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Thread: Does it matter what your parents think???????

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    #1

    Question Does it matter what your parents think???????

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    My parents love my DB. . . but lately my mom keeps making comments about how she didn't think I would get wrapped up in a relationship like this and am I really happy etc etc. . . Im going through my second deployment with him and she never saw me go through the first so it really wasn't real to her and she didn't understand it at all. . . now it hits more at home I guess. . . . but with comments like this how am I supposed to take that?

    Does it matter to you guys about what your parents think about you being in a military relationship??

    Does anyone else have parents that are concerned about it like this???
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    #2
    Nope, as long as I am happy then my dad is fine with it. It's my life.
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    #3
    I'm not sure how to explain this but I guess... it MATTERS to me, but not to the extent that I will ultimately do what they want me to do. I respect my parents' opinion and I know they love me and care about me and want the best for me... because of that, what they think DOES matter, but ultimately I will make my own choices for my own life. My parents weren't thrilled about me moving to San Diego with DH when I did (they thought it was too soon, wanted us to take our time, etc.), and I considered their opinion, but I still moved with DH (then DB).
    Beth, Mama to Emmalee (12), Evan (9), and Ella (4 on May 7) (I really REALLY need to update my picture!)
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    #4
    If my parents are concerned about my SO being a bad person or that my relationship is an unhealthy one, then yes it matters to me. I'd take it in to consideration.

    If they are merely concerned that my relationship is military, then I can understand their concern but no it does not affect my feelings towards my SO. A military relationship isn't right for everyone (including me/DH). If it's right for you, don't worry about what others think.
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    #5
    Yes, my parents raised me and are good, loving people. I absolutely always took their opinion into consideration. The fact that my SO is military doesn't void their feelings.

    I am not saying a parents thoughts should be the only factor though.

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    #6
    I do know she wants me to be happy but it kinda makes me worry and wonder if shes seeing a problem that i'm not. . . or maybe just thinks and worries about how difficult it could be in the future with kids an what not? I love him and really theres no problem emotionally between us . . . just figuring out when/how to end our LDR and all . . and not knowing an exact point when he wants kids but to me thats all stuff that kind of is decided and happens on the journey depending on where and how life takes you.
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    #7
    I say, if her opinion is important to you (it would be to me) talk to her more. Find out exactly what her concerns are, and see if you can put any (hopefully all!) of them to rest. Relationships involving the military can be a little daunting to people who aren't in them. Heck, they can be daunting to people who ARE in them. Relationships are complicated, no matter what employment is involved, but I think the more informed your loved ones are, the more they understand that the challenges of a military relationship are just as surmountable as the challenges of any other.
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    #8
    My mother is very happy I found someone to be happy with, the military plays no part in it. My father would have been proud, being a sailor before I was born, even though DF is a soldier.

    She tried to be as supportive as she could through his deployment for me.
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    #9
    My mother was an army brat. So the fact that my SO's in the military pretty much sold her on the idea of us being together. Plus, she's quit sharing her opinion about my relationships. Every time I ask her, it's "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters", or "I can't tell you what you should do, you have to figure that out on your own."
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    #10
    Funny u say that about your mom. . . my mom was a navy brat and her father was HORRIBLE . . cheated and was an alcoholic. . . maybe thats part of it . . . never even thought to think about it like that. . . . . she has said that she just thought I would be with someone that is more open which DB is open and really relaxed about things I think the fact that I can't tell her yes were gettting engaged soon yes we will have kids in a few years is why she says hes a closed book? she loves his personality and everything else so it was confusing all of a sudden after he left and now she's started to say things like this.
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