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Thread: old ex's :( help please ::long::

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    #1

    Neutral old ex's :( help please ::long::

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    Dh tells me that I am not allowed to talk to any of my old exes, or guy friends...which I think is stupid but I respect how he feels.

    Well he is off in California right now doing deployment training, and I routinely clean out his email for him (he knows I do this). So that when he signs in when he gets back he isn't bombarded with junk.

    While cleaning out his inbox today I scanned over an e-mail that was from one of his ex girlfriends before we got together (we have had problems with this chick before). She sent him an email stating how she wanted his number, and that she enjoyed their chat the other day(what? he's in cali and gets on and talks to her but not me) and that she hopes to talk to him soon. I am now really upset and look into his messenger and see that HE was the one that contacted HER, and I can't find any emails before today's date which makes me think he has been cleaning and deleting them.

    I don't really know what to do, I am stunned, he always said he worshiped me and loves me, and I am the only one he wants, etc. I have always trusted him completely.

    My question is should I not saying anything and keep checking his email and see if he keeps in constant contact with her, or should I bring it up and risk him lying his way out of it? I want to trust him, but I am so hurt right now, he is being hypocritical, and might even be doing something bad

    oh btw she lives only 2 hours from us now that we moved...we are closer than ever to her and this scares me

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    #2
    If he can dictate to you who you can speak to (even going so far as to forbid you friends) then he needs to back the hell up and do the same. I'd confront him and ask him why it's okay for him to get friendly with an ex (that you've had problems with BEFORE) and you can't even keep some of your friends.

    Something smells wrong about this to me.

    and good luck!!!
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    #3
    I agree with the previous comment hun. He has no right to keep you locked up but he is free to roam and chat with whoever, esp not a troublesome ex.

    You need to talk to him. I wouldn't sit and watch. It will only let things get worse. I would ask him about it and nip it in the bud. You "came across" it before, but knowing that it is there now and waiting would just be snooping around. Not good and just ad dishonest as what he is doing IMO.

    I hope it all works out for the best.
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    I almost don't want to know

    but I am going to hope for the best... maybe we can come to an agreement or middle ground

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    #5
    with the other ladies.If you cant talk to ex's and guy friends. Why should he be allowed too.I would definetly bring it up.And he should be more than willing not too The same way you have done!



  6. flafwife
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    #6
    i'm kind of in the same boat as you. Personally i see nothing wrong with talkn to your guy friends and even exs. Im all for things that make some one happy with out crossing a line. For him to talk to someone and after he has told you what he did sure doesnt make it right in my book.

    after 7 years of being together w/ my dh he knows that i've always been able to talk to guys easier than girls and he also knows that i havent had any of my own friends to talk to they have all been his. so when i went back home and ran into one of my old exs i was happy to have the chance to talk to someone who was always a really good friend. (dated for 3 months when we were 17 and hadnt talked to him in 8 years or seen him in 5 years) I'm happier now than before even though he hates that i'm talking to him and thinks mores going on than just talking (he lives in oklahoma and drives a truck)

    I'm agree with everyone else. its not right for him to have double standards if i were you i'd call him out on it. youve got lots of support here girl go for it
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    #7
    I'd print off that conversation (so that he can't delete and play dumb) and I would confront him. He can't deny what is there in black and white straight off of HIS email account. If he is indeed talking to her, the longer you wait to confront him, the longer he thinks he's getting away with it.
    "What's so good about good-bye? It is good to be reminded that life is brief, at best, with no dress rehearsals, and the seasons we are privileged to share together are even more fleeting. Good-bye is good if it teaches us to cherish the life and breath, strength and sound mind, and the moments we are allowed to walk side by side with a friend. Good-bye is good if, in that difficult moment, we stand still long enough to give thanks to God for the lessons we've learned together, the love given, and the love received, recognizing that these are gifts from the hand of God." ~Marshele Carter Waddell
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    #8
    He is a hypocrite!

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    #9
    I'd print everything out and confront him. I mean hell you weren't snooping he KNEW you were deleting spam emails from his email. He is being a hyprocrite.
  10. BJo
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    #10
    I've had issues with this with DF. He can't expect you to cut off all ties and then remain in contact with his exes. It's hypocritical and casts a lot of doubt on his own morals in that regard.
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