Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Is it just me?

  1. DeeksGirl
    KcLee's Avatar
    KcLee is offline
    DeeksGirl
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Spencerville Oklahoma
    Posts
    243
    #1

    Help Is it just me?

    Advertisements
    Im just gonna start from the beginning cause this is confusing lol

    DB now is not in the military my X DB was i just couldnt leave lol DB has a regular job working for a drilling company. I love him to pieces and could not ask for anything better i truly have found my soul mate. We have been together for 2.5 years and living together for 6 months.

    DB and I got a house around his family (which i love) out in the country for the sake of argument and a mental picture we live in two small towns back to back that barely have post offices in each, out in the middle of nowhere (honestly folks think little house on the prairie here) the population for both is mostly his family or ppl who are like family. That being said most of our social gatherings consist of the same ppl his family and very close friends.

    Okay now this situation arose before we moved in together but has gradually gotten worse. I am a very 1 man for me and thats it im off limits and dont even think about it kinda girl, always faithful. I dont put myself in situations that may seem like its even questionable some may say im a little to strong in that aspect of my believe. Never the less i have been hurt and cant do that to somebody i love.

    Anyway DB has a cousin basically the same age as me (i am 5 years younger than DB) who is a social butterfly to say the least. He we will call him J. J is at nearly every social gathering and also on the fire department with both myself and DB. J jokes constantly and is one of those types nothing is off limits. He started out being friendly and from friendly to touchy friendly nothing dramatic but enough to get my attention so i just started positioning DB btw us and taking little steps to relieve the problem. Ok so to the real issue i have talked to DB about the fact that it happens and is getting worse and DB says thats just his personality he honestly means no harm... The thing is i have continued my decided approach (keeping the distance) but it seems its bothering DB more and more. I have asked and he continues the same comments made all along, its just his personality blah blah blah...

    This weekend however he got my number and has started to text me just small talk really how are ya whats going on at home stuff like that. I just am at a loss as to what to do i know i should talk to DB about it but how do you approach this obviously already sensitive subject!!!! :ugh

    I NEED HELP!!! Sorry so long!
  2. Sarah-Elizabeth
    missbutton's Avatar
    missbutton is offline
    Sarah-Elizabeth
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Soon to be Ft.Stewart
    Posts
    66
    #2

    Hmm...This is kind of tricky I suppose because it still could be his personality. I know a few people who are like this. If he does have other intentions however and he is asking how things are at home to kind of rock the boat I would just tell him 'things are terrific, couldn't be better!'. Don't get him any sort of room to cause a problem. Don't even feel obligated to text him back, really. He may be your SO's family but if he is making you uncomfortable just ignore him. Unless things get serious I wouldn't bring your DB into it.
    good luck!

    <span style=font-family: Arial><font size=2><font color=DarkRed><b>

    Surviving deployment #1

  3. Senior Member
    BrittanyLynn's Avatar
    BrittanyLynn is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Okinawa, Japan
    Posts
    2,766
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by missbutton View Post

    Hmm...This is kind of tricky I suppose because it still could be his personality. I know a few people who are like this. If he does have other intentions however and he is asking how things are at home to kind of rock the boat I would just tell him 'things are terrific, couldn't be better!'. Don't get him any sort of room to cause a problem. Don't even feel obligated to text him back, really. He may be your SO's family but if he is making you uncomfortable just ignore him. Unless things get serious I wouldn't bring your DB into it.
    good luck!

    I would agree here.... this is a tough situation. The next time he tries to touch you or something, maybe say something like I have personal space issues (in a joking kind of way)? I guess that would have been easier to do earlier on when you first met him. I would try not to stress about it too much - you and your DB know you're not interested, so unless cousin starts making really obvious advances, I would just keep doing what you're doing!

    Finally together in Okinawa and ready to start some new adventures together!
  4. Lurker Extraordinaire
    Rivanariko's Avatar
    Rivanariko is offline
    Lurker Extraordinaire
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Minot
    Posts
    775
    #4
    It probably is just who he is, I have friends like that, and will admit that I'm a bit of a shameless flirt myself, but I would NEVER be unfaithful to my DB. But the point is, it's making you uncomfortable, so you need to address it.

    I really think you might consider talking to J about it. Not in an accusatory "stop trying to steal me from my Man!" kind of way, but just say "Hey, I know that you don't mean anything by this and it's all in fun, but it makes me kind of uncomfortable. I have some personal space issues." Keep it friendly and low-key, you don't to alienate him, just for him to be a little more respectful of your space.
    "Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

    Starting Today: 101 things in 1001 days
  5. DeeksGirl
    KcLee's Avatar
    KcLee is offline
    DeeksGirl
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Spencerville Oklahoma
    Posts
    243
    #5
    Ok thanks girls i was kinda thinking along the same lines but i dont wanna make a situation thats not bad terrible ya know thank you though
  6. <3 <3 <3
    OutlawWoman.'s Avatar
    OutlawWoman. is offline
    <3 <3 <3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    11,904
    #6
    I'd just ignore him. Use the block features if your service provider offers them.. I guess since it IS his family.. you'll probably just have to deal with it..

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •