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Thread: Trouble in paradise?

  1. ARMY WIFE forever his <3
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    Trouble in paradise?

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    Im not so sure what to do or say right now. But I will say first off, that I know I should have not been snooping. But I did, and now I feel sick.

    DH was not in bed this morning when I woke up, but his phone was on the bed next to me, so I decided I was gonna check his phone out. There was no reason to, we don't have any troubles anymore, and things have been going great. Like last night for example, we had a great night. We stayed up late talking and he even painted my toenails.

    Buuuut, when I checked his phone, I saw that he had 200+ messages between him and a girl I will call "C". I looked, and I definaly don't feel comforatable with what I read. Nothing was really shouting "HES A CHEATER" in the texts, but it was things like, when do you get out of work? Can I come see you? I will if I can get away with it. Can I give you more than a backrub tonight? I love seeing you squirm.

    Those type of things. I'm sick to my stomach. I had to type this out and see what you girls think. He is in the bathroom right now, and I am calmed down enough to have a talk with him and not a screaming match.

    I hope this goes well. I want our marriage to be okay. I want it to be great. I love him more than anything, and he is my bestfriend. I hope we can talk this through, and if all goes well, have him stop having communication with her. And hopefully be able to figure out what he was getting out of their relationship, and what he wasn't getting out of ours.

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    Ummmm no offense love...But to me...That screams cheater. But then again everyone has a different opinion of what cheating is. To me if he is even TALKING about doing something with another woman, touching her, being alone with her in the sense that he must SNEEK to do it...that is cheating.

    I am so sorry you had to find that. I know those types of things can be difficult to see (been there). But this is your husband...not some boyfriend. He took vows and so did you. That's not okay. I really hope he man's up to what he did.


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    Yikes, OP I'm sorry. Obviously after snooping, you feel bad about having done it, but it's done. I'd definitely talk to him about what you read, I absolutely would not be okay with those types of messages. I hope everything goes okay between you two, it seems like you know what you want to come of the conversation.
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    Wow.. well those texts seem a little more than "just friends" texts. I would talk to him about it, definitely. Let him know how much you care about him and it hurts you to see him talk to another girl this way. Good luck girl, let us know how it goes!
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    Thats a great way to put it, that it is "more than just friends kind of texts".
    I think I could over come this at some point, if he wants and trys to fix what apparently is broken with us.

    What I am worried about in this whole situation is if he actually has slept with her, then I am not so sure I could get over that.
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    #6
    I would talk to him. Those are definitely more than just friends texts and not appropriate.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erinnicole401 View Post
    Ummmm no offense love...But to me...That screams cheater. But then again everyone has a different opinion of what cheating is. To me if he is even TALKING about doing something with another woman, touching her, being alone with her in the sense that he must SNEEK to do it...that is cheating.

    I am so sorry you had to find that. I know those types of things can be difficult to see (been there). But this is your husband...not some boyfriend. He took vows and so did you. That's not okay. I really hope he man's up to what he did.


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    Thank you so much.


    Quote Originally Posted by MissOptimistic View Post
    Yikes, OP I'm sorry. Obviously after snooping, you feel bad about having done it, but it's done. I'd definitely talk to him about what you read, I absolutely would not be okay with those types of messages. I hope everything goes okay between you two, it seems like you know what you want to come of the conversation.
    Thank you. I do feel bad about the snooping, and I know he will feel betrayed by me doing that. But, afterall, he did do something wrong. I'm just positive he will be shoving that fact in my face, you know? I just hope he will concentrate at the problem at hand, and then deal with the snooping thing at a later time, KWIM?
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    Quote Originally Posted by ImJustMe21 View Post
    Thats a great way to put it, that it is "more than just friends kind of texts".
    I think I could over come this at some point, if he wants and trys to fix what apparently is broken with us.

    What I am worried about in this whole situation is if he actually has slept with her, then I am not so sure I could get over that.
    from the sound of it, i don't know if he actually slept with her only because it says "can i do more than a back rub tonight" but that still indicates that he was touching this woman and he was planning to do whatever he could get away with and sneak around behind your back for another woman.

    I probably sound like a hypocrit because I stayed with my DB after he sent a FB message to a girl similar to this (but it was once and he didnt ever go) But you are BEAUTIFUL and you seem so sweet and I cannot believe your HUSBAND is disrespecting you like this.

    When my DB did this to me, I told him he should be LUCKY to be with a girl like me and he doesn't even deserve to have my love and support because he clearly doesn't respect me. I think your husband might need a similar chat. He clearly thinks he's above the rules of marriage
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    Quote Originally Posted by ImJustMe21 View Post
    Thank you. I do feel bad about the snooping, and I know he will feel betrayed by me doing that. But, afterall, he did do something wrong. I'm just positive he will be shoving that fact in my face, you know? I just hope he will concentrate at the problem at hand, and then deal with the snooping thing at a later time, KWIM?
    Yeah, though snooping isn't a good thing.. he would just be deflecting the problem if he concentrated on that right now. Tell him you're sorry for looking, but there are obviously a few things that you both need to work on in the relationship. Starting with these texts...
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    Quote Originally Posted by rds1036 View Post
    Yeah, though snooping isn't a good thing.. he would just be deflecting the problem if he concentrated on that right now. Tell him you're sorry for looking, but there are obviously a few things that you both need to work on in the relationship. Starting with these texts...


    I felt bad for snooping too. I told him I know I shouldn't have done it but I'm damn glad I did because I was being played for a fool and I clearly had a reason not to trust him.
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