together!
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by armyswthrt View Post
    Why are you in such a hurry??
    So I can go with him. With the military lifestyle we're going to spend enough time apart, as I'm sure you know.
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    #10
    How long have you been together and all that jazz? Have you met his family and has he met yours? Do you really in your heart believe your relationship is strong and developed enough to get married? Is there a chance that he's not ready? I'm not sure if you've posted that before...
    Just some stuff to think about.
    I am terribly sorry, I remember how upset I was when on our 3 year anni. in ROME DF didn't propose. Especially because he'd been making comments similar to what you said. It's the worst feeling, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing. I really do hope he proposes (especially if he said he would) and if that doesn't happen then I hope he decided to clarify what it is he's thinking.

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