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Thread: I'm lost without him. *sigh*

  1. >.< *face palm* >.<
    Rainbow Brite's Avatar
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    #1

    Puke I'm lost without him. *sigh*

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    I know I have so many things I need to do for me before I worry about other people, but its hard. I feel like myself with him. He makes me happy. Yeah, we fight. Everyone does. But he makes me happier than anyone in my life ever has. I adore him. And I don't know if I should. I don't know if I should try to keep hanging on, but I do know that I am lost without him. He brightens my day, no matter what clouds loom on the horizon. He makes me smile through my tears. What am I supposed to do when the thing that is making me cry is him? How am I supposed to move on, when the thought of never seeing him again makes me want to die. How am I supposed to live my life without his smile, his laugh, his advice? What am I supposed to do when I need him so much? I cant imagine life without him.


    They say that you should stay, not with the person you can live with, but with the person you cant live without. I don't honestly think I can live without him. I dont know how to tell him how I feel. I don't want to freak him out. But I care about him. More than anything else. I would give up anything to be with him. I would lay down my life for him.


    Ten months. Thats all the time we've known each other. And so many things have happened, good and bad. But every moment has been better for him being in them. Every day I've smiled because of him. Now I can only cry. I want to fix this. I don't want to move on. I honestly don't think I CAN move on. How long does it take you to know that you want to be with someone. I can't say forever, because forever doesn't exist, but I want to be with him as long as I can. Talk to him every night before I go to bed. Sleep next to him when the Army allows. Make him as happy as he makes me. Share our pain, love, laughter, tears, fear, hopes, and dreams.


    I don't care that he deploys. Because every moment we are forced to be apart, is just one more moment that I am with him, thinking of him, and not someone else. Never someone else. I rather endure 1,000 deployments- sharing letters, phone calls, and emails, than live without him in my life. I want to be his support system. I want to show him every day that there is someone here, to listen, and help take the pain away. Because he takes my pain away.


    How do I fix this? What if I cant? I don't know what I'll do if this truly is the end. It cant be the end. It cant be.
  2. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #2
    I am so sorry that you feel like this. I don't know what happened between you two but I am sorry that it ended like this. If you want to talk, i will be up all night. If not, then i am thinking of you and i hope that you can be at peace with the situation eventually.
  3. "Saving People. Hunting things. The family business"
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    #3
    im so sorry I cant believe he did that to you. I honestly dont know what goes through guys minds..it's dumb. Im so sorry ...you need anything im here for ya
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by LovinmyMdshipman View Post
    I am so sorry that you feel like this. I don't know what happened between you two but I am sorry that it ended like this. If you want to talk, i will be up all night. If not, then i am thinking of you and i hope that you can be at peace with the situation eventually.
    Thanks. We've been talking, and kinda going over things. There may be hope, but I dont want to... IDK. I just dont want to lose him.
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    #5
    I am so sorry that you are hurting.

    The first few days, hell weeks or months are so hard
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by *Valarie* View Post
    Thanks. We've been talking, and kinda going over things. There may be hope, but I dont want to... IDK. I just dont want to lose him.
    I know how that feels...my ex before Ex Db...haha, confusing i know, he broke up with me and said he just wanted a few days to clear his head. that was the cruelest thing he could do to me. he never had any intention of going back out with me but i kept trying. and well, things didnt work out. But i really hope they work out for you. If you want them to. Which i am guessing you do. I hope this guy deserves you though. I hope he can tell how much you love him and want him back. Cause if he doesnt then he isnt worth it! You seem like a very special person and you should have someone who treats you wonderfully.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by LovinmyMdshipman View Post
    I know how that feels...my ex before Ex Db...haha, confusing i know, he broke up with me and said he just wanted a few days to clear his head. that was the cruelest thing he could do to me. he never had any intention of going back out with me but i kept trying. and well, things didnt work out. But i really hope they work out for you. If you want them to. Which i am guessing you do. I hope this guy deserves you though. I hope he can tell how much you love him and want him back. Cause if he doesnt then he isnt worth it! You seem like a very special person and you should have someone who treats you wonderfully.
    Thank you. That means a lot to me.
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    #8
    OMGOSH hun i dont know what happend but im sorry try telling him just sitting down talking let him know how you feel and you want to be there for him.... PM me for anything!!!!!
  9. Not even the Army can shatter my spirit.
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    #9
    I hope things will work out for you Valarie. I'm so sorry that he just broke up with you like that. Maybe he's lost and confused right now because of the uncertainties in the military. I don't know the whole story but I just hope that he'll lead you in the right and healthy direction. I don't want you to be hurt anymore by this.
  10. MIA for awhile...
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    #10
    I'm so sorry hun. I know how it feels, because that sort of heartbreak you can never forget. Whatever happens though, you will get through it. You may cry for weeks, or a few months, but one day the tears will stop and you will move forward. That's the day you are a stronger person, and that's the day you realise maybe it happened for a reason.

    I don't know why he broke up with you, but if he isn't treating you right, then you shouldn't hang on to him at all, you should walk away and know that you are doing yourself justice. You do deserve to be happy, so if you're hanging on just because of what "was", rip the band aid off right now, and walk away.

    If he is being the typical asshole guy, and just making you jump through hoops. Please be sure he is GOOD for you before you try to get him back. I know you don't think you can live without him, but you can. And you should always be treated like a queen, not a jester.

    I'm no good at helping anyone through a break up, or giving advice about it- I always think to the future and not what's happening right now, but I do believe that to get through right now, you need to look to the future. There's a sunny world out there, and you will be back there again, with or without him. And as much as you can't see it, things always happen for a reason.

    Cry, grieve, scream, sleep, eat comfort foods, smoke, vent all you want. You can and WILL get through this.

    Pm me if you need to talk. Not sure how helpful I'll be, but I'll listen.
    Blame your man, not Myspace!!
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