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Thread: Hand in Marriage???

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    #1

    Help Hand in Marriage???

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    My dad thinks my DF should ask him for my hand in marriage. I think this is a compleatly out dated thing, and he shouldn't ask anyone but me for my hand in marriage, and my DF feels the same way. But my dad is really pushing the issue he says it's out of respect,and I'm afraid that if my DF doesn't do it then my dad will never respect him. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Is this an out dated tradition or is it respectful to ask?
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    #2
    i don't see how it could hurt.



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    #3
    I think it's a respectful thing to do. Me and DH decided to get married really fast and then I was like oh crap my DH has never even talked to my parents. So I asked DH to call up my dad and talk with him about it. Talk about an awkward conversation on the phone. If your dad wants that, I think it would be best for your DF to talk with him, ya know? All of my friends that have gotten married, the guy asked the girl's dad first. So, I would say have him talk to your dad! No biggie and your dad will be glad!
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    #4
    What would it do if your DF did ask? It wouldn't hurt him. My DH asked my mom (my dad wasn't around) before he asked me, it's just a respect thing and doesn't hurt anyone.


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    #5
    My dad wanted the same thing... DH bucked up and did it and also asked my sister and my mom out of respect. It made things easier all the way around. Good Luck!
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    #6
    Why do you have such a hard time with it? Obviously your dad is aware you two want to be married. I mean, considering you say "my DF" he kind of missed the bus with this, but why doesn't he just ask your dad? Maybe your dad wants the chance to say "This is my little girl, man. Take care of her."

    IDK. I'm going to shut up before I put my foot in my mouth, but I don't think it's an outdated thing, at all. ESPECIALLY when it means SO much to your dad.
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    #7
    DH didn't ask my dad for my hand in marriage and trust me he felt guilty after that. My dad was not happy espcially when he had not even met DH yet. My dad is a very traditional person and felt it was proper when a guy wants to marry his daughter to ask for permission. It might be outdated to us but to the "older" generation its a sign of respect. Everything was ok after DH met my dad and apologize for not asking permission. My sis DF learned from DH mistake and made sure to call my dad when it came time to propose.
    It would not kill your DF to ask permission. It shows sign of respect. It also means he is asking your dad for permission to take you out of your dad's hand and take responsibility.
    JMO
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    #8
    my dh asked my dad, it just a respect thing, it can't hurt anything!

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    #9
    its not going to hurt u or your df for him to ask, and if it will make things easier in the long run i say he should just bite the bullet and go for it...

    Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by kiwijus View Post
    Why do you have such a hard time with it? Obviously your dad is aware you two want to be married. I mean, considering you say "my DF" he kind of missed the bus with this, but why doesn't he just ask your dad? Maybe your dad wants the chance to say "This is my little girl, man. Take care of her."

    IDK. I'm going to shut up before I put my foot in my mouth, but I don't think it's an outdated thing, at all. ESPECIALLY when it means SO much to your dad.

    I agree


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