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Thread: I don't know what to do.

  1. Loving life as a new sahm/w
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    #1

    Help I don't know what to do.

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    So DF has been home for a year now. And this past week has just been non stop agruing. I just dont know what to do. I feel like he doesn't love me anymore. Is it because we spend to much time together, Is the war just now getting to him. Or am I the one going crazy? I mean we have had planty of fights (real bad ones) to the point we almost split. He has told me before he has thought about not being with me. Well tonight we got into an arguement over me saying that I was wrong and he was right. I said I dont know what I am talking about and you do...... And he got pissed over it. I figured I would just sleep on the couch tonight because I figured he didnt want to be around because all day he has been ignoring me. Not talking to me not even looking at me. And once again he gets hella pissed and gets out of bed gets dressed and he left. I dont know where he went he didnt take his phone, I just dont know what to do.


    Someone please help. Tell me what to do. Do I need to go somewhere for a few days... Let it go??? What I need help.


    **** UPDATED****

    So he has been gone for an hour now and I don't know where he is. My only thought are he is either in Jail or the hospital!!! Ahhh I hate this.... I just hope he is a a friends house.
    Last edited by melissa8689; 01-06-2011 at 12:58 AM.
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    #2
    I think that you guys need to sit down and actually talk it out. Once you both cool down it will be easier to talk about it. Just tell him things can't be like this and we need to work on our communication because in my opinion that is where most of the issues are coming from. I have been there and done that but sitting down and really talking about it all will really help
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    #3
    DH and I about every 6 months used to go through something like what you are describing. He would shut down and not want to talk about anything and if I pushed it it would just make him more mad. So we got to the point where we just would not talk about the issues. We would ignore eachother for a few days and then things would be better. But we both agreed that that was no way to have a relationship and we agreed that we would talk through things. Honestly it took him maturing a lot before this totally took full effect. Both parties need to be able to talk things through together. Give him his space until he comes back home and ask him if he would like to talk. If he says no then it will probably push him further away. If he needs some space after that tell him that you need to talk through the issues. Just my advice that is what worked for us and now everything is amazing.
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    #4
    I agree with Nurse. You need to sit down, when you aren't already fighting, and talk through things. If you don't thinky you can do that, maybe you should try some pre-marital counseling. Sounds like the honeymoon phase is over, reality is setting in and he's having doubts. You two need to learn how to communicate and if necessary, FIGHT FAIR.

    Good luck.





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
  5. Loving life as a new sahm/w
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by nursejessica52 View Post
    I think that you guys need to sit down and actually talk it out. Once you both cool down it will be easier to talk about it. Just tell him things can't be like this and we need to work on our communication because in my opinion that is where most of the issues are coming from. I have been there and done that but sitting down and really talking about it all will really help
    When we sit down and talk after all this stuff happens its all him talking and I can't even get a word in. And then he says why don't I ever say anything I when I tell him its because I never get a word in its starts a whole new arguement. Plus I also say the wrong thing I dont think before I say anything, Its my down fall. And then he makes it to come out as Its all my fault and he did nothing wrong, Im tired of always being the bad guy. He makes me feel like crap, I feel worthless right now. I'm just so confused I just don't know what to do anymore. I really do think that its really going to be over between the two of us.
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    #6
    It sounds like you guys just might not be meant to be. A relationship shouldn't be forced. If you guys can't sit down and have a rational/adult conversation about your relationship, maybe splitting up wouldn't be such a bad thing?
  7. Loving life as a new sahm/w
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Anchored2aSailor View Post
    It sounds like you guys just might not be meant to be. A relationship shouldn't be forced. If you guys can't sit down and have a rational/adult conversation about your relationship, maybe splitting up wouldn't be such a bad thing?
    I do think we were ment to be together I didnt wait 3 1/2 years to be with him for it to end like this.
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    #8
    I can understand your feelings. I don't imagine most people go into a relationship hoping that it will end. People either grow up together, or grow apart. It sounds like you guys are the latter.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by melissa8689 View Post
    I do think we were ment to be together I didnt wait 3 1/2 years to be with him for it to end like this.
    You cannot continue with a relationship like this even if you have been together for 3 1/2 years. You will need to talk to him and tell him that for the sake of the relationship you guys have to talk out your issues where both of you are able to "speak" about the issue not just him.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by melissa8689 View Post
    When we sit down and talk after all this stuff happens its all him talking and I can't even get a word in. And then he says why don't I ever say anything I when I tell him its because I never get a word in its starts a whole new arguement. Plus I also say the wrong thing I dont think before I say anything, Its my down fall. And then he makes it to come out as Its all my fault and he did nothing wrong, Im tired of always being the bad guy. He makes me feel like crap, I feel worthless right now. I'm just so confused I just don't know what to do anymore. I really do think that its really going to be over between the two of us.
    If he is making you feel that way then you need to tell him that or in my opinion if he is doing that to you do you even think that it is worth it because you should not be treated that way at all. so maybe its time to re think your relationship
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