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Thread: Don't know what to do....

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    Salswifey's Avatar
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    #1

    Don't know what to do....

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    So me and my DH have been living apartfor a month now because he is deploying soon. Lately everything has been going downhill. We have been fighting non stop! Everything I say he always says something negative back and I am getting really sick of it.. I know he's stressed from pre deployment but I'm sick of him taking his stress out on me. And then he tells me he hates talking on the phone.. So we sit there on the phone not saying anything to eachother. The phone is the only way that we have of communicating with each other a
    But he doesn't care.. What do I say to that?? So after we hung up tonight I texted him that we have to figure our marriage out before he leaves because we can't leave it the way it is now... Is it wrong of me to say that and stress him out more? This relationship is so important to me and hopefully to him too.. Ugh.. I guess we'll see when I see him on Wednesday..
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    #2
    If you are thinking it, then it needs to get said. There is no good time, so may as well be now.
    Stress before and after deployment is always hard, and causing fighting in most couples.
    Yeah, you guys need to talk it out.
    Hopefully he gets the message and realizes that there are problem that need to be dealt with, and he should not take it or you for granted.
    I hope things work out!
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    PeaceIsTheWay's Avatar
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    #3
    definitely not wrong of you at all! as much stress involved in deploying, he should be grateful to have you there in his life. being understanding is one thing, but putting up with disrespect continuously shouldnt come into play. my own personal opinion... if he thinks its stressful to work your issues out prior to him leaving, and being even further from you, with far less contact and communication, maybe you need to make a change about where you stand in the relationship. nobody deserves to be neglected.
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    #4
    I agree it wasn't wrong of you to tell him that. You can't be separated for months and not fix things beforehand. That won't help at all...it will make things worse and drive you insane. I hope you get to talk things out!
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Leisa View Post
    I agree it wasn't wrong of you to tell him that. You can't be separated for months and not fix things beforehand. That won't help at all...it will make things worse and drive you insane. I hope you get to talk things out!

    Finally together in Okinawa and ready to start some new adventures together!
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    #6
    Yea, it would be good to discuss it with him but I bet when he gets there he is going to miss you like crazy!!! Maybe you could just dress up, making him a really nice home cooked meal, just relax and enjoy your night with him and if he starts being a jerk just look him in the eye and say " why are you speaking to me like that?" but in a very calm voice... sometimes people need to be put in their place but in a way that gives them no excuse to continue being a dick....good luck

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