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Thread: I NEED RELATIONSHIP HELP....PLEASE...KINDA LONG

  1. AirForce Girl
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    Help I NEED RELATIONSHIP HELP....PLEASE...KINDA LONG

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    Ok...here is the history...

    My DB is such a good guy! I love him very much...and for the time we have been together we have been through a LOT...

    Ok...so here I go...DB and I live 4 hours away...and I drive to see him on the weekends...and when he can get away from base he drives to me...

    We had been dating for about 7 months when a rumor went around that he got drunk one night at a party (that I new he was at) and went home with this other girl and slept in her bed...Well Grace (the other girl) likes DB...I call him and confront him about it and he says YES he did sleep in her bed but NOTHING happend...He has always told me that he has NEVER cheated on a girl friend...So...it took me some time to get my thoughts together and I told him that I believed him...Well...another weekend I went to see him and He was playin volleyball at the gym on base...and GRACE was there...and they were talkin and havin a good time...well he left his phone in my car...So I got this GUT feeling to go and look at his phone...( I know...I know...) BUT I am glad I did...He had sent her a picture of his penis...there was nothing of her...he prolly erased it...So I kept my mouth shut the entire volleyball game...and we were goin to meet one of his friends for dinner...I wanted to wait till after dinner to bring it all up cause I didnt want to cry...Well he could tell something was wrong with me...So I told him...I said "I went through your phone today at the game..." and I opened it and showed him what I found...He said " I sent that to you..." (he does send me pictures all the time) So I went to his out box...and it was to GRACE...so I sat there...and he told me he sent it to her...
    I walked out of the room and to the bedroom...and sat on the bed...wanting to start packing my stuff and drive home that night...

    He came in the room and told me he was sorry and that he didnt know what he was doing...and that he doesnt like her that way...all the normal stuff...

    He told me that he will stop talking to her cause he doesnt want me to walk away from him...blah blah...

    Well he also told me that Grace is not the one I need to worry about...his best friend from back home is who I should worry about (Audrey)...I was like...what does that mean...He said that she was his first love and that he still kinda had feelings for her...ok...after that conversation he was the best boyfriend a girl could have....

    Well...he deployed 2 1/2 months ago..he only has a myspace...and Audrey has only has a Facebook...I have both...and always have...Well about 2 weeks ago it popped up that Audrey and DB were friends...I didnt do anything for about 2 days...HE NEVER ASKED TO BE MY FRIEND...HIS OWN FREAKIN GIRL FRIEND....and he knows I have Facebook...So I said something to him about how I saw he had one...Well about 10 min after I said something he asks me to be his friend...I waited about 2 days before I said yes...So now...He tells me that he is confused on his feelings for her...MIND YOU...that she has never wanted him...and she is dating someone...and planning to move out of state for this other guy...So...I love my db and my db thinks he loves Audrey and Audrey loves Doug (her bf)...

    So should I just let it all go and move on with my life...or should I wait to see what all unfolds with it all???

    I love him so much...yes I know that he has put me through SO much un wanted CRAP...but...I dont want to be blinded by my love for him either...That is why I am coming out to everyone and asking as myself!

    I NEED HELP...

    WHAT DO I DO???????????????????????????
  2. A Pretty Poison Flower...bringing you the sweetest juice.
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    Once bitten...

    He's now been less than up-front with you about TWO girls. I know you love him but maybe you should rethink this relationship until HE gets his head out of his arse.

    and I hope things work out for the best for you!
    Wifey to nstarsweetie and missmaaaine, pog to miraluu, and TayreehBaykur is my Mistress! Mrow! !
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    #3
    Personally, I couldn't be with someone who still loves his ex. He sounds very confused. And I think he needs time for himself.. But he doesn't wanna break up with you because he knows she has a boyfriend, so he's keeping you around in case he can't get to her. I would've left when he told you he still loved her (or had feelings, I can't remember exactly what he said).
  4. FaT_BoYz_LaDy
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    I think he doesnt know what he wants and you should leave him until he knows whether Aundrey or Grace or you are for him
  5. ~*~Jen~*~
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    #5
    I say you need to do whats best for you and being with him IMO is not best for you. You need to know your worth girlie and you are worth much more than that! You deserve better than a man that is confused and a man that will send pics (and Im sure if there are pics there are more things that he just didnt get caught with).

    He is not worthy of the love you are giving him. Period. Maybe once he figures out what he wants and grows up some then re evaluate the situation but as for now, Id leave his ass.

    Meeting you that day changed my life forever.
  6. AirForce Girl
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    THANK YOU SO MUCH....I need to hear it from yall...I have not told my friends here about it cause I dont want them to think he is a jerk...but...now I am getting to the point where I dont care....I really value yalls opinions! Really from the bottom of my heart...THANK YOU!
  7. Lovin' Life with her Civvy.
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    #7
    Well.....Honestly, You need to do what is best for you. Do you want to be hanging around while he tries to "figure out" his feelings for this other girl, or do you want to move on with your life. I know moving on is going to cause a lot of "What If's" but, look at what he's done so far. Sending explicit pictures to other women. Telling you that you SHOULD be worried about another girl. Honestly, something is up with him. I've been in this situation, it is no fun. You need to look around and think is this really how I want to spend the next chapter of my life, waiting on someone that doesn't seem to worry about me. In my case I spent the last year "waiting" on my airman...and now he's decided we should just be friends cuz he wants to be with someone else. Hun it's no fun. And I'm not tryin to be mean but there are sooo many more fish in the sea. If you do decide you want to wait for him...then as of right now he's probably in this state of mind where he thinks you'll always be there, that he can always fall back on you, prove him wrong......make him think about you, make him miss you. I'd say take a break from him.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by OneRed911 View Post
    Once bitten...

    He's now been less than up-front with you about TWO girls. I know you love him but maybe you should rethink this relationship until HE gets his head out of his arse.

    and I hope things work out for the best for you!

    Sorry, but his behavior is ridiculous. Try looking at it from the outside in... what would you say if another girl posted the same thing? He obviously doesn't seem very commited to you. You deserve to be loved equally, and according to your ticker, nearly 11 months is a long time to be dating someone who has feelings for at least one other girl! I mean, you say you love him, but he loves her! And who cares who she loves?? The point is, his feelings aren't completely, or maybe even partially, with you! And what kind of guy sends pics of his schlongadong to other girls and THEN says, oh you should worry about this other chick instead though?! Sounds like he just likes drivin you crazy.

    It may just be time to build a bridge and get the hell over it. And push his lame ass off the edge while you're at it!
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    #9
    Maybe you should consider being single for a while and finding a man that is completely faithful to you. He's bitten you once and he may do it again. It sounds like he's in a way, sort of playing mind games with you. This isn't something you need while he is deployed. Maybe you should just have a single life for a while and if he comes back to you and you want him back, then take him back. But try to find someone else who wont even think about doing that to you.
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    #10
    Ooh, I had this issue with my now hubby. He was in love with this girl that was married and had a kid, but didn't get the hint that she didn't want him like that.

    I gave up.

    I told him "Fine. I'm done with this BS", then left (involuntary--I had a deployment).

    2 months later, he messages me through Myspace and we start talking again and... yeah, married with a kid, so...

    Best thing I can say is dump the bastard. If he loves you, he'll come back to you.
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