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Thread: Relationship differences?

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    #1

    Question Relationship differences?

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    I'm not sure if this belongs here, but I'll go ahead and go for it anyways.

    I met my DB a little under a month before he deployed. We really hit it off, and when the time came for him to deploy we decided to stick together through it because we had really fallen hard for each other. So, we have kept in contact with and have talked and really developed our relationship. We spent his entire leave together, and although it sounds cliche, somewhere in there we fell in love. This was in July, and since then things have continued to develop and we've gotten really close emotionally despite being physically far away from each other. I love our relationship, and I love him more than I could ever express. We talk about the future, and how we would like each other in it all the time. It makes me feel so good, and while I have discussed the future with an ex, there isn't the same hesistation and apprehension when I talk about it with DB as when I talked about it with the ex. It just feels really right, I don't know how else to explain it.

    Here is my issue: when I tell one of my close friends about this, she tells me that it seems too soon to be talking about this, and for us to be so serious already. She said that it would be different if he had been here the entire time I've known him, but since we haven't been physically "together" that we really don't have a sense of what the other is really like. I should probably add in that she has dated the same guy for seven years, so maybe her perspective is different from mine. I don't agree with her though, I feel like through our various methods of talking that I have really gotten to know my DB well, but idk. She's made me think that I might just be caught up in the romance of it all, but I don't really think I believe that.

    I have also noticed that it seems to be that relationships involving people in the military seem to go "faster" than ones where neither of the people in the couple are in the military. I don't see anything wrong with this, I know a lot of people in happy realtionships with men and women in the service. Am I imagining this?

    I don't know what to make of all this. Anybody have any thoughts?
    "Its a good kind of crazy"
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    #2
    I think every relationship is different. Nobody can tell you that you don't know him. And while, yes, your friend has a valid point that sometimes people are different in person... it isn't like you've never met the guy. I think you and he are just fine.
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    #3
    I can relate to how you feel. My DB and I had a whirl-wind romance. But he wasn't deployed. We've been together for almost 6 months and by 2 months we were talking about the future and bought promise rings before we went back to school first semester. Yeah, we were a little rushed but i don't regret it.

    People meet in different ways. Saying that its too soon for you to be talking about the future because you haven't been physically together very much, doesn't mean anything. Everyone's relationship is different.

    I hope I helped.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Kiley. View Post
    I think every relationship is different. Nobody can tell you that you don't know him. And while, yes, your friend has a valid point that sometimes people are different in person... it isn't like you've never met the guy. I think you and he are just fine.


    I think your friend is just trying to be protective, but only you know how you feel.

    Finally together in Okinawa and ready to start some new adventures together!
  5. He comes home verrry soon!!
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    #5
    no one knows how you're feeling but you- and it seems like you are happy with him, and appreciate the differences (for the better) of him compared to your ex.

    so, it is definitely possible to fall for someone quickly, and it takes more effort i think to make something work at a distance than it does when they're here. you have to keep the flame alive so to speak thousands of miles away.
    it seems like you're happy don't listen to anyone else if it brings you down!!
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    #6
    You ladies are helping me, thanks so much! I am happy with DB, my friend was just kind of a downer and made me think that maybe I was being silly or irrational or something.

    I guess I should also mention that by "the future" I mean staying together. Neither of us have brought up marriage, but we have discussed moving in together once he is done with active duty, which is over a year and a half away.
    "Its a good kind of crazy"
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    #7
    I have to agree that all relationships are different. My DH and I have known each other for 9 years but we lost contact and I hadn't seem him for the last 6 years. We reconnected through messaging on FB and then Skype (he was deployed) and that is how our relationship started and grew. We started talking Jan/Feb of 2010 and finally met up again in person in May (his return to states) and started officially dating then. We got married July of 2010 moved in to our first house in Aug. and have been happy and completely in love. Very fast, yes, but it felt right and I never did anything I didn't want to do. I love him and the choices I have made. Sometimes, you just have to take people's advice and say thank you. Time will tell how your relationship develops but heck, if it feels right, then go for it!
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    #8
    oops! wrong reply....

    I think that long distance make things move faster sometimes but you might miss important relationship factors that need to be discussed.
    Last edited by Just_Special; 01-02-2011 at 02:26 AM. Reason: wrong reply

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    #9
    Every relationship is different. My brother was in a relationship with a girl for 3 years, lived with her, etc. 2weeks before their wedding they broke up. DH and I were in a LDR for 3 yrs (met and dated online) before we got married and spent a total of a month together before we got married and have been married almost 5 yrs now. Weither you are together or apart, your relationship is what you make of it and how you handle every situation in your relationship


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    #10
    I also agree that your relationship is your own. Its nice when people express concerns but they have no right to critique how your relationship is progressing. We all develop (physically, emotionally, mentally) differently and you know whats best for you. 7 yrs compared to your relationship has no relevance bc you are all completely different people.
    Lots of luck to your relationship. As cheesy as it sounds, Only you make you happy.
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