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Thread: Is DF trying to be difficult?

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    #1

    Confused Is DF trying to be difficult?

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    So, I love and adore him with all my heart. I am blisfully happy with each phone call and email. I also love and adore my in-laws-to-be. I won the lottery when it comes to in laws I think.

    He hasn't called or emailed his mom. She asks everytime we've talked if I've heard from him. It seems to be getting her down which makes me sad. She sends him letters, emails, and packages but no response from him. I've emailed him to tell him how much even a little email would mean to her, but to no avail. When we talked last time, I asked him to call his mom and he said "Say hi for me."

    It's making me feel guilty to get phone calls and I don't want my bliss to be tainted damnit!

    Any suggestions on how to make him see the light? It's not the end of the world, I know, but I want to fix things. I don't want to see her upset.

    Thanks brentscrystal!
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    #2
    sometimes you can't make them see the light give them time. or don't thell the inlaws that you've been talking with them much it may cause resentment down the road. But just keep talking to him hon it can't hurt.
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    #3
    Thanks. You make a good point about possible resentment down the road and I'll surely keep that in mind. I just have a bad habit of trying to keep everyone happy...lol.

    Thanks brentscrystal!
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    #4
    i won the jackpot on in-laws too...and i feel TERRIBLE when i tell them how often we talk and they don't...but i don't really let on how much we actually talk, and i try to get DF to contact them every now and then...

    he'll do it on his own time, i suppose...truth of the matter is that YOU are becoming his family, and YOU will come before them now...

    "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" ~ Psalm 27:1
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    #5
    I know what you mean. I suspect my future MIL (whio is long-divorced, single, and alone) is slightly jealous that her son, her only son whom she adores above all else, contacts me regularly and shares more with me than he ever has with her.

    She'll say, 'it's right that he would tell his mate' this or that. Or, she'll joke that she's not jealous of my place in his life, but I've long assumed she was. It's weird, and Sigmond Freud would have a field day analysing her kind of devotion, but ultimately, I think our men simply make a choice to contact one person primarily, and it's us.

    Not complaining there. But, I am careful what I reveal to her now.
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    #6
    Maybe and this is a big maybe here, he feels like because it's his family he can sort of put off writing to them a little bit longer. Family will always be there for you no matter what (or at least they should be) so maybe he knows that they are still going to love him even if he blows off writing back for a while. Families forgive. And by having you deliver messages for him that keeps you connected with his family whiles he's gone. He probably doesn't realize that some resentment can build. He probably just thinks it's bringing you guys closer. Talk to him about it and let him know how you are feeling.
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    #7
    I had the same sort of thing, my DB's mom called me, saying she hadn't heard from in a week, and was wondering what was happening... and i had to make all these lame excuses for why he hadn't called yet. But what i did was when i talked to db was like "Oh i talked to your mom today, she's been trying to get ahold of you and stuff" and he called her, so maybe try something like that
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    #8
    Thanks for the wealth of great advice girls!!! Both he and his brother are deployed together. They hear from his brother all the time, so they're not feeling the love from my goofball. I pass on messages when he asks. Like you said above, he probably thinks he's bringing us closer. I'm going to let him know next time we talk about the possible resentment thing though. I love the in laws soo much that I don't want something silly to ever mess that up.

    Thanks soooo much again for each of your inputs. It's hard getting perspective on something like this when it's all so new. You girls all rock my socks!

    Thanks brentscrystal!

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