Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 23

Thread: So I asked

  1. Senior Member
    azarmygf's Avatar
    azarmygf is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Me: AZ
    Posts
    14,447
    #1

    So I asked

    Advertisements
    I know you all have probably seen my numerous posts about my "friend", who I sleep over with a lot, and am really good friends with, and we started having recently.

    Well I finally asked what exactly our relationship is. He gave me the run around, as I expected he would. and tried to explain it the best he could.(which isn't very well )

    Anyways he started out with:
    "Do we txt each multiple times throughout the day?" I responded no to that, because we really don't. Then he said that that is usually what happens when two people start liking each other, and that he admits that he does get grabby when i sleep over (), and that we are friends, and he likes when I'm around. and quote "your body is nice and warm, and i enjoy the company, and i don't mind you staying over" (who says that??) and other bs, trying not to hurt my feelings.

    finally, i just said, "I'm going to call it like it is, and say its friends with benefits" "+cuddling". He responded "Haha i think mostly the second one" (meaning the cuddling part).

    So, I didn't really learn anything new, just confirmed what i already thought was going on. And still pretty damn confused. He tried to be serious in the conversation, so i give him props for that, but the jokes started to come out.

    I guess i wasn't really expecting much, but i didn't really get any clarity.
    R.I.P. My Love, Everyone was supposed to come home together, I'm sorry you had to come home early
  2. Occasional lurker
    Serpentine's Avatar
    Serpentine is offline
    Occasional lurker
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    12,968
    #2
    Sounds really clear, actually. Sounds like you had an honest discussion where it was established you were friends with benefits and nothing more. No talk of being monogamous, committed or anything that comes with a more serious relationship.

    There is nothing wrong with that! But that's what it is.

  3. Formerly BooBoo_Bear
    SugaInMyPockets's Avatar
    SugaInMyPockets is offline
    Formerly BooBoo_Bear
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Lexington, KY
    Posts
    9,651
    #3
    Sounds like he enjoys being friends with benefits with you, but doesn't really have any interest in anything more. I don't know if you were hoping for more, but that's just what it sounds like to me. Which I don't think means he thinks any less of you, just doesn't necessarily want a gf right now, or just doesnt think you 2 would be the best fit (again, nothing wrong with you, it's just how it goes sometimes)
  4. Feelin' fly like a Cheesestick
    BethM's Avatar
    BethM is offline
    Feelin' fly like a Cheesestick
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Silverdale/Bremerton, WA
    Posts
    9,770
    #4
    I think that's about the most clarity you could ask for. You're friends with benefits. Are you wanting more?
    Beth, Mama to Emmalee (12), Evan (9), and Ella (4 on May 7) (I really REALLY need to update my picture!)
  5. Senior Member
    SquareBottle's Avatar
    SquareBottle is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    364
    #5
    So he is happy to fuck you, but doesn't want anything more.

    Is that what you want?

    If not, cut the SOB out of your life. Before you make a baby with him.

    Bob

    p.s. Please don't make a baby with him, for the sake of the child ...
  6. Senior Member
    meg_alane's Avatar
    meg_alane is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    McGuire AFB
    Posts
    3,394
    #6
    It sounds like you are wanting more out of the relationship. If this is the case, this "friends with benefits" relationship is only going to hurt you... badly. If you feel that you want more, you need get out before your feelings develop further.
  7. OG Member
    April Lynne's Avatar
    April Lynne is offline
    OG Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Houston, Tx area
    Posts
    18,492
    Blog Entries
    5
    #7
    In my experience friends with benefits never works....one person gets more attached than the other and someone ends up heart broken. It sounds to me like you're hoping he'll change his mind and honey he's not going to. If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you...he's happy with the way things are or he'd change them.


  8. Senior Member
    azarmygf's Avatar
    azarmygf is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Me: AZ
    Posts
    14,447
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by BooBoo_Bear View Post
    Sounds like he enjoys being friends with benefits with you, but doesn't really have any interest in anything more. I don't know if you were hoping for more, but that's just what it sounds like to me. Which I don't think means he thinks any less of you, just doesn't necessarily want a gf right now, or just doesnt think you 2 would be the best fit (again, nothing wrong with you, it's just how it goes sometimes)
    Quote Originally Posted by BethM View Post
    I think that's about the most clarity you could ask for. You're friends with benefits. Are you wanting more?

    Quote Originally Posted by meg_alane View Post
    It sounds like you are wanting more out of the relationship. If this is the case, this "friends with benefits" relationship is only going to hurt you... badly. If you feel that you want more, you need get out before your feelings develop further.
    I don't really think i want anything more, I mean i guess it would be kind of messy. I would definitely be ok with more, but i'm ok with this too. I just wanted a mutual decision, so i could put it in my mind. honestly, if he finds another girl, I'm gonna be a bit hurt, but its not going to be the end of the world. Thank you for your posts ladies, they put my mind at ease.

    Quote Originally Posted by SquareBottle View Post
    So he is happy to **** you, but doesn't want anything more.

    Is that what you want?

    If not, cut the SOB out of your life. Before you make a baby with him.

    Bob

    p.s. Please don't make a baby with him, for the sake of the child ...
    Thank you for your bluntness. I think this is what i want. I don't really consider it f***ing and nothing more. we are very good friends, I spend 75% of my time at his house (he lives in the same house as my best friend, so shes part of the reason for that).

    (and we are preventing baby making, thats good enough for me. I always thought he didn't have sex because he's too scared of babies, but look what we're doing now.)
    R.I.P. My Love, Everyone was supposed to come home together, I'm sorry you had to come home early
  9. MilitarySOS Jewel
    HollySunshine's Avatar
    HollySunshine is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Eielson AFB, AK
    Posts
    21,037

    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by April Lynne View Post
    In my experience friends with benefits never works....one person gets more attached than the other and someone ends up heart broken. It sounds to me like you're hoping he'll change his mind and honey he's not going to. If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you...he's happy with the way things are or he'd change them.
    very well said
  10. Anchored2aSailor's Avatar
    Anchored2aSailor is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Connecticut Bitches!
    Posts
    8,438
    #10
    The funny saying is: He won't buy the cow if he can get the milk for free.

    If he is getting things from you, whether it is emotional or physical, and you guys aren't exclusive, why would he change that? His needs are being fulfilled with hardly any work on his part.

    It sounds like you are already hoping that this guy will change his tune, because you are starting to have feelings for him. Tread carefully.
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •