Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: What to do what to do?!?

  1. angedusoleil07's Avatar
    angedusoleil07 is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Me: Chicago/ Him: "Caliganistan" :(
    Posts
    10,145
    Blog Entries
    5
    #1

    Help What to do what to do?!?

    Advertisements
    OK, so DB is the BEST! He tries to put my happiness first and makes sure that I have and get what I need and he only wants the best for me and for us. I've known him for years and things are really good!

    The only issue I have is that I have been burned. BAD. And I do mean BAD!! The guy I was dating when I started on here left me. He was scared of everything. He was just so sure that I was going to cheat on him, that I was going to cause him to fail (he was going into the Navy for Nuclear Propulsions and didn't think he could do it), and all of these other things. The day he broke up with me, even tho I wasn't feeling it, he kinda snuck in a quickie and then left me a half an hr later He would tell me he loved me but didn't want to be with me and later I found out that a month before he left me, he was spreading vicious gossip to his friends and some of it traveled to DB (who is a Marine, my ex's older brother was his superior for a little while) before he and I were together!

    Now, needless to say, I am guarded. VERY guarded. If I am honest with myself, I know I love DB. But I can't say it to him because I'm so guarded. I told him its all me, but how to I both protect my heart and let DB know that he's not in this love alone?
  2. I ♥ my airman
    TcoL♥ryA's Avatar
    TcoL♥ryA is offline
    I ♥ my airman
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    387
    #2
    I know how you feel. Almost three years ago before DH and I got together I was in a relationship with someone (who wasn't in the military) for 3 1/2 years and for 2 1/2 of it he was constantly cheating on me and only said we were together when it was convenient for him. It look me a long time to get over it and DH understood. We've been together for a little over two years now and it took me a year and a half before I could get back to where I was. Just keep reassuring him that it's just hard for you but also push yourself a little to open up. He's not your ex bf so try to see him as a different person - I know it's REALLY hard sometimes. But putting in the effort and telling him you're trying to recognize the differences and trying to put your guard down will also let him know how much you care for him. Sorry for the rant ... hope that helps! PM me if you need to talk.

    By nora
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
    rache3's Avatar
    rache3 is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    SJAFB, NC
    Posts
    3,333
    Blog Entries
    2
    #3
    my DB is my first bf and im 24 so i waited a while to fall in love..and i was guarded and had walls built..but DB knew this and with trust and communication they slowly came down and i fell in love with my best friend. we both "studied" what it meant to really love someone...and i risked it all and told him one day its never easy when you are guarded..but eventually you gotta take a chance

    i hope the best for ya!

    I <3 Thirty-One! Summer Catalog is here! Ship to APO/FPO Join my team today!
  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
    rache3's Avatar
    rache3 is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    SJAFB, NC
    Posts
    3,333
    Blog Entries
    2
    #4
    and your DB may hurt you but love can overcome that..my DB has hurt me emotionally but i love him and he loves me. i believe in a Godly love and my DB recently figured out what it means to really give yourself entirely to someone..love is a learning process...but oh so worth every step!

    I <3 Thirty-One! Summer Catalog is here! Ship to APO/FPO Join my team today!
  5. Christine
    ShyDiva's Avatar
    ShyDiva is offline
    Christine
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    369
    #5
    I was pretty guarded with my DB up until about this Jan. I was burned in my last relationship too and was very protective of my feelings when DB and I started dating. It took me a little over a year to tell him that I loved him. It's scary putting yourself out there again, but you'll do it when you're ready. Just take your time.
  6. angedusoleil07's Avatar
    angedusoleil07 is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Me: Chicago/ Him: "Caliganistan" :(
    Posts
    10,145
    Blog Entries
    5
    #6
    Ok, yeah I'll work on it. It's crazy trying to be open and trying to stay guarded, its like a perpetual tug-of-war going on in my head and it makes it feel like it'll pop. I'm usually good at balancing my heart and mind but with him the balance has been careening wildly, I know I love him, but it's almost physically impossible for me to, as I say, drop the "L Bomb" to him. But thanks for the reassurance, I need it!
  7. Regular Member
    dnbcdq21's Avatar
    dnbcdq21 is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    me-MI him-GA
    Posts
    168
    #7
    i've been hurt both physically and emotionally so with DB, it was extremely hard to open up and it took a lot of time but he was willing to wait and the wait paid off because we're very much in love and planning on getting married. If he loves you enough, he will wait for you to be ready to say it!
  8. Senior Member
    Enthused Meerkat's Avatar
    Enthused Meerkat is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Bowie, MD
    Posts
    13,250
    #8
    If you feel it, you definitely gotta tell him! My boyfriend is my first true love and I felt like I was hiding this huge secret by not telling him for a while...I was just afraid that I would say it too soon, and not really be feeling the way my gut told me. I've only told one other boyfriend that I loved him, and I did love what he tried to be, and what he told me he was, but when his true colors showed, I definitely knew our love wasn't real. Some may wonder why I'm so sure this time, when my current boyfriend could just be telling me what I want to hear like the ex, but there's no red flags with him at all...there were red flags with the ex from the beginning, but I pushed them to the side because of how he was in the very beginning...after that relationship, I've made sure to not be fooled again...this time, I'm sure it's real. I hope it works out for you.
  9. Senior Member
    chmille's Avatar
    chmille is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    364
    #9
    Seems like these girls gave some awesome advice. Hang in there! And explain and talk to him about your feelings and etc. If he's truly in love with you, he'll wait.
  10. You are my boulder, I am your pebble <3
    photochic13's Avatar
    photochic13 is offline
    You are my boulder, I am your pebble <3
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    both of us are in Great Lakes,IL :)
    Posts
    531
    #10
    i know how you feel. before Dh and i got together 5 years ago, i was left and screwed over by every guy i liked and i was younger and it took a toll on my emotions and my self-esteem (it was that point in my life where rejection was tragic). i just let him know that i hated to feel vulnerable and that i was screwed over and hurt alot. he completely understood and he knew my biggest fear was him leaving me. now we have a happy marriage. IMO just be honest with him, sometimes thats the best thing.
    Bethany <3


    "...i just wanted to say that i love you more than anything..."-DW
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •