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Thread: Small update on "us" right now.

  1. The Decider
    Brianna Banana's Avatar
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    #1

    Small update on "us" right now.

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    Kyle moved out Tuesday the 7th, so almost two weeks ago now, though much/most of his stuff is still here. I have been trying to get him to move it (having oodles of boxes in my dining area is overwhelming), and he started getting pretty upset - saying he thought we were still together, that I needed to stop treating him like a former roommate, etc.

    So last Thursday, I was talking to the wonderful Ms. Raena () who suggested an actual, organized break. Time for us to get our thoughts together on our own, decide where we were happier, and proceed from there. I sent him an email, told him I have let him know what I need out of a relationship, and I haven't gotten it. That actions speak louder than words and he can talk the talk, but until he walks the walk, I'm not interested. In place of an email response that evening, he said he was going to take a shower and come over so we could talk about it.

    The short version is that he said he doesn't want a break. That he recognizes he has treated me poorly, recognizes changes need to be made, and we discussed how to proceed. Both of us will be more vocal about our needs from now on, and though he is going to continue to live elsewhere (I'm closing on a house, so he would have to move eventually anyway), we will go on at least one date per week. He mentioned that he knows he hasn't given me the respect I deserve, and that will change.

    Today, he got his compensation award letter in the mail from the VA. He has been talking about spending Christmas in Vermont at his brother's house, which would make three families plus the parents there. He hadn't said anything about me going, though, so we had that discussion today, and talked about him using the extra he'll be getting in compensation on a ticket for me instead of for gadgets for his motorcycle, as he originally planned. So I may be spending this Christmas with his family, after all. (Convenient that the conversation with his mother, where she told me I was unwelcome in her home happened 10 days ago. It should be a blast.)

    I have not suggested it yet, but I do plan on going back to counseling to work more on the "process" of discussion rather than argument, and to get some help on some of the larger issues that have been tough for us to work through on our own. (Namely the "best friend.")

    So that's where we are at right now. We hung out for a little bit Friday. He came over and watched a movie on Saturday, and then made me dinner and stayed the night last night. (And no, I didn't put out. ) I met the girlfriend that lives in the house he's staying at when I picked him up on Friday, and she mentioned wanting to go out on a triple date, so that's a good indication he's at least not disrespecting me there. So I think we're all going out next Wednesday night to The Melting Pot.

    Things might change, and I might hate his guts again in two weeks. But for the time being, he appears to be trying.
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  2. One Day At A Time...
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    #2
    Good for him for at least trying. I totally think that you are doing the right thing by living apart and taking it slow-- if will give you the opportunity to keep your head clear and really work on what you want.

    I really do hope it works out for you. I admire your strength and determination.
  3. Senior Member
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    #3
    I'm glad you all are trying to work it out. And thats awesome that he's putting in the effort.

    I hope everything turns out how you want it to and that this separation from each other will help your relationship grow and strengthen
  4. I'm still Jennie from the block....
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    #4
    I'm happy to hear he is making an effort for you. You deserve it! Just make sure he proves to you he means what he says. Take it slow & enjoy the getting to know each other again! Just as long as you happy, that's what is important chicky


  5. Senior Member
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    #5
    I'm glad that things are getting better. Him making an effort is good. I am sending that things will work out.
  6. Dreams come true... I am living mine
    Kris's Avatar
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    #6
    I am glad that you guys are talking, you know that i am here to talk to day or night
    DREAMS CAN COME TRUE
  7. You are here.
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    #7
    Good luck...i hope everything continues toward a smooth transition from what has transpired recently .
  8. Senior Member
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by KaylaH View Post
    Good for him for at least trying. I totally think that you are doing the right thing by living apart and taking it slow-- if will give you the opportunity to keep your head clear and really work on what you want.

    I really do hope it works out for you. I admire your strength and determination.
    ... I'm glad things are starting to look up, but definitely take them slow. I hope everything works out for you & Kyle!!!



  9. Senior Member
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    #9
    I hope he gets it together (and keeps it together). Good luck with everything!

    Finally together in Okinawa and ready to start some new adventures together!
  10. MissOptimistic
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    #10
    Glad to hear he's trying! I hope things continue to look up!
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