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Thread: It's been a little awkward...

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    #1

    It's been a little awkward...

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    since hub and I took a break. There isn't anymore friction between us, because since we don't live together, and barely saw each other before his tdy (we will see each other a bit after tdy) he hasn't been shy about his feelings. It's like how he used to be when we started dating. And that is what I want. I don't have to have it all. And be swept off my feet on a date and yadda yadda like a starting out couple would do, but I want all the things back that make a relationship. So, here's what has happened since October...

    I moved out of the home, put my stuff in storage. My daughter and I went to NC and just visited family. But hub (I don't quite call him dh yet) thought I was there for weeks. But I can't that much time away. I told my work I was having family issues, and to handle things, I needed to go home. And dd's school gives up to 2 wks for a child to be absent if notified. She's in preschool so it was different.

    I came back after one week, and moved in with a coworker. She has kids as well so dd has lots of people to play with. We get our own room. I pay her to stay there, as well as buy my own stuff. And she is willing to let me stay as long as I need, which will be when I feel ready to go back and live with him, or get on with it all.

    We did go on one date a few days before he left for tdy. Just caught a movie. And I took him to the airport. But that's pretty much all I saw of him. Now I'm staying in the house while he is gone, because my pets are here, and I can't take them to my friend's house because she has dogs. I'm usually just there at night and some weekends because my friend's dh is about to go work the north slope for two months. And he takes off in about a week. That gave them some alone time.

    Sorry this is long, and if you read it all, thanks! I'm trying to get things on track. I really do love him, but it needs to take 2 to work. I'm hoping he keeps seeing this. We really have started from the beginning. He has to ask me out. There is no sex. He doesn't get all of me until I get his heart. He has called everyday of his tdy. And mailed a few cards to the house.

    OH, I'm also going to counseling. And when he gets back, he is going to join with me. That really made a big impression on me, because he HATES to be judged. Hates it! It's literally an issue in his life. So we will be seeing and communicating with a therapist on our relationship and seeing where improvement can be made, and how to go about it.

    Ok, I'm done. Sorry it was a novel...
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    #2
    Sounds like things are moving in the right direction! I hope things continue to get better!
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    #3
    Glad you guys are working on your relationship! I hope it continues to work out.

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    #4
    Sounds like you two are on the right track, all the best for the future

    "You are platinum in a world gone grey."
  5. cuz i'm wonderful
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    #5
    That sounds like very good progress & you have a very healthy and centered outlook. I wish I could be so grounded.

    I hope things continue to go well for you
  6. Looking for the sunshine...
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    #6
    I'm so relieved and happy for you. This is positive progress! Good for you!
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Jayo View Post
    I'm so relieved and happy for you. This is positive progress! Good for you!

    Thanks! And thanks to everyone else. It's hard to just walk away from someone you love, to see if it will work out. And right now it could go either way. But at least I am mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared. It took me going through some of my threads on here, and a few journal entries to see that I wasn't in a good place. And things can change. It doesn't have to be over. But it can be over. And working two jobs keeps me busy enough! And he takes me seriously now.

    He really needs help for himself. He was abused. So instead of being a physical abuser, he was more emotionally abusive. And he sees people criticizing him too much when they don't. He is extremely passive. He thought just having a difference of opinion and disagreeing was fighting. I tried to tell him the difference between the two. He doesn't notice. I just hope that when he goes, he sees that counseling is good. That's where it could get tough.

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