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Thread: I cried myself to sleep.

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    #1

    Sad I cried myself to sleep.

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    Good Morning ladies!

    I honestly don't know where to start with this.
    Um, ok, db broke up with me last night because he couldn't trust me.
    I lost his trust when I told him I had no communication with my ex db when I really did. Well ex db and I would only talk every other week or whenever he needed a friend. I had told db that ex and I were like best friends before we started the whole dating thing.

    Db found conversations of me and ex db about a month ago. It was really just catching up to see how we were both doing. Db got extremely upset which I understand why. Yes I lied to him making him believe ex db and I had lost total communication. && I feel deeply bad about it.

    The last time we argued about this I told him I would stop talkin to ex db. I was stuck in between but I really love db so i chosed him. So I really kept my word of not talking to ex db. Everything was going well till yesterday. I had lost my phone, couldn't find it anywhere. db came in and said im gonna go out for a drive. It was midnight. I asked what was wrong. & he said I see you still talk to him. I said "I know that whatever I say right now you wont believe but I have not talk to him" Db went in to my voicemail and heard some unheard messages and assumed I was talking to him (ex db). The messages in my voicemail were from the day the last arguement about this took place (a month ago). I was not answering ex db's phone calls and all.

    so now db is at home packing
    I cried myself to sleep last night. I feel hopelss I feel horrible.
    I know that all of this is my fault but I just idk
    Life is like photography,
    We develop from negatives.
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    #2
    I'm sorry hun, break ups are never very easy. I've actually be in almost the same situation in the past. I am friends with all of my ex boyfriends (for the most part) and one is my best friend. It has put a strain on my relationship in the past, but finally DB and I had a looooong talk one night about how I would NEVER let anything happen with him that he was just always there for me and our feelings for each other in that way were completely gone. DB decided that our relationship was important enough to make it work with exDB being my friend. I wish I had some advice for you, try talking to him explaining the situation and that you really honestly haven't talked to him, but wait until he calms down a little, it sounds like emotions are running high right now, they never makes mature conversation.

    If you need someone to talk to, PM me any time!

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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by steff09 View Post
    Good Morning ladies!

    I honestly don't know where to start with this.
    Um, ok, db broke up with me last night because he couldn't trust me.
    I lost his trust when I told him I had no communication with my ex db when I really did. Well ex db and I would only talk every other week or whenever he needed a friend. I had told db that ex and I were like best friends before we started the whole dating thing.

    Db found conversations of me and ex db about a month ago. It was really just catching up to see how we were both doing. Db got extremely upset which I understand why. Yes I lied to him making him believe ex db and I had lost total communication. && I feel deeply bad about it.

    The last time we argued about this I told him I would stop talkin to ex db. I was stuck in between but I really love db so i chosed him. So I really kept my word of not talking to ex db. Everything was going well till yesterday. I had lost my phone, couldn't find it anywhere. db came in and said im gonna go out for a drive. It was midnight. I asked what was wrong. & he said I see you still talk to him. I said "I know that whatever I say right now you wont believe but I have not talk to him" Db went in to my voicemail and heard some unheard messages and assumed I was talking to him (ex db). The messages in my voicemail were from the day the last arguement about this took place (a month ago). I was not answering ex db's phone calls and all.

    so now db is at home packing
    I cried myself to sleep last night. I feel hopelss I feel horrible.
    I know that all of this is my fault but I just idk
    Very sorry about this, but I have to say I completely understand where he's coming from. I don't want to make you feel worse, but you did betray his trust. It's good that you stopped betraying it, but you did communicate with the ex after you promised him you would not. It may still work out, just give him time... In guy language, when he told you he didn't want you to talk to this guy, and you argued about it, but said okay, and then did it anyway, you told him you chose the ex over him, KWIM? It might be wrong, it might be complicated and a burden to deal with, but that's how it is. Again, sorry and I hope he comes around!
    Last edited by Judi89; 09-09-2010 at 09:37 AM.



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    #4
    Wow that totally sux! Give him some time to cool off & try talking to him.... Don't give up just yet.


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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Judi89 View Post
    Very sorry about this, but I have to say I completely understand where he's coming from. I don't want to make you feel worse, but you did betray his trust. It's good that you stopped betraying it, but you did communicate with the ex after you promised him you would not. It may still work out, just give him time... In guy language, when he told you he didn't want you to talk to this guy, and you argued about it, but said okay, and then did it anyway, you told him you chose the ex over him, KWIM. It might be wrong, it might be complicated and a burden to deal with, but that's how it is. Again, sorry and I hope he comes around!
    I agree with Judi...trust in a relationship is a HUGE huge thing, and if it's broken sometimes it can take a long time to re-gain it, if at all.
    I'm sorry though, I know that must be a tough position to be in. I hope things work out for you!
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    #6
    Well, if they were old messages, he should be able to check the time stamp. That said, I don't think it will help. The trust was already broken, and by snooping he showed you that he is NOT over it and probably won't ever be over it. Better to end sooner rather than later.

    In the future, if you are friends with ex's, I would make that very clear from the beginning of new relationships. I would also have a hard time being friends with this guy, as that would be rather hypocritical of him.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Judi89 View Post
    Very sorry about this, but I have to say I completely understand where he's coming from. I don't want to make you feel worse, but you did betray his trust. It's good that you stopped betraying it, but you did communicate with the ex after you promised him you would not. It may still work out, just give him time... In guy language, when he told you he didn't want you to talk to this guy, and you argued about it, but said okay, and then did it anyway, you told him you chose the ex over him, KWIM. It might be wrong, it might be complicated and a burden to deal with, but that's how it is. Again, sorry and I hope he comes around!
    I agree with Judi.
    You just have to have some boundaries in a relationship. Apparently his were crossed.

    Just give it some time and talk about it.
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    #8
    Thank you! for your advice and support.

    Right now I don't know if to text him,call him. Idk I'm at work and he is probably at home sleeping. But who knows he was so upset yesterday that he said it was over and he was leaving today.

    At this moment I feel like I'm not gonna beg him to stay, we have been on and off for a while and I just feel like we might need this break. I have many mix emotions going on about this right now.
    Life is like photography,
    We develop from negatives.
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    #9
    I think you should leave him be for now. It is only , but if you chase him now, I think you'll only drive him off. Give it time and then contact him and ask to talk.



    "If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - President Ronald Reagan
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by steff09 View Post
    Thank you! for your advice and support.

    Right now I don't know if to text him,call him. Idk I'm at work and he is probably at home sleeping. But who knows he was so upset yesterday that he said it was over and he was leaving today.

    At this moment I feel like I'm not gonna beg him to stay, we have been on and off for a while and I just feel like we might need this break. I have many mix emotions going on about this right now.
    Don't text him or call him. Let him cool off. He has to want to talk on his own.

    Basically, what Judi said
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