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Thread: My career or my relationship? (long)

  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    My career or my relationship? (long)

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    Okay, well maybe it isn't as simple as that - it might not have to be one or the other, but it probably will.

    I'm about to turn 29 and have been messing around for many years trying to decide on a career.

    I've found something that I am really interested in doing - being a fire fighter. I think I could actually love this and make a career out of it, unlike everything I've done up until now. (And unlike everything I studied for) I REALLY want to do this and i've been training for nearly a year to get fit enough.

    The problem is, New Zealand (where I live) is mainly made up of voluntary fire brigades. Very few of the places DB could end up being sent to are places with paid fire brigades. So, if I choose to go ahead with this dream I'm basically choosing to live in a city that I'm pretty sure DB won't be living in.

    Not only that, but the training for the next intake will start only a couple of weeks before DB gets home from deployment. So instead of the trip to Italy we were planning to take during his leave, I will hardly get to see him at all when he gets back.

    I don't know how to choose between the two. DB says he doesn't want to stand in my way when he knows how much I want to be a firefighter. But how do I pick something that I know will take me away from him potentially forever? (Because I know long distance is possible, but we're talking our entire careers here)
  2. Am
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    #2
    DO THIS. Do it for yourself or you will resent your SO later. You can always switch to voluntary later if need be. Your trip can be postponed. It doesn't have to be one or the other.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Am View Post
    DO THIS. Do it for yourself or you will resent your SO later. You can always switch to voluntary later if need be. Your trip can be postponed. It doesn't have to be one or the other.


    It's hard to see what forever will hold at this point. Take a chance on this and find out if it really is your dream.
    "Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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    #4
    It is a hard decision but... Say you don't go. And then a few years later, when you are doing a job you don't like, you turn on him and accuse him of being the thing that kept you from a career you actually want.
    Are you truly able to let your ambitions away to be with him? I think not, because otherwise you wouldn't have asked in the first place.
    I hope this works out..!
    When you got yourself a military man, you only get half a man... But then again, he saves the best piece for you.
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    #5
    I would hate to blame DB later, but I can see how that could easily happen. (Despite the fact that he is nothing but supportive of me becoming a fire fighter)

    Thanks ladies, you're right. I should at least give it a try and see what happens. At least in the short term it doesn't have to mean the end of our relationship, and who knows what will happen in the long term.

    I'm still scared, but it's nice to get some reassurance that choosing the fire service wouldn't be the wrong move. (i've had the same reassurance from family, but hearing it from strangers makes it more real if that makes sense)

    I hope I can keep this resolve right through the application process!

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