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Thread: I feel super guilty.

  1. DvlDogGal104
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    #1

    I feel super guilty.

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    DB went to a party last weekend. He calls and says "no females are going to be at this party...". I thought it was a little strange to say since I didn't ask him anything about it, I guess I expected women to be there. He calls me later that night after he gets home and we talked for hours. Everything was great.

    He sends me a text yesterday and says "so-and-so wants me to delete pictures of her from the party". I said, I thought no girls were going to be at this party? He said, he never said that. Then I ask if a certain girl was there, one that we had issues about before. [As a brief summary, he was friends with this girl and he was totally into her (but he says he wasn't---women know when men are attracted or have feelings for other women, right?). It got to the point where nothing that was going on with me could compare to what was going on with her and I almost left him. He said it wasn't losing me over, and he stopped talking to her (I told him he didn't have to do that, the issue wasn't with spending time with her, it was how he treated me compared to her--he just didn't see it, still doesn't). So apparently, they chat here and there, and whenever he mentions her we just inevitably (sp?) fight].
    So...I ask if she was at this party, he didn't say anything at first. And I ask again and he says yes, that he left when she showed up. He said he left when other females showed up but then I mentioned the pictures. Asking if these were pictures he took with the camera I bought him and if he took them as he was walking out of the room as the females arrived. He said no, they were there for a while before so-and-so showed up and he took the pictures himself. So I tell him that's 2 lies (no females there and he left when the girls all arrived-but managed to get pictures). He says he didn't lie, that I was drinking that night when he told me no females were going to be there. This turns into a huge fight and he mentions how bad he feels for ignoring her, that he gave up a friendship for me (he said he feels like there's a restraining order, he leaves whenever she's around), gave up a job for me and doesn't feel appreciated. I never felt more guilty in my life. I tell him that I only talk to him anymore when he's drunk, that I feel ignored, that I didn't tell him to give up the friendship or the job and that maybe it's time to go our separate ways. He says no, that he'll be home in 24 days, I love you, can't live without you, etc. I had a CT scan today and I don't even want to tell him about it because it's "nothing compared to the other girl's issues". Even though he acts concerned I still feel like it's unimportant because of what he had previously said. So, today I told him I needed to be left alone for a while. That the lies hurt and the ignoring hurts, no matter how much he says "I love you". I don't want to leave him, but I feel bad. Like I'm messing up his life and being a crappy GF. I feel like he doesn't enjoy talking to me except when he's drunk. And he never remembers what we talk about. And if her name gets brought up...forget it, nothing good comes out of it.

    Should I do this guy a favor and let him go so he can have the friends, the fun, the life he really wants?
  2. Living well is the best revenge <3
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    #2
    i think you should talk to him about it. if you really love him then dont give up without a fight! and if he really loves you everything will work out in the end. maybe you telling him you want to be left alone for a while will make him realize how much he misses you and cares for you if he doesnt talk to you for a bit. and as for this other girl...she sounds like a slut. and if things end up not working out and he ends up with her..he isnt worth your time anyways!
  3. ♥ All You Need Is Love ♥
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    #3
    I wouldn't feel guilty. If there was a girl there that you don't feel comfortable with and he knows about it, then there is nothing to feel guilty about. I would think about your relationship with him if you feel like he only wants to talk to you when he's drunk. Im sorry you have to go through this, but I hope it all works out.

  4. xkrazybaby67x's Avatar
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    #4
    that's a toughie. but i strongly believe in fighting for what you love. good luck!
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    #5
    I dont think you are messing up I think he is treating you terribly and sounds like a real jerk. I dont think you should break up with him so he can live his life I think you should break up with him because you deserve better and so you can get on with your life
  6. lord help us all!
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    #6
    well since he obviously isn't listening to what you have to say. maybe sit down and write a letter, leaving nothing out. tell exactly how you feel, how he makes you feel. and what you want out things. but be blunt, as he is male. not rude or mean, but VERY clear. most men don't get hints or read between the lines very well. if he's reading it and doesn't have you on the the phone to try to defend himself or make things turn to how he wants them, he will actually understand whats going on. if you love him, truely love him, fight for him. don't let some little floozy take what you have. good luck and best wishes!
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    #7
    I would for sure talk to him about it before walking away! Never know things might get better. If you talk to him and nothing changes then you can always leave.
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    #8
    Don't feel guilty. He's the jerk. If he loves you, you should be more important to him than some dumb friend. He should want to make you happy, and not want to make you feel uncomfortable ever. So, if him being friends with that girl makes you uncomfortable, he should respect that. Talk to him about it again. HE should be the ones who feels guilty. Not you.
    ~Jessie~

  9. DvlDogGal104
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    You're all right. He has a difficult time listening to me, understanding me. And as far as the girl goes, I 100% believe he wouldn't ever cheat on me, but I don't like knowing a friend means more than me. I would love to talk to him about it, but I think at this point we've tried to talk it out enough. He doesn't want to deal with it and I don't blame him. So I sent a text, suggesting we take a break from "us" for a week (I know it's not the best way to communicate that, but I tried calling and he ignored it). We'll see what happens......Thanks, Ladies!
  10. Senior Member
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    #10
    This is why I'm a little afraid of getting married and having another child. MEN!!!! They honestly piss me off sometimes!! They think that everything is about them, well its not! That's why I have my own career and so much going for me that if it comes down to it, I will be fine by myself if I have to. Hang in there girl, you'll know if this is right for you in the long run!!!!!!!


    NO MORE TICKER HE'S HOME!!!!!

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