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Thread: EX wife?

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    #1

    EX wife?

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    I was looking at dh's facebook... and he has 10 of his EX wifes family members on his facebook. I am just, i am not sure how to feel about it.
    I am a little uneasy with it all.
    Not too long ago, we were hanging out on the couch playing call of duty, and his ex wife called. And asked him if he was single (it was before we got married... but still)

    Am I just being overly unsecure not being comfortable having his ex wife's family still on his friends list, and still talking to him?
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    #2
    My ex-husband's family is full of trashy, classless, horrible, rude selfish people. They're all nasty sour apples that fell from the same decrepit, haunted tree, contracted worms and rotted. I would never associate with any of them ever again by choice.

    However, my ex-fiance's family are wonderful, amazing, hilarious, loving, charitable giving people with whom I am still very close. I have three of his brothers, two of his sisters-in-law, his sister and his mom as friends on my Facebook. I've never seen it as a big deal.

    I dunno, I guess it depends on what his relationship is like with them. It wouldn't bother me, but we're not the same person so I can't tell you if it should bother you.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by TanaBear View Post
    I was looking at dh's facebook... and he has 10 of his EX wifes family members on his facebook. I am just, i am not sure how to feel about it.
    I am a little uneasy with it all.
    Not too long ago, we were hanging out on the couch playing call of duty, and his ex wife called. And asked him if he was single (it was before we got married... but still)

    Am I just being overly unsecure not being comfortable having his ex wife's family still on his friends list, and still talking to him?
    Do you know that they are talking to him? I have quite a few friends on facebook that I don't even talk to anymore that I just never got around to deleting. You might be worrying over nothing. I would just talk to him about your feelings and see what he says.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by nightingail View Post
    Do you know that they are talking to him? I have quite a few friends on facebook that I don't even talk to anymore that I just never got around to deleting. You might be worrying over nothing. I would just talk to him about your feelings and see what he says.
    they post on his wall, they comment on his status updates in a different language.
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    #5
    I agree with Loving, I think its going to depend on the relationship he has with them.

    I still have my ex's (fiance, not DH) mom on my FB and I still talk to her pretty often, as well as his sister... even though I dont talk to him. Pretty much all of our conversations have nothing to do with my ex. We will talk about how they are doing, they will ask me how I am doing, how my DH is, and so on.

    What are you worried about as far as them being on his FB?
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by His*PITA* View Post
    I agree with Loving, I think its going to depend on the relationship he has with them.

    I still have my ex's (fiance, not DH) mom on my FB and I still talk to her pretty often, as well as his sister... even though I dont talk to him. Pretty much all of our conversations have nothing to do with my ex. We will talk about how they are doing, they will ask me how I am doing, how my DH is, and so on.

    What are you worried about as far as them being on his FB?
    I am not really sure. it just makes me realllly uneasy.
    I just, I hate anything to do with her.
    Since the airforce had some issue with their divorce, he still has to keep a copy of their divorce papers. And knowing I have stuff with her name on it, and stuff that use to belong to her in my house makes me feel...
    Like less of a wife.

    I know, it makes no sense I dont even understand it. I think it is just hormones talkin
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    #7
    I have my ex BIL and his family on my Facebook.he contacted me and said he& his wife still feel I'll always be part of the family. It made me cry! I'm sure ex DH is pissed, but oh well. His girls still call me Aunt Robin. i thought it was sweet. I also have the ex's cousins (a few) on there too. I don't think it's a big deal.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by TanaBear View Post
    I am not really sure. it just makes me realllly uneasy.
    I just, I hate anything to do with her.
    Since the airforce had some issue with their divorce, he still has to keep a copy of their divorce papers. And knowing I have stuff with her name on it, and stuff that use to belong to her in my house makes me feel...
    Like less of a wife.

    I know, it makes no sense I dont even understand it. I think it is just hormones talkin
    He should keep a copy of their divorce papers anyway, just because it's a good thing to keep around. I wouldn't want to lose legal documents that concerned me.

    I think you're young and got married quickly. Your relationship is still new, so you are insecure about a lot of things. I had some of the same issues when K and I first moved in together. I was 20, he had been previously married, and I didn't like that we were eating off his skanky ex-wife's dishes.

    Looking back, I was being utterly ridiculous, but at the time I was uncomfortable with it. He divorced her. He married you, and you are having his baby. Don't stress over things that don't matter. Who he is friends with on facebook shouldn't matter.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleRed View Post
    He should keep a copy of their divorce papers anyway, just because it's a good thing to keep around. I wouldn't want to lose legal documents that concerned me.

    I think you're young and got married quickly. Your relationship is still new, so you are insecure about a lot of things. I had some of the same issues when K and I first moved in together. I was 20, he had been previously married, and I didn't like that we were eating off his skanky ex-wife's dishes.

    Looking back, I was being utterly ridiculous, but at the time I was uncomfortable with it. He divorced her. He married you, and you are having his baby. Don't stress over things that don't matter. Who he is friends with on facebook shouldn't matter.
    Thank you.
    I guess, I know i am being rediculous... I just refuse to face it.
    Mainly it is because it was her that ended it, and he wanted to work it out. And I guess I just kinda feel like with so much related to her still around, that he might still wanna be there and not here....

    Some days it feels like he married me just because of the baby... I know its untrue, but it still feels that way.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by TanaBear View Post
    I am not really sure. it just makes me realllly uneasy.
    I just, I hate anything to do with her.
    Since the airforce had some issue with their divorce, he still has to keep a copy of their divorce papers. And knowing I have stuff with her name on it, and stuff that use to belong to her in my house makes me feel...
    Like less of a wife.

    I know, it makes no sense I dont even understand it. I think it is just hormones talkin
    you are NOT in anyway shape or form less of a wife because your DH has ex paperwork laying around.

    As for the info, I can understand if it was a bitter and ugly divorce that you want nothing to do with her or anything involving her, but thats her, not her family (unless they got involved and were mean, harsh, rude, whatever to you). If the family got involved or has done wrong towards you, then yea I would express your concerns to your DH and talk to him about it because keeping people toxic to your marriage around is good for no one.

    Now if they have been civil and what not, then I dont think you have much to worry or stress about. I get being upset by the connection to the ex, but IMO you have to understand that these people were still a part of his life and he has a relationship with them separate from his ex.

    Thats just my two cents though, I dont know the history of the situation so its hard for me to weigh in to much on it KWIM?
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