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Thread: I think I screwed up :/

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    #1

    Duh I think I screwed up :/

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    I've been casualy dating a guy for about a month. Once a week or so. Last time I was at his house, we were in the middle of making out and I just outright asked him if he's leading me on. He said he doesn't know and I got up and nearly walked out, but I asked him what he thinks leading on is, and he told me he doesn't know all my sides and isn't sure about burning his son, etc.

    We kissed when I left and he flirted with me in class the next day, but I'm a little nervous of whether or not I scared him away....

    I don't see him until Tuesday
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    #2
    I don't think you screwed up. You asked a simple question as a way of protecting yourself from getting hurt. I probably would have (actually have) done the same thing.
    I hope everything works out. You probably really like him to ask him if he's leading you on. I know I wouldn't ask unless I really liked the person.
    "I know you better than anyone else and I accept you for who you are and treat you with respect. I noticed you from your strengths but stayed with you because of your faults."
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by dancerdixy View Post
    I've been casualy dating a guy for about a month. Once a week or so. Last time I was at his house, we were in the middle of making out and I just outright asked him if he's leading me on. He said he doesn't know and I got up and nearly walked out, but I asked him what he thinks leading on is, and he told me he doesn't know all my sides and isn't sure about burning his son, etc.

    We kissed when I left and he flirted with me in class the next day, but I'm a little nervous of whether or not I scared him away....

    I don't see him until Tuesday
    Burning his son?! What does that mean?
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Songtan Sally View Post
    Burning his son?! What does that mean?
    Oh thank goodness I am not the only one wondering that...

    BiggyBiggs...the Wifey that makes me go "WoW"
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    #5
    Burning his son sounds to me like he doesn't know her very well yet and isn't sure that he should introduce her to his son, in case his son gets attached to her and they end up breaking up later on. It is a really weird way to put it though.

    But it doesn't sound like a mistake, it's ok to have honest talks about where the relationship is going, and he gave you an honest answer (though he was really strange about it). He's not sure yet if he wants to get serious with you and wants to get to know you better before he makes a commitment is what it I think he was trying to say.

    You've been dating a month but only see each other once a week, so you've been on about four dates? That's REALLY early into the relationship so I think it's perfectly normal that he doesn't know if he wants to make a commitment yet. But definitely time to start thinking about it.
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    #6
    You have every right to know where a relationship is going. If it scares him away, then it's not meant to be. Simple as that.
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    #7
    "You've been dating a month but only see each other once a week, so you've been on about four dates? That's REALLY early into the relationship so I think it's perfectly normal that he doesn't know if he wants to make a commitment yet. But definitely time to start thinking about it."

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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by MyMarineLovesMe View Post
    "You've been dating a month but only see each other once a week, so you've been on about four dates? That's REALLY early into the relationship so I think it's perfectly normal that he doesn't know if he wants to make a commitment yet. But definitely time to start thinking about it."

    i agree with the bolded, but I don't think its time to start until he actually says "let's start to talk". He may be jaded with past relationships and HE may need to take it SLOW. You'll have to decide if you want something NOW and SOLID to either wait it out for him to come to to conclusion that he wants to settle down with you or if you can't handle it, leave. But if he's not ready, you shouldn't force it. If you do, either he'll scram or he'll be resentful
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    But it doesn't sound like a mistake, it's ok to have honest talks about where the relationship is going, and he gave you an honest answer (though he was really strange about it). He's not sure yet if he wants to get serious with you and wants to get to know you better before he makes a commitment is what it I think he was trying to say.

    You've been dating a month but only see each other once a week, so you've been on about four dates? That's REALLY early into the relationship so I think it's perfectly normal that he doesn't know if he wants to make a commitment yet. But definitely time to start thinking about it.
    I think it has to do with almost every time I have free and he has free, he has had his son, who btw looks exactly like him I think not having the time to go out and meet his friends or have my friends meet him makes it harder.
    I'm just so not used to anyone taking it slow, I usually jump in feet first and get hurt as you guys know.
    If I didn't scare him away, he was going to go to my friend's halloween party, so he'd meet my scary people :p

    Quote Originally Posted by Halz.503 View Post
    You have every right to know where a relationship is going. If it scares him away, then it's not meant to be. Simple as that.
    true :/
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    #10
    A month in, and given that he hasn't given you reason to think he's leading you on, then I don't think you made a mistake but you probably took him by suprise. But it's all relative to the relationship...I mean if you guys are getting serious that quickly then it may have been timed well. If you're taking it slow, which is sounds like you are, then he may think it's too soon to be putting a "title" on the relationship.


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