Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Talking about marriage

  1. Senior Member
    sweetdreamer_08's Avatar
    sweetdreamer_08 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    409
    #1

    Talking about marriage

    Advertisements
    ok. michael and i have talked about getting married. he first brought it up at the beginning of january. he had told me that he seriously wanted to marry me someday. i told him ok because i want to marry him someday too. well we had talked about getting married in this past february but we decided against it since i am still in high school and nearing the end. then we talked about getting married when he comes home from iraq. his entire family keeps asking us if we have decided if we were or not. well i had talked to him about it and now he says he isn't sure if he wants to marry me. idk what to do. i don't understand why he all of a sudden changed his mind about marrying me. his whole family wants us to get married. i love his family. they are very supportive and they don't treat me like some kind of idiot. i feel like part of the family. they treat me better than any of my exes families treated me. i already feel like part of the family. this past weekend when we went to go see him they wanted to take family photos and they wanted me in all the photos. it felt good to be excepted by his family. i have never been this close to anyone else's family before. i just don't understand why he isn't sure anymore. what do i do? i had been told that he was gonna break up with me and i talked to him about it and he told me that hadn't even come to mind. so does that mean that he does want to be with me or what? i just don't get it. i need advice. it would be really helpful right now. thanks!
    I my wifeys Clawson and LukesLilTrooper!!!



    waiting for love to find me!!!

    IWALHNMW!!!
  2. Senior Member
    Brightstar's Avatar
    Brightstar is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Twentynine Palms
    Posts
    2,727
    #2
    It is good to hear that his family love you I dont really know what to say about why he changes his mind but if he already brought it up, at least you know that he at least thought about it so dont worry too much about that. I think you should just let him comes to you first. Same kinda stuff happened to me but he actually came to talk to me about it first. PM me if you need anything
  3. Senior Member
    Soldierslove08's Avatar
    Soldierslove08 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    2,120
    #3
    I would have to say that is a really hard one. family means a lot but it ultimatly comes down to you and him. A few reasons he might be having second thoughts is your young still and still in high school. If he has been talking to other military guys its kinda common knowledge that most NOT ALL AND I AM NOT SAYING YOU but most women who get married too young and especially with the military end up divorced. So he might just be a little hesitant. Also he is Iraq so some guys get kinda freaked about being tied down when they are gone. If it was me I would ask him right out about it and ask why he may have changed his mind. I know the when michael and I have talked about it he never changes his mind and never waivers on it at all. He is sure. So i would ask about it for sure if I was you. How old is he?
  4. Senior Member
    sweetdreamer_08's Avatar
    sweetdreamer_08 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    409
    #4

    hey

    he is 18...and he has been talkin to alot of the guys...but we decided to wait until he comes home but i don't think we are for sure on that one or not...i know i wanna marry him...but i still have to wait for him to make up his mind
    I my wifeys Clawson and LukesLilTrooper!!!



    waiting for love to find me!!!

    IWALHNMW!!!
  5. Senior Member
    Soldierslove08's Avatar
    Soldierslove08 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    2,120
    #5
    That can be really hard but at least he wants to take the time to think on it and not rush into anything. Very best of luck and just remember you guys have time while he is gone. It also may be that he just is not for sure and wants the time apart to really be sure. That time that he takes away will be huge. He will be able to see exactly what he wants without a lot of other stuff to cloud his thoughs. Sure he will have all those guys but for the most part he will be able to know exactly how much he misses you and how much he wants to be with you or not. Very best wishes. here if and when you need. Not sure if anything I have said helped!
  6. Keep Calm and Ride Unicorns
    Twinderella's Avatar
    Twinderella is offline
    Keep Calm and Ride Unicorns
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    48,077


    #6
    I think all you can do is take him at his word. If he has changed his mind or wants to slow it down and wait, then that's what you should do. You don't want to marry someone before they are ready anyway because that just sets you up for failure before you even begin. You have plenty of time to get married, especially if you are still in high school. Time is definitely on your side. So, I would just lay off of the marriage stuff, talk about it when he gets home, and in the meantime just focus on school and getting through the deployment.


  7. Leia<3saCoastie
    Guest
    Leia<3saCoastie's Avatar
    Guest
    #7
    maybe since he is not there it might be to hard for him to get married with you because it could be too hard on HIM while he is gone. My boyfriend told me this before he left because he got all strange and started to fight with me and i asked him about it and he told me that is was easier for him to leave mad and then to leave in love because then he wont have to worry about being in love while he is gone..
  8. Senior Member
    *MarineBug*'s Avatar
    *MarineBug* is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    MCRD San Diego
    Posts
    17,277
    Blog Entries
    2
    #8
    none of us are him. Ask him. Thats the only way you will get answers. And guys change when going into the military.
  9. ZX7Rgirl
    Guest
    ZX7Rgirl's Avatar
    Guest
    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldierslove08 View Post
    I would have to say that is a really hard one. family means a lot but it ultimatly comes down to you and him. A few reasons he might be having second thoughts is your young still and still in high school. If he has been talking to other military guys its kinda common knowledge that most NOT ALL AND I AM NOT SAYING YOU but most women who get married too young and especially with the military end up divorced.
    I agree here. It's nice to know that he is thinking about a future with you, but maybe he isn't ready right yet. I wouldn't push the issue... what's important now is that you are together now and happy now. Let tomorrow bring with it its own troubles and joys.

    I thought that the guy I dated at 18 was the love of my life, but he was definitely the wrong guy for me. I'm not saying that is your situation, and I'm not trying to offend anyone who got married at an early age...

    All I'm saying is, just because you two are right for each other doesn't mean you have to rush things. If he's not so sure anymore then it could just be because he's not ready...it could have nothing to do with how he feels about you.

    Relax and take one day at a time. Your dream wedding will come soon enough

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •