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Thread: Need Advice

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    Sadie's Avatar
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    #1

    Need Advice

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    My SO and I have been planning our April wedding for several months. We were going to have a family only ceremony in the evening and a big reception to follow with both family and friends. Almost everything is planned out and set…then life happens. Without going into any details of the situation, my SO and I have been talking about for weeks to get a court house marriage. It’s definitely something I have been losing sleep over. After talking to our parents, both sets of parents are extremely happy that we making the decision to marry sooner than the set date. I was so worried about what my dad would say but he actually said that he was happy and wishes we would have made that decision sooner. But I still feel sick about the situation. I want my parents to be there the day I get married, whether it is a court house marriage or the wedding SO and I have always wanted. Because his family lives in MT and my family lives in KS, there won’t be anyone here to witness our marriage except his brother who is also in the Marines and is stationed here. It is so important to me to share this with our family. I’m having such a hard time with this….

    Because we have spent so much money and time planning our wedding in KS and many people have already made travel arrangements to KS to see our wedding we are still having a “ring ceremony” and reception on the date we originally set. Plus, I don’t think I could ever get over the fact that my dad never walked me down the aisle. I just can’t shake off the feeling I have about our families not being here when we get married. Any advice?
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    #2
    i guess i don't know all of the details about why you aren't waiting until april. i'm not prying, i'll assume it's an important reason. but even after the JOP you can still treat your ring ceremony as the "real deal". it is afterall, the formal celebration with all of your family & friends, which is, in my opinion, a very important part of a wedding.
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    #3
    I know how you feel. We didn't end up going JOP route, but I thought about it a few times and so did he, but I struggled with the same thoughts. I think you should just treat your ring ceremony and reception as the real wedding. A LOT of people do JOP and then have the "real" wedding later. Have your dad walk you down the aisle then and remember that it's the process and the thought that really counts.
  4. figsflower
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    #4
    I would go with my gut feeling and not how everyone else feels about the situation beucause at the end of the day, i have to deal with my regrets if this is the vision that i trully wanted and dreamed about. But on the other hand it depends on your reasons for getting married sooner. you will still have that day and that image just in a different order. It will still be a very special day because after all your daddy will still be there to walk you down that aisle.
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    #5
    Obviously there is a important reason for why you are doing it earlier and i really dont know what to say. Do what you feel you need to do. I had a JOP wedding with no one there, and I regret it. So, next year for our 5 year mark, we are having a renewal ceremony, just like a real wedding. Maybe if it is not possible for you to have it now, you can do it down the raod. Just a suggestion.
    We accept the love we think we deserve.

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