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Thread: i HATE $$$$

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    #1

    Puke i HATE $$$$

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    i am really trying not to let money/debt come between me and DB. but i just got off the phone with him and i know once we are/ if we are ever married then it will become both of our problem.

    i knew he was in debt but i didnt know how bad until today when i finally got it out of him.......40k+.... and he is losing his BAH therefore taking a pay cut and then going to go into even more debt.

    he wants a quick fix and for me to marry him the day he gets back and i cant do that. i wont do that.

    i feel helpless cause i cant give him what he wants/needs...

    did any of yall have to deal with this... idk what i am asking... i just feel so.. alone almost.
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    #2
    I don't have any advice! I'm sorry!
    We're the opposite because I'm the one in debt
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    #3
    i really dont think its the debt thing that is bothering me but that he keeps bring up getting married. im all for a long engagment. but i cant get married.
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    #4
  5. Taking things one day at a time
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    #5
    Is he deployed? If so, hopefully he is saving up that money and some of it can go toward his debt. I would encourage him to look at his spending and decide where he can cut down. Every little bit he can put toward that debt is good. Start with the stuff with the highest interest and go from there. Maybe there is a financial counselor on basehe could talk to as well
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    #6
    whats BAH?

    I am in a bit of debt too- but not so much as that... I guess you just need to take responsibility for it.

    I know if my DB wanted to get married- which is so unlikely right now- that I would want to have ALL my debt paid off first so we could start with a clean slate and my problems wouldnt become his.

    Perhaps explain that to him? Perhaps he can talk to a financial adviser about stragies to get out of debt?
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    #7
    I totally understand what you mean being in a debt is a BIG deal and it can be a realtionship breaker. You should really talk to him in creating a plan on how to wipe off that debt. When I first moved out with my db I had no idea he was in debt we had to get our apt under my name cause his credit score was so bad. He's deployed at the moment and i've cleared up half of his debt and our plan is to have it all cleared up b4 he gets back!
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    #8
    BAH is housing in the military.... I don't have any advice just lots of for you! Talk to your DB about how you feel and explain why, hopefully he understands!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rainbow Brite View Post
    There needs to be a blowing rainbows, sunshine, butterflies, and happiness up an asshole smiley.
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    #9
    my husband and i are the opposite..he has perfect credit and no debt..and well...i have a little bit of debt, but not 40k thats just crazy.

    I wish i had advice for you but i dont...I dont think you should make his debt your problem =/
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    #10
    I don't know what to tell you, other than he CAN pull out of that. DB was very open with me early in our relationship about paying off his ex-wife's debt and it was A LOT, more than twice as much as your DBs.... but he stuck to a plan and became debt-free. He had his goal to be debt free and stuck to his plan and paid it all off!

    I hope you two will be able to work something out that you are comfortable with, but look very closely at possible patterns..... After spending so much time with DB, I see that our spending habits are similar and our saving habits are similar..... but it took me a very long time to meet someone like that.
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