Sticky Situation..

[Franky.]

So my roomie has been my best frind of 10+ years. It's always been a said thing that I would be her MOH and she would be mine. Well now that my wedding is up and coming this October, she has been given that role.. and isn't holding up to it. I understand she's busy because she's pregnant.. but she hasn't done ANYTHING to help, she's only made things worse for me.

- Telling me she refuses to do a bridal party dance with the BM because she doesn't like him. "Doesn't care how mad I get at her"

-Wont give a speech unless she's "totally wasted before hand"

-Didn't order her dress for about a month and a half after the other girls did. Then had to pay a rush order fee and complained to me about it.

-Every time I have plans for wedding stuff, something comes up with her. This weekend she was having a "mental breakdown" so couldn't dress shop with me and the Mom's.. but proceded to go out at 10pm.

-Many more little things I can't think of atm.

I've gone so far already to promote my cousin to Matron of Honor, since she is married, and roomie is not, but I'm to the point where I'm ready to take her off all together. So my question is.. how do I UN-MOH my roomie, without causing WW3?

[azarmygf]

you could kindly sit her down and say that you have asked your cousin to take on the duties of the MOH because it seems that she is busy and stressed and you don't want to place a burden on her. in which case she may take it well, or throw a fit.

OR you could let her continue to believe that she is MOH and ask your cousin to graciously allow your friend the "honor" of pretending she is MOH. the people who are important to you probably know exactly who really helped. sometimes you just have to put on a show and bare it.

i would personally do option #1. and relieve her of her duties....

[Franky.]

Yeah.. I think I like option 1 better too.. I mean my cousin is doing SO much I think she deserves the honor to be 1st in line.. But I live with roomie until the end of October so it could get ugly.

[azarmygf]

the least she should be is civil. there are a lot of roommates that have problems with each other, but in the end as long as the bills are paid, there shouldn't be a problem

hopefully she takes it well. you know her best. make sure she knows you still want her as a brides maid (if you do) and still want her to participate, but that it seems like too much of a burden for her.

[KristenM]

I agree with the others. Tell her as nicely as you possibly can.

I was just the MOH for my best friend in June and I did more from half a continent away than your roomie seems to be doing for you. If she didnt want the responsibility that comes along with being a MOH then she shouldnt have agreed to do it.

[Anchored2aSailor]

Another trick that might work, tell her your cousin came to you and was very hurt about not being MOH. Ask your friend if she would graciously step aside and let your cousin fill the role of MOH.

[Franky.]

She knows my cousin pretty well, so I can't exactly "trick" her. But she was in bed by the time I got home tonight so I couldn't tell her tonight. She's avoiding me, and I think she knows it's going to happen, but doesn't want to face it. We haven't talked in 2 days, and the past 2 days I've been doing wedding outings withmy cousin. I just really hate confrontation..

[LittleMissCJ]

The confrontation will be rough, but in the end, it will be worth it.
Let us know how it goes.