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Thread: Somewhat happy. *veryy long*

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    #1

    Neutral Somewhat happy. *veryy long*

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    I really don't know where to put this but if its wrong feel free to move.

    So I have posted here about last ex df and how it didnt work out. Well soon after that I figured y it hadn't. It was because I still had feelings for my other ex.

    J and I have been in this rollercoaster for 3 years. After 2 years, afrer he found out I was engaged he told me he loved me and wanted us to be together.

    Well J was in town for the holidays for 2 weeks. And in those 2 weeks I only saw him once. JUST ONCE! I mean I just don't get it. I understand u have to see family and all but at least try to make time to hang out "with the person u love". He had time to do other stuff but I was always last.

    Since we are stating a new year, I decided to end whatever we had going on. This is the exact convo we had:

    I said: "Hey since I didnt get to see you to tell you this in person I will text this to u. Lately I've thought about it a lot and it just kills me. Every time I see you my feelings get stronger but they also get hurt along the way. I'm just tired of it. It's not what I want but its something that needs to happen before it gets worse. Its time for me to let you go. I need to stop thinking something is hoing to happen when its not. I keep having hope in us but just not enough"

    J said: Now you understand, I needed you to figure this out on your own. I hope that we will remain friends, being together just wont work we both know that. I don't regret anything and I am always happy to have you in my life"

    I said: Figure what out? You were one of the reasons my past relationships didnt work out. You told me you were in love with me and I believed you. Not once did you try to work things out. I'm in love with you and have been for a while. Wish you would have never told me u loved me. I was doing just fine breforen that.

    J said: I do love you , which is why I can't be with you.

    I said: BS, that makes no sense.

    J said: You don't understand that's why, If you love someone then you are willing to put their needs above your own even if means you won't be with them, as long as it will be better for them in the future. If we both stay together we will not able to have the realtionship that you wish we can have because of my past. There will never be trust again so instead letting go is the best for the both of us.

    I said: This is tupid

    J said: Sorry steph I just want to make peace with you


    Now if someone understands can ya explain it to me cause this made no sense at all.

    After this I didnt text him back. I'm done with this chapter and I hope to keep strong about this. I love him I do but I can't keep putting my self through this.
    Last edited by steff09; 01-03-2011 at 10:30 AM.
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  2. If it should, it will come around again.
    Rachie78's Avatar
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    #2
    hmmm I think I'd just be done! Idk what happen in your past realtionship but I think its just best to move on...as hard as that is sometimes! You cant let him bring you down!
    So you say
    The present's just a pleasant
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    #3
    It doesn't make sense to me either hun... sorry I don't see how telling you he still loved you and what not when you were engaged was "putting your needs ahead of his own". it seems like it is for the best that you ended this thing, even though I know that it has to hurt a whole lot. I'm here if you wanna talk.
    Are you a parent? Ask me how you can help out with my thesis!!
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    #4
    Hmmmm, I agree it doesn't quite make sense. I hope you can move on and stay just as strong as you are!
  5. If you want to be loved, be lovable.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Rachie78 View Post
    hmmm I think I'd just be done! Idk what happen in your past realtionship but I think its just best to move on...as hard as that is sometimes! You cant let him bring you down!
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    #6
    He knows that you and he can never be what you want. So he is putting you ahead of him, and letting you go.



    "If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - President Ronald Reagan
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Judi89 View Post
    He knows that you and he can never be what you want. So he is putting you ahead of him, and letting you go.
    This is what I was thinking, but I vote he could have come to you with that instead of leaving you hanging...
  8. Man, Wife & Dog..Just the *3* of us<3
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    #8
    To me it sounds like he is trying to say that he loves you, but he won't treat you the way you deserve to be treated and give you what you need. Like you posted about when he was home that you wanted more time with him. To him seeing you 1 time in 2 weeks was ok, but for you it wasn't. He's not willing to give you what you need, and he realizes that, and was waiting for you to. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you, just means you two shouldn't be in a relationship right now. JMO. I hope you find happiness
    Lucky in love with my Best Friend
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    #9
    oooooooh, now I kinda understand but if he felt like this why not tell me this instead of leading it on.

    why does love have to be so complicated.
    Life is like photography,
    We develop from negatives.
  10. Senior Member
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by steff09 View Post
    oooooooh, now I kinda understand but if he felt like this why not tell me this instead of leading it on.

    why does love have to be so complicated.
    This is a general statement and not intended to be directed at you or your relationship.

    I don't think love has to be complicated. I think a lot of times it gets complicated when people instinctually fight for something because of a drive to keep something from being taken from them. Sometimes we just are not made for the person we are with. Women especially tend to grab on to someone harder when the realationship is threatened, not necessarily because they should or it is good for them, but because they don't want something taken from them. KWIM? Sometimes we should let go and move on but we don't want to because it is comfortable, or we've put in a lot of time, or because we just don't want to be alone or because we simply do not want to lose something when it is not on our terms. THAT is usually when things get complicated.

    If people would just step back and look at how the partner is treating them, how they are feeling in the relationship etc, instead of fighting for something for the sake of fighting for it, things would be less complicated and there would be less bitter breakups...



    "If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - President Ronald Reagan
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