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Thread: So can I call him DF?

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    #1

    So can I call him DF?

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    so a few nights ago DB and I had a serious conversation about engagement/marriage. we were just joking around as normal. and he was asking when i want my engagement ring, either on R&R or after he gets back for good. he really wants it to be R&R and so do i. then he asked if i want it as a surprise, and i kind of decided that i want to go with him and pick it out, because i dont really trust him to pick out a ring and he wants to spend waaaayyyyyy too much (like 5000, and we had an argument about that). then we got into the serious part, about telling people. im afraid of all of the judgement i might get for being engaged, and that my family might not accept it. DB responded that it doesnt matter what other people think, and that the ring is just to symbolize. in his mind he said that we're already engaged. so now im wondering, can i call him DF, even if theres no ring? i mean were getting married, and talk about it plenty.....
    also i got some more questions in my mind:
    Did any of you not have your engagement be a surprise, like just go with your DB to pick out a ring?
    How have you all dealt with judgement from your family or others? (like "your too young" or "you barely know each other")
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    #2
    Oh dont get my started on my MIL about our whole marriage. She has said to DH that we hope we get divorced, she is a bitter angry lady.

    Anywayssss, apart from his mum, no-one said anything but even if they had...It wouldnt have mattered either way.

    As for rings, we looked at rings before we got engaged to give DH an idea but I didnt know until he proposed what ring he bought.
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    #3
    I dealt with all the judgment in my first marriage..... They are concerned is why. I had JUST turned 18 when I got engaged to my ex husband. He didnt really propose we just talked about it and I said yes. He got me a ring when we got married.

    With DF...... I considered him DB even though we talked about marriage......... He popped the question! I wear a "Stunt Double" ring though. I have a real one and a fake one ($8.00 at Kohls) bc I dont want someone to rob me and take my ring like what happened a month or so ago.
    I waited for the ring though but thats just me
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    #4
    Husband and I disagree on this...lol He refused to let me tell ANYONE till I had a ring, which BTW took weeks, then he had to ask my dad. I just wanted to shout it from the rooftops Call him DF on here and then really its up to you hun, if hes cool with it and so are you I dont see the big deal


    Oh and even once I got my ring since it wasnt all bling bling and just a simple band with my birthstone people never thought it was an engagement ring, they thought we were engaged without a ring lol
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by azarmygf View Post
    so a few nights ago DB and I had a serious conversation about engagement/marriage. we were just joking around as normal. and he was asking when i want my engagement ring, either on R&R or after he gets back for good. he really wants it to be R&R and so do i. then he asked if i want it as a surprise, and i kind of decided that i want to go with him and pick it out, because i dont really trust him to pick out a ring and he wants to spend waaaayyyyyy too much (like 5000, and we had an argument about that). then we got into the serious part, about telling people. im afraid of all of the judgement i might get for being engaged, and that my family might not accept it. DB responded that it doesnt matter what other people think, and that the ring is just to symbolize. in his mind he said that we're already engaged. so now im wondering, can i call him DF, even if theres no ring? i mean were getting married, and talk about it plenty.....
    also i got some more questions in my mind:
    Did any of you not have your engagement be a surprise, like just go with your DB to pick out a ring?
    How have you all dealt with judgement from your family or others? (like "your too young" or "you barely know each other")
    I went with DF to pick out my ring, he wanted me to have my dream ring Anyway, he proposed without it, which is fine, so I still don't have it. He'll get it when he can afford it, I'm in no rush. So technically, I guess the engagement is still a surprise because he's going to "formally" propose when he gets the ring.

    His family kind of understands the military thing, and they know they have no control over him so they don't even try. Guess I got lucky
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    #6
    If in his and your mind you two are engaged, then you are engaged. Just because the according to society you're not engaged until you have a ring on you finger does not mean you have to abide by it.

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    #7
    DH and I got engaged back in January of this year. I didn't get my ring until May 19th and we got married the 21st. We were engaged just with no ring. I went with him to get my ring but he was against it
    Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you.


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    #8
    Until he proposes or calls you his fiance, he's still your boyfriend. Ask him where the relationship stands. DB and I had that exact conversation prior to R&R, he's decided to wait till this summer
    Also, stop and detach best you can and ask why family might not be supportive. Think about how you feel about that. Personally I would be out the door if my family didn't approve, I love them too much to be with someone they didn't like, but my family is also very laid back and easy to get along with so



    ETA: out of curiosity, why do you want to get married? What is it that you're looking forward to? I see you're 19, how long have you been dating in person? I wish you well, I'm just curious

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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Turpentine89 View Post
    Until he proposes or calls you his fiance, he's still your boyfriend. Ask him where the relationship stands. DB and I had that exact conversation prior to R&R, he's decided to wait till this summer
    Also, stop and detach best you can and ask why family might not be supportive. Think about how you feel about that. Personally I would be out the door if my family didn't approve, I love them too much to be with someone they didn't like, but my family is also very laid back and easy to get along with so



    ETA: out of curiosity, why do you want to get married? What is it that you're looking forward to? I see you're 19, how long have you been dating in person? I wish you well, I'm just curious
    My family is very traditional and conservative. To them being married before your done with school, or financially stable, is "jumping into" marriage too soon. Also I'm the oldest girl in my family, and the closest to my grandparents, who are a huge part of my life. So there is a sort of letting go involved for my family. Also, and I know I might get reprimanded for this, he is my first bf, but that doesnt matter to me.
    In regards to getting married, i want to because of the commitment it shows, and it is just part of what i want in my life. I love my DB (DF?) more than anything. We dont want to get married for the extra money, or anything like that, in fact he wants to wait until he's out of the military. we love each other and want to start a family together, i dont know what more reason there is.
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    #10
    Your entire story sounds like me lol.
    We decided to get married before we bought a ring. Then we went together and looked for rings. But I called him my Fiancee before we finally picked one out. From my experience I would suggest not telling people until you have the ring, the first thing people would ask me is "can I see the ring?" lol
    It was not a suprise at all that he proposed. We went home and he asked my Dad for permission (at this point I had already been wearing the ring for like a month lol). While we were home he took the ring back and proposed to me all romantically under the stars...but I knew it was comming
    I was 19 when we got engaged and I go sooo much crap from people. I would tell them that I was engaged and they would say "why?" ugg it was super annoying. Just keep smiling and let it go
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