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Thread: Feeling Pressured

  1. Fresh Newbie
    AutumnFyre's Avatar
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    #1

    Confused Feeling Pressured

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    I'm sort of new to the whole "military spouse" thing. Especially the political/social networking military spouse thing in the Air Force. My question is, as a military spouse, is it really necessary to be friends with everyone's spouse? My husband seems to think that if I'm not friends with ALL of his friends' wives I'm "never going to make it as a military wife" (his words).

    Help?!
  2. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #2
    Be civil, yes. Bosom buddies? No.
  3. Señor Member
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    #3
    Yeah your DH is a moron No offense

    I HATE a coworker of Mark's wife. She knows it... I'm sure she hates me too. But she also physically assaulted me, so I'm sure that's an exception

    be cool.
  4. Senior Member
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    #4
    I've never felt pressured to be best friends with the other women, but then I am only a girlfriend.

    However I have met a large number of them and they have all been lovely to me and are being great while DB is away!
  5. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #5
    you can be friends with whoever you want to if you don't like hanging out with someone don't do it.
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Ash Mark's. View Post
    Yeah your DH is a moron No offense

    I HATE a coworker of Mark's wife. She knows it... I'm sure she hates me too. But she also physically assaulted me, so I'm sure that's an exception
    I think all DH's have their moron moments
  7. Today was a Fairytale
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    #7
    I disagree with what your SO said. No you don't have to be all buddy buddy with his friends wife or you wont make it anywhere Of course be civil and polite. YOU can choose your friends, and choose wisely
  8. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #8
    I totally disagree! I've been living in Korea for two years and while I am friends with some military spouses, the vast majority of my friends are civilians. Not contractors, not associated with the military at all - teachers, like I am. I built my own circle of friends.

    Now my DH is in the Army but I can't imagine it's all that different from the Air Force, unless I am missing something ... I knew some women whose husbands were AF who also had tons of civilian not-military-affiliated friends.
  9. Senior Member
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    #9
    Yes, be civil. But don't feel pressured to be friends with all of them. My Dad was AD AF for 23 years and my mom warned me that I would meet all sorts of people, good and bad. She said you'll have to pick and choose your friends, but be civil to all because you never know how they can affect your life and/or SO's career. Is it right? No. Does it happen? Yes. In my one year as a military spouse I've witnessed this, so Mom was right.

    So, be polite to everyone, but feel free to make friends with people who you enjoy spending time with!

    ETA: See if you can get involved with a base spouses' club. It's a great way to meet women outside your DH's circle of friends and you never know who you'll meet. I'm a member of our club and I have become good friends with lovely ladies including the command chief's wife. So, you can do your own "networking," but make sure it's with women you actually like. There's no worse feeling than pretending to get along with someone just to make a good connection.
  10. Banned
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    #10
    I don't even care anymore. . I even live OCONUS and 70% of my friends are non-military. If I meet someone who is military and I like them, then they are my friend. Being married to my husbands coworkers is not an immediate qualification. I am civil to them unless otherwise provoked. At my last base (OCONUS), I was really bored because I refuse to take part in elitism and thus had no friends. . But I found other things to do (pregnant w/ DD2.)
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