Yesterday I was talking to the new girl at work. We were talking about relationships and such. She said her boyfriend is joining the marines and wants her to marry him after basic, and she thinks it would be awesome, but she's not in favor of leaving her family. I just said, you're 18, a lot of changes happen between 18 and 22 alone, believe me, and that a long distance relationship isn't hard if you are both independent. She agreed, then quickly asked me if I had a boyfriend
(I talk about exes, but aparently never allude to being single) I said no, and she asked if I like it--something I've never been asked before.

I took a few seconds and started spewing this out lol. I honestly don't think I, or any guy could handle a relationship with me right now. I have a lot going on seeing my parent's relationship, and, although I have had one good relationship, the rest have been kind of odd and taxing. I think I'd eat a guy alive with my jaded personality of men right now.

I'm all for the caring and dating, but I just couldn't be in a relationship. My recent ex lied to me big time about himself, and turned quickly, taking me with him slowly without my noticing, and losing his daughter who I had fun with, losing so much just really jaded my outlook. I don't know if I'll even want to ever get married now, honestly. I'm scared of it.
The fact of lying just…ugh… I'm toxic I guess you could say.…and that last sentence was as I walked out of the lunchroom because I was done with my break….I can't believe all that came out. I just felt like sharing that… I don't know why

I guess this is my little love life update