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Thread: Married and living apart?

  1. Finally a Pharmacist and Wife to a Civilian!!
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    #1

    Nutts Married and living apart?

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    I don't know where this goes, so I just picked here haha.

    Our current plan since we've started talking about getting married involves a 3-3.5 year minimum engagement because of our plans and such. We talked last night about the benefits of getting married early and we saw more benefits to waiting, with only a few changes that he seemed open to. It obviously needs a lot more discussion (and a proposal, but that comes soon).

    But depending on when this all happened, we could still be LD because he can't move and I can't move (stupid Army and school). So being apart could be something that would deter us from this, but I don't really know what that means.

    So anyways, my question... What is it like to live apart from your husband in the Army? What exactly would change? Would he still live in the barracks? Would I have to get an ID? Would there be paperwork and such?

    And... is this the dumbest idea ever that we shouldn't ever discuss again? haha


    I think I said something a little confusing and I posted it it in a later post, but sometimes it's easy to over look those. We would probably get married like winter of 2011 and I graduate in May 2012 with my PharmD and then just have to pass the boards and the law exam and get a job (hopefully with the VA or on military/government property). So it would only be about 6 months apart before I would be able to live with him. And a lot of it is because we don't want a super short OR a super long engagement.
    Last edited by blondiebabe; 12-16-2010 at 01:18 PM.
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  2. Am
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    #2
    Everything would be the same as living together (ID, benefits, etc) except for physically living together.
  3. San Diego native in Kansas
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    #3
    He would be what is known as a geobachelor. You would be married, receiving all the benefits of being married to a military member such as and ID, medical and base privileges...but you'd be living apart. It's more common than you'd think. I don't know all the specifics, I'm sure some of the other ladies here can answer those questions.
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    #4
    Yes he would need to do paperwork to let the military know he is now married, you dont HAVE to get an ID, but if you want insurance you will need it, and I believe it depends on the housing situation wherever he is that determines whether he can remain in the barracks or not.
  5. Finally a Pharmacist and Wife to a Civilian!!
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by His*PITA* View Post
    Yes he would need to do paperwork to let the military know he is now married, you dont HAVE to get an ID, but if you want insurance you will need it, and I believe it depends on the housing situation wherever he is that determines whether he can remain in the barracks or not.
    I figured you can't do anything anymore without paperwork haha. Would I have to fly to his base to do that? Or would we be able to take care of it at a base in NC? Those are minor details, I don't know why all of a sudden I'm concerned about paperwork lol. I'm losing my mind a little.

    And... is this the craziest thing ever? Contemplating starting a marriage apart?

    But it makes me so happy to think that this man could be my HUSBAND
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  6. Just your everyday, laidback Aussie Girl
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    #6
    My husband is air force not army, but we lived apart for the first six months of our marriage and were in totally different countries. We hated it. Aa a married couple, I think you should live together, unless there is some reason you absolutely can't. To me school should not come before my marriage. The reason we could live together is because we were waiting on command sponsorship, I was finishing up at work, planning our big wedding ceremony and my dad was sick and passed away. It was only six months for us, but even that was too long IMO to be separated at the beginning of a marriage. Now if it was a deployment or something you have no control over, I can understand, but as a choice

    Some benefits of being married are medical, BAH, base/com my access, etc. However you should get marked just for the benifits


  7. Feelin' fly like a Cheesestick
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    #7
    I may be weird, but what's the point of getting married if you're not going to live together for a long time?
    Beth, Mama to Emmalee (12), Evan (9), and Ella (4 on May 7) (I really REALLY need to update my picture!)
  8. Just your everyday, laidback Aussie Girl
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by BethM View Post
    I may be weird, but what's the point of getting married if you're not going to live together for a long time?
    Not weird, I think the same way Beth


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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by blondiebabe View Post
    I figured you can't do anything anymore without paperwork haha. Would I have to fly to his base to do that? Or would we be able to take care of it at a base in NC? Those are minor details, I don't know why all of a sudden I'm concerned about paperwork lol. I'm losing my mind a little.

    And... is this the craziest thing ever? Contemplating starting a marriage apart?

    But it makes me so happy to think that this man could be my HUSBAND
    He can do the paperwork wherever he is and you can go to the closest military base and get your ID after that. You dont have to go to where he is.

    Personally not something I would (being married and living a part) do unless I HAD to (like we were married and then had to be apart), but its not uncommon for people to do it.
  10. Am
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by BethM View Post
    I may be weird, but what's the point of getting married if you're not going to live together for a long time?
    That's my thinking as well. I'm a smidge confused. To each their own I suppose. I'm not judging by any means. I just know that it's an amazing thing to experience TOGETHER. And I'd rather wait until we had the chance for that.
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