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Thread: I have no clue what to do...

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    #1

    I have no clue what to do...

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    I don't know what to do when DF gets back from deployment.....

    i have a couple of options and i am so confused...

    1. Get married, move with DF wherever he is stationed and either
    i. take a break from school for a year and a half.
    ii. take online classes, if possible, from my same school.
    iii. switch to a school near where DF is stationed.
    2. Get married, stay where i'm at, and go to school until DF gets out.
    3. Hold off on the marriage until DF is out, and stay where i'm at going to school.
    (If DF is stationed where he is now after deployment (highly unlikely), then the list of choices definitely changes)

    I think about it all the time, and its really starting to wear me down! its such a tough decision.... i don't know if i could stand being away from DF for over 2 and a half years! (1 of deployment, the rest until he gets out). but on the other hand, is it smart for me to stop school, or get married so early?

    I know you all will say i have to go with what i feel is right...
    but im just wondering what some opinions are on it...
    R.I.P. My Love, Everyone was supposed to come home together, I'm sorry you had to come home early
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    #2
    What does your DF have to say about it all?

    If I were you, I would make school a priority. There are a number of excellent online schools that are completely "portable."

    As far as the rest.... it's probably a good discussion for you and your DF to have. What makes the most sense financially? Where will you have the most support?

    You'll get it all figured out
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    #3
    I would get married, move with him, and transfer schools. That way you can be together and still finish school.
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    #4
    hmm.. I'm kind of thinking about the same thing, although I haven't listed the options... My DB lives 12 hours away, and he'll be deployed shortly, so I'll be done with my junior year in college by the time he gets back. When he does get back, he'll still have a little less than a year in the navy, and I'll have one year left of school. I thought about moving closer, but.... for me, I've worked so hard to get to college, that I don't think I'll skip out with one year to go. While Cleveland isn't the best place to be, if it's meant to be, one year wont break us.

    Since yours is two and a half though..that would be tough. If the degree you want is super specialized (mine is...it's from a private college) I would just finish out school then move with him...but, if it's manageable and makes sense to do online courses or find a school closer to him, I'd do that.

    So if marriage is in your near future, Option 1 or 2.

    You're welcome.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    What does your DF have to say about it all?

    If I were you, I would make school a priority. There are a number of excellent online schools that are completely "portable."

    As far as the rest.... it's probably a good discussion for you and your DF to have. What makes the most sense financially? Where will you have the most support?

    You'll get it all figured out
    we have talked about it, probably over talked it. he says do whatever i think is best, but that he doesn't want to be away from me.

    my school actually has a wonderful online portion, so i would not switch to an online school if i were to do that...

    financially, i am paying the full tuition for school, and live in a house owned by my mom, with my brother. i don't know how much difference it will make financially, except DF will get a slightly larger pay and BAH. and i *think* schools have more financial assistance for military dependents.

    and i won't live by my family either way... except my brother, but he doesn't really count...
    R.I.P. My Love, Everyone was supposed to come home together, I'm sorry you had to come home early
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    #6
    My main question would be what are you studying in school? Is this something that you could easily do online? Will there be lab classes that you'll miss out on, hands-on experience you'll have to find somewhere else? If your degree easily transfers into the online classes, then you'd definitely be better off not having to transfer schools. Often some credits won't transfer over and you'll be left trying to make things up or find a different way to work subjects in. It all depends on what your goals are though.

    As for the rest of it, I don't think any of us can answer whether or not you should get married yet or not.
    "Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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    #7
    Honestly, IMO, if online courses are a feasible option I would do that. Or I would transfer. I would not take a break from school, just because in my experience a lot of people find it hard to go back, especially full time. I wouldn't want to spend over 2 years away from my DF, and I imagine you don't want to do that either. I would just feel like taking a break completely from school would be you giving up too much. Online courses and/or a transfer and you relocating sounds more like a compromise to me! That's what I would do if I were in your shoes, but like you said you need to do what's right for you!

    Finally together in Okinawa and ready to start some new adventures together!
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    #8
    Also, I don't know how old you are, so I can't say anything about the age. If that's something that's worrying you though, I think you really need to think it through. People get married young and make it work, you just need to know that you are ready for marriage. No one else can tell you that!

    Finally together in Okinawa and ready to start some new adventures together!
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    #9
    me and my decision making..... i was in engineering, but now i switched to education, so i'll see how that goes this semester.... engineering is definitely not transferable to online, but education is...

    Brittany, I am ready for marriage, in my mind, but i have people telling me to just wait all of the time.... it makes me second guess myself, even if my mind is made up...
    R.I.P. My Love, Everyone was supposed to come home together, I'm sorry you had to come home early
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by *MarineBug* View Post
    I would get married, move with him, and transfer schools. That way you can be together and still finish school.
    Thats what I would do....
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