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Thread: DB says he's not good for me?

  1. marinegf19
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    #1

    DB says he's not good for me?

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    ok so DB has been at his job school for 6 weeks (comes home next week) and i can tell its starting to get to him. we had a very intense conversation today about how he thinks that he is going to die in his first deployment (maybe starting feb) because he has one of the most dangerous jobs in the USMC and he doesnt want me to go through that. he says he's not afraid of dying but he's afraid of leaving me alone. he said that he was actually planning on suprising me and us getting engaged and married ("lets just put it this way. you would be coming home with a new last name") while we visited my family in MI for christmas but now he says i'm going to have to wait a bit longer because "i wont make you suffer loosing me then becoming a widow before you turn 20" is there anyway that you all can think of that i can make him start thinking positive again and not thinking he's going to die in combat. i already have told him that no matter what he says he will never scare me away because he's the love of my life and i'm going to spend the rest of our lives together. this conversation has worn me out today though.
    ~Felicia~
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    #2
    DB has said something like this to me before.

    You just got to make it clear to him that you are not going anywhere. Tell him you would rather be a widow knowing you were married to the most AMAZING man ever, than never getting to be with him. I know this is tough, and by looking at your siggy, I'm guessing he is new to the USMC??? This is a tough transition for these guys. They aren't used to being told that there's a chance they could be killed. But eventually he will get over this and understand you can't just quit your life because of it.

    I hope everything works out with you guys.
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    I am not sure what to tell you. Some things I'm thinking would probably come out wrong, so I will just say I am sorry you are going through this. I haven't experienced DF pull away like that before deployments. Maybe some other ladies can help you with that. If you need to talk anything out feel free to PM me anytime... once again... I know it has to be hard on you to hear him being so negative.
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    see thats the thing though is that he has always knew that he was going to be a marine. and he knew what it intitled but i dont think maybe he didnt realize how dangerous his job would be. idk
    ~Felicia~
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Erinnicole401 View Post
    DB has said something like this to me before.

    You just got to make it clear to him that you are not going anywhere. Tell him you would rather be a widow knowing you were married to the most AMAZING man ever, than never getting to be with him. I know this is tough, and by looking at your siggy, I'm guessing he is new to the USMC??? This is a tough transition for these guys. They aren't used to being told that there's a chance they could be killed. But eventually he will get over this and understand you can't just quit your life because of it.

    I hope everything works out with you guys.
    ditto....and you may have to show him you're not going anywhere. This maybe deeper, he may also have heard about some of his fellow Marines about being cheated on or getting a dear john letter via email or voicemail. He may be protecting himself, and he might be protecting you.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by marinegf19 View Post
    see thats the thing though is that he has always knew that he was going to be a marine. and he knew what it intitled but i dont think maybe he didnt realize how dangerous his job would be. idk
    Everyone thinks though that they know what they are getting into, but you never really know until it becomes a reality. Hang in there love
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by marinegf19 View Post
    see thats the thing though is that he has always knew that he was going to be a marine. and he knew what it intitled but i dont think maybe he didnt realize how dangerous his job would be. idk
    Well, like a PP said, I'm sure his higher-ups are stressing the possibility because they want them to know to take their job seriously... maybe he just needs to let it all soak in through this rollercoaster of emotions he is having and things will work out. Sorry, it is a rough time for you!!
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    #8
    All I can do is offer you hugs, and maybe once he see's you some of those thoughts will go away.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Frybread View Post
    ditto....and you may have to show him you're not going anywhere. This maybe deeper, he may also have heard about some of his fellow Marines about being cheated on or getting a dear john letter via email or voicemail. He may be protecting himself, and he might be protecting you.
    YES! omg. My DB, when we talk about him maybe getting deployed, always mentions how So and So in his unit's wife left him with nothing when he came back and blah blah blah.

    I'm telling you, he is just spooked about it I think. You just need to make sure he knows you are by his side.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Erinnicole401 View Post
    DB has said something like this to me before.

    You just got to make it clear to him that you are not going anywhere. Tell him you would rather be a widow knowing you were married to the most AMAZING man ever, than never getting to be with him. I know this is tough, and by looking at your siggy, I'm guessing he is new to the USMC??? This is a tough transition for these guys. They aren't used to being told that there's a chance they could be killed. But eventually he will get over this and understand you can't just quit your life because of it.

    I hope everything works out with you guys.
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