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Thread: How do you do it?

  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    Help How do you do it?

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    DH is deployed right now and the first month was ok. But this past week I just can't stop crying. It probably doesn't help that he said to not expect to hear from him for 2-3 weeks.

    Ok here's my problem:

    I'm just worried about our marriage. Not because of anything in our control. We got married in November and he moved to Japan that same month. I visited for 2 weeks in December and then went back to Texas to wait for our command sponsorship and finish grad school. I finally moved out here in June. We had 2 months together before he left on this deployment. He will get back in December. but...it's not over. They will be deploying again in May. This time for longer.

    So my question is how do you do it? How do you keep going? How does a marriage endure so many separations so early on? I guess I just need reassurance or advice on how we can stay strong. His job doesn't allow for very much communication when he's gone so it's hard to keep connected.

    Just to clarify. I'm not planning on leaving him. I'm madly in love with this man. I just want to know how to cope better or what we can do to keep our bond strong. I'm just falling into a downward spiral knowing that when he comes home he'll just turn around to leave again.

    Please help!!
  2. Am
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    You wallow in the nights that you feel like this to let it out. When you're done, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and find something to keep you going. Other than that and staying busy, no one really knows. You just push through and remember that this isn't permanent.

    December is SO close!
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    #3
    You can do this. Your love is strong.

    I wish I had more advice. I am just telling you what I tell myself.

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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Am View Post
    You wallow in the nights that you feel like this to let it out. When you're done, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and find something to keep you going. Other than that and staying busy, no one really knows. You just push through and remember that this isn't permanent.

    December is SO close!
    Thanks If it were just making it to December I would be ok. It's just knowing that he'll leave again in May (and have month long trainings before that) that is bogging me down. It's like there's no end in sight.
  5. Am
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmyMR View Post
    Thanks If it were just making it to December I would be ok. It's just knowing that he'll leave again in May (and have month long trainings before that) that is bogging me down. It's like there's no end in sight.
    Take it one step at a time and take full advantage of the time you do have.
  6. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
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    Quote Originally Posted by Am View Post
    You wallow in the nights that you feel like this to let it out. When you're done, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and find something to keep you going. Other than that and staying busy, no one really knows. You just push through and remember that this isn't permanent.

    December is SO close!
    Yep!!!! TO THIS. I'm with you. We got married Sep 08 he deployed 2 weeks later for 5 months, came back for 3, deployed for 3, back for 6 and now we are on our 3rd and this one is 7 months. It sucks but your marriage is what you make it and you loved one another enough to get married and you can make it through this!

    YOU CAN DO IT!

    For me I am a firm believer in I control my feelings and I will only be miserable if I allow myself to be. I prefer to be upbeat and positive, it certainly makes time go faster.





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
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    #7
    Stay strong! You can and will get through this December really is right around the corner

    I'm always here if ya just need to talk
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    I can understand your concerns and all i can say is what i try to remind myself of.
    It may seem like there is no end in site but think of it in terms of a lifetime together and having each others love, support and understanding and these few years don't seem so long.
    It wont last forever and if the two of you can make it through this you can make it through anything life can hand you.
    hang in there one day at a time and keep reminding yourself of the sweet things things he does for you the way he makes you feel when you two are together and maybe it wont feel so scary.







    Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change
    Survived deployment one in one piece, working on #2
  9. life is like a box of chocolates...
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    #9
    you just gotta take things as they come and just know that you love each other enough to get through the hard times. like amber said, you cry it out and then you pick up and keep going. you will find that you are stronger than you think. i thought dealing with deployment would kill me, but we are making it happen, so i know you can too!! communicate as much as possible. i know there will be extended times where he can't contact you, but you can always write down things you want to tell him/ask him in letters or a journal or something. just letting each other know how much you care is a reminder about why it's worth dealing with things like this. hang in there and we are here for you!
    if you can find a path with no obstacles, then it probably doesn't lead anywhere....


    i love me some RED HOT!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Solstice View Post
    Yep!!!! TO THIS. I'm with you. We got married Sep 08 he deployed 2 weeks later for 5 months, came back for 3, deployed for 3, back for 6 and now we are on our 3rd and this one is 7 months. It sucks but your marriage is what you make it and you loved one another enough to get married and you can make it through this!

    YOU CAN DO IT!

    For me I am a firm believer in I control my feelings and I will only be miserable if I allow myself to be. I prefer to be upbeat and positive, it certainly makes time go faster.
    Thanks for your input. I just need to hear that we can make it and we will be ok. I know in my heart that we are strong and will be ok. I guess it just gets really overwhelming at times.
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