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Thread: "Secret" Marriage???

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    #1

    Wow "Secret" Marriage???

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    Who's done it???

    DB wants us to get hitched in Vegas before he goes to OCS.... we would be the only ones there and would announce our "engagement" around that time so we can start planning for our "real" wedding (the traditional ceremony) which would happen in a year or so.

    Were any of you secretly married for awhile before you had your actual ceremony? How did it work out for you???? Did anyone ever find out? Please share with me!!!!!!!!!!!
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    #2
    Why would you keep it a secret? Why not have a JP wedding and then later have a big party or something?
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    #3
    we thought about doing this... until i realized that my dad would find out because of finances and taxes changing.
    also, we wanted a catholic wedding. the church would know when we got married and we'd have to have a vow renewal instead... which i was afraid people would notice the difference.
    in the end we realized it'd be a lot harder to hide from everyone then we thought.
  4. ProudArmyWifeD
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    Why wouldn't you just tell everyone you were eloping in Vegas and would renew your vows in a big ceremony in a few years?

    I seriously do NOT get why people want to get married and yet keep it a secret.

    Don't you think people will realize your married if you are doing so for benefits, or living arrangements or whatever?

    If you feel you need to hide something, generally it means you think there is something wrong with it? I just don't understand what a good reason would be to keep a marriage secret.
  5. fridaynightgirl
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    #5
    I don't think I could do that. I agree with the others that you'd have a pretty big secret to keep and it might make for some really hard feelings if the secret ever gets out.
  6. A Pretty Poison Flower...bringing you the sweetest juice.
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    #6
    If I got married I'd tell a few friends and probably no one in my family because of issues I have with my family. If there are no underlying issues or reasons to make you not want to tell people then I'd just let them know that you're doing it ultra-small now and will do the "real thing" at a later date so friends and family can feel included.

    Good luck whatever you decide!
    Wifey to nstarsweetie and missmaaaine, pog to miraluu, and TayreehBaykur is my Mistress! Mrow! !
  7. Bex
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    #7
    i tried that with my first marriage.

    failed miserably and ended up having huge issues with family.

    never never never never again
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    #8
    There is a difference, imo, between having two ceremonies ( a JOP and big she-bang for example) and outright deceiving people by getting married but announcing an "engagement". I see nothing wrong with the former but the latter seems wrong to me. Marriage is just not something that needs to be entered into in a state of deception, jmo.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by USCGBoxerMom View Post
    Why would you keep it a secret? Why not have a JP wedding and then later have a big party or something?
    Just because my family has been waiting for me to get married my whole life! Haha, it means a lot to them (my mom and grandma especially) that I have a traditional engagement and big wedding ceremony. I would really like those things as well, yet for various reasons, DB and I want to marry before he goes to OCS next month. Not sure how it's all gonna happen??
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    #10
    You should do what YOU want to do, not what your family wants. If you are ready to marry him then do it. Your family should accept the decision, but if your going to cause a huge riff in your family by not going by what they want then you need to hold off and do the big wedding and make them happy.

    Utlimately you need to decide...is your marriage going to be any different if you got married in a private ceremony vs. the big wedding? But starting your marriage off on a HUGE lie is not a good way to do it.
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