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Thread: Help....

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Help....

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    My fiance just recently got stationed in Jacksonville FL. Right now I am living in Maryland because I have a steady job here and will be moving there after the wedding in June. Before he got stationed last week, we had spent over a month together, everyday. Now we have gone to barely talking at all. He explains that he is SO busy that he does not have the slightest bit of time to call me. It really has started to make me feel unloved and also unwanted. Please someone tell me if this is normal... cause its really upsetting me.
  2. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
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    #2
    I'm sorry you are going through that. I'm sorry, there is never any excuse for him to be TOO BUSY to contact you in some way. With that said, when you get to a new duty station there is always an adjustment period and trying to "establish" yourself in your command so you can be competitive BUT that's no excuse to ignore your SO. Were it me, I would be reluctant to uproot and leave a good job based on his current behavior. You need to have a serious discussion with him and then make some hard choices. Work in important but he needs to realize that it won't keep him warm at night and it won't be there to change his Depends when he's 90.

    Good luck





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  3. The Decider
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Solstice View Post
    I'm sorry you are going through that. I'm sorry, there is never any excuse for him to be TOO BUSY to contact you in some way. With that said, when you get to a new duty station there is always an adjustment period and trying to "establish" yourself in your command so you can be competitive BUT that's no excuse to ignore your SO. Were it me, I would be reluctant to uproot and leave a good job based on his current behavior. You need to have a serious discussion with him and then make some hard choices. Work in important but he needs to realize that it won't keep him warm at night and it won't be there to change his Depends when he's 90.

    Good luck
    A title won't change your relationship, so it's pretty safe to assume his behavior wouldn't be any different if you were already married. Would you want your husband to completely ignore you, make you feel unloved and unwanted, etc. and claim he doesn't have five minutes to call you before he went to bed? Make it clear now that this behavior is unacceptable.
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  4. Fresh Newbie
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    #4
    When we are together that NEVER happens....
  5. Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Solstice View Post
    I'm sorry you are going through that. I'm sorry, there is never any excuse for him to be TOO BUSY to contact you in some way. With that said, when you get to a new duty station there is always an adjustment period and trying to "establish" yourself in your command so you can be competitive BUT that's no excuse to ignore your SO. Were it me, I would be reluctant to uproot and leave a good job based on his current behavior. You need to have a serious discussion with him and then make some hard choices. Work in important but he needs to realize that it won't keep him warm at night and it won't be there to change his Depends when he's 90.

    Good luck
  6. Senior Member
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    #6
    I would ask if there's a day he can set aside one hour or so to talk to you on the phone, like Sunday or something. He might be too tired to call everyday, but one day a week will at least give you a little time to talk.
  7. Am
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    #7
    It's normal to have days here and there where they're exhausted but he should still call just to at least say good night. On a daily basis, he needs to make time for you especially when you're apart. If he's not putting in the effort, something needs to give and you need to let him know you need more.
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    #8
    Like the other girls said, he should not be SO busy that he can't communicate with you... And yes there is competition and what not but, he should still have evenings and non duty days off... My hubby is on Deployment and we talk everyday... Although, every command is different I would still talk to him about it,if he were deployed I would understand the seperation in communication but not for just changing a command... You shouldn't feel that way before you get married.. There will be changes in commands your whole future, you don't want it to be like this everytime... I hope things work out for you two...
  9. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by maleliz7777 View Post
    When we are together that NEVER happens....
    It's not how he behaves when you are together that is at question, it's when you are apart. So when he deploys, goes TDY, goes to a school, etc., will it be ok with you that he makes no effort to call you or even communicate at all? Sorry the "I'm too busy to call you" is bullshit and a lousy excuse. If he's making no effort to meet your needs when you are dating do you think it will get better when you say "I do?"





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
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