Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: "A New Reason He Won't Ask You Out"

  1. Senior Member
    KickDrumHeart's Avatar
    KickDrumHeart is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    7,778
    #1

    "A New Reason He Won't Ask You Out"

    Advertisements
    Guys Who Don't Ask Girls Out

    "A woman's work is never done, is it? Now we can add asking men out to the list of things we're "expected" to do.

    A trend piece in Minneapolis Star-Tribune seems archaic at first, introducing the topic as if it were outlandish. "Not long ago, the idea that women might be the ones to make the moves would have been considered improper."

    But women aren't just starting to ask men out, they are catching up with Spanish women by making the first move more often than men. Susanne Jones, a communication studies professor at the University of Minnesota, confirmed women asking men out is now the norm, so much that guys are starting to expect it. As in, wait for you, or assume you don't like them if you don't.

    The article goes on to credit women's newfound confidence, their rise in the workplace, and generalized feminism for the new dating order, yet the consensus relies on old-fashioned male bashing. They're terrible at it, women say, coming off as creepy, desperate, or arrogant.

    But isn't it a given that men who gratuitously hit on women (i.e. the ones most likely to make a move on you) are inherently creepy? Maybe the problem isn't that men can't hit on women, but that those least shy about doing so are a certain type? Whatever the reason, I say the guys we want to date are not going to drop some slick line at the bar. After all, that would be creepy."


    Personally, I don't LIKE to be the one to make the first move. I feel like if I guy wants to go out with me, he will ask me out. So, if I'm the one that asks him out, I feel desperate. I think it's great for a woman to have the confidence to ask a man out, and I believe guys do to, but should it lead to her making the first move?

    What do y'all think?
    Camster is the best wifey ever
  2. Switzerland
    misskrissyo's Avatar
    misskrissyo is offline
    Switzerland
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    10,251
    #2
    If a woman wants to make the first move then go for it. If not then don't.

    According to this K and I are old fashioned. He asked me out. I liked him a lot but never would have. And since K is ridiculously shy, it means he must have liked me a lot to do it.
  3. Senior Member
    foreverandalways's Avatar
    foreverandalways is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    8,256
    #3
    If I hadn't taken action and told DF how I felt about him then we wouldn't be where we're at today.
  4. life is like a box of chocolates...
    mandy_may's Avatar
    mandy_may is offline
    life is like a box of chocolates...
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    me - Cali him - across the world from me
    Posts
    3,514
    #4
    there is nothing wrong at all with women asking out men, but i'm old fashioned. i don't ask guys out, it's just not something i feel comfortable doing. luckily E is the type that goes after what he wants and luckily he wanted me!
    if you can find a path with no obstacles, then it probably doesn't lead anywhere....


    i love me some RED HOT!!

    vice president of ILLCARDC
  5. Senior Member
    Southern-queen's Avatar
    Southern-queen is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    35,924
    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by rds1036 View Post
    Guys Who Don't Ask Girls Out

    "A woman's work is never done, is it? Now we can add asking men out to the list of things we're "expected" to do.

    A trend piece in Minneapolis Star-Tribune seems archaic at first, introducing the topic as if it were outlandish. "Not long ago, the idea that women might be the ones to make the moves would have been considered improper."

    But women aren't just starting to ask men out, they are catching up with Spanish women by making the first move more often than men. Susanne Jones, a communication studies professor at the University of Minnesota, confirmed women asking men out is now the norm, so much that guys are starting to expect it. As in, wait for you, or assume you don't like them if you don't.

    The article goes on to credit women's newfound confidence, their rise in the workplace, and generalized feminism for the new dating order, yet the consensus relies on old-fashioned male bashing. They're terrible at it, women say, coming off as creepy, desperate, or arrogant.

    But isn't it a given that men who gratuitously hit on women (i.e. the ones most likely to make a move on you) are inherently creepy? Maybe the problem isn't that men can't hit on women, but that those least shy about doing so are a certain type? Whatever the reason, I say the guys we want to date are not going to drop some slick line at the bar. After all, that would be creepy."


    Personally, I don't LIKE to be the one to make the first move. I feel like if I guy wants to go out with me, he will ask me out. So, if I'm the one that asks him out, I feel desperate. I think it's great for a woman to have the confidence to ask a man out, and I believe guys do to, but should it lead to her making the first move?

    What do y'all think?
    I think if there is a guy you like why not "hit on them" or ask them out. Why wait for the guy? What if the guy doesn't know? What if the guy likes you but doesn't realize you like him? Why does it have to be the man's job.

    You shouldn't feel desperate, but secure in the fact you go after what you want.
  6. Senior Member
    cassadilla's Avatar
    cassadilla is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    17,907
    #6
    i'm old fashion with this kind of stuff and i think the guy should make the first move
  7. Senior Member
    KickDrumHeart's Avatar
    KickDrumHeart is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    7,778
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by cassieee View Post
    i'm old fashion with this kind of stuff and i think the guy should make the first move
    Yeah.. I mean, if the guy won't ask me out.. he either doesn't like me enough, or is too shy. And I like outgoing guys
    Camster is the best wifey ever
  8. Senior Member
    KickDrumHeart's Avatar
    KickDrumHeart is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    7,778
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Southern-momma View Post
    I think if there is a guy you like why not "hit on them" or ask them out. Why wait for the guy? What if the guy doesn't know? What if the guy likes you but doesn't realize you like him? Why does it have to be the man's job.

    You shouldn't feel desperate, but secure in the fact you go after what you want.
    I am a total flirt.. if a guy shows any interest in me, and I like him, I will definitely hint that I like him back. I don't want to be the one that does the asking out though. I guess I got that idea from that movie "He's Just Not That Into You" ; Justin Long tells the girl that if a guy likes her, he will ask her out. Movies mess up our lives, I swear
    Camster is the best wifey ever
  9. Free!
    Boneslady's Avatar
    Boneslady is offline
    Free!
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    The Ohio tri-state area
    Posts
    5,495
    #9
    I grew up around women who are very forward and uhh open I guess is the word so I always got the "if you like him ask. The worst he can say is no." I don't mind doing it I just want balance.
  10. Senior Member
    Guynavywife's Avatar
    Guynavywife is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    19,312
    Blog Entries
    2
    #10
    Why SHOULDN'T a woman ask the man out?
    Or make a first move. An obvious move by the way. the "Bend and Snap" doesn't work as well as "Hi, I am ..."
    Women say they hate games, but they insist on playing them anyways.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •