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Thread: We don't want our long distance love to end...

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Sad We don't want our long distance love to end...

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    Hello everyone I'm new to this site and I came here because Im in a situation that hopefully someone could give me some advise or a sense of hope ...I currently live in Texas and my boyfriend of 2 years who is in the army is currently stationed in Texas as well and this is where I met him. My boyfriend and I are very much inlove, the problem is that I am currently 20 years old and a college student and he is 24 and is about to get sent to another base in Tennessee. I love him so much and i would love to go with him but I don't want to later resent him because I missed out in getting my college degree and other goals I have waiting for me in Texas. I don't want to be that person that looks back in life and thinks "if I wouldn't have married him so soon, or if I would've stayed I could've done so many things". Plus I want to graduate from the college And I also feel that I am too young to drop my life and get married. I want to make sure I'm the best version of me before I give myself to anyone... and him Being the great man that he is, understands that... but He told me that I have the option of marrying him and leaving but like I said I don't want to have regrets and I would like to finish my college career first. We plan on trying LDR but the thing is.. he most likely will not return to Texas. From My understanding he will Be leaving from Texas to Tennessee in decemeber and then in summer 2018 he will leave for deployment and return back to Tennessee and stay there for about a year and then get rebased again.I don't really want to move to another state as of right now but maybe later in the future once I graduate I might change my plans. We love eachother so much but we also are thinking about our future. Im lost and I don't know what direction to take. We love eachother so much but we believe this could be the end of everything. it's just very hard for both of us that our relationship is perfect except for the fact that we will be far from eachother . We are scared that one of us is going to get tired of the distance and move on. Which is what we believe will happen because that's life, and life hits us in ways we don't even want to imagine. I'm just stressing out everyday and crying all the time because December is only a Few months away and it hard to imagen him being gone . I've gone through deployment before and I was able to push threw it. The only difference that makes this situation hard is that when he got deployed I knew he wasn't coming back to Texas. But this time he's leaving Texas...and the likely hood of him getting sent to a base here again is slim..we just want us to work so bad but we are scared it won't. ... I just need a reality check and maybe some comforting words or someone who's been in my shoes or currently going through it . Anything helps. Thank you all
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    #2
    If this is causing you that much stress, I'd question whether it's worth it It's affecting your life everyday. That's not okay. DH and I were long distance when we started date. I certainly didn't spend every day stressing and crying. And I didn't really spend much time, "scared that one of us is going to get tired of the distance and move on. Which is what we believe will happen because that's life, " . I guess my relationship always felt stronger than that. I didn't worry. Sure, if you'd have asked me if there was a possibility we might break up someday I would have said yes, because that's a possibility in any relationship. If you are that fearful it's going to end, there's probably a reason for that fear.

    Your other thread was very similar and talked a lot about how you never want to move. it sounds like the two of you don't have compatible goals and dreams, and that's at least as important as being in love.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #3
    Isn't this like the exact same thing you posted not long ago?
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    #4
    Hey there! We are in the SAME exact position. My boyfriend and I have been together for one year. In just 5 days, heíll be leaving for 6 months of training and then starting active duty right after. (We donít know his duty station yet). BUT! I am a full-time student as well. Iím 22 years old and only halfway finished with college. I need to receive my masters degree in order to obtain the career I want. My boyfriend has said multiple times he wants me to come, but he respects my drive for school and the fact that I have my own goals and dreams that need to be accomplished. So im not going with him anywhere, although I wish with all of my heart that I could. Heíll be active for four years, so Iíll be waiting THAT long! Crazy, but worth it.
    But OUR dreams/goals are just as important as our boyfriendsí Military careers. We shouldnít have to put our lives on a long pause because of them. You said he understands, which is awesome! School is soooo important. I donít think you having upsetting doubts about the distance is bad.. Iím a psychology major. Im able to recognize the fact that, YES, people change. Their beliefs change, their personality changes, their feelings change! No relationship is 100% certain. No matter how strong or confident you are in the relationship. Its never certain to work out. Donít feel bad for having those anxious thoughts about him being sick of the distance.
    Iím extremely confident in my relationship!! but sometimes its scary for me to think that we will be growing as people but we wont physically be together. Everybody changes. Its impossible to avoid. We just have to hope they wont change in a way that causes them to not want to be long distant anymore.
    Iím anxious for being in a LDR with my boyfriend. But we are doing it anyway! I need to finish my dreams, while he goes out and finishes his dreams. I donít want to move around. My goals/education are important too. And thatís okay!
    Do what you feel is right. You seem to really love this guy. I wouldnít break up just because of fear. That usually leads to feeling regretful in the future. Never base decisions off of temporary emotionsóbase them off of pure rational thoughts.
    If you think you can handle the long distance- then do it! Try! You donít wanna regret not trying in the future.
    But, If you think that the lifestyle isnít for you, like a lot of people, then that is okay too.
    There is no right or wrong. Its all about you and your happiness and what YOU think is best for YOURSELF.
    I know way too many young girls who didnít go to school because they had to go and follow their boyfriends across the country, and then they ended up hating their lives and breaking up!!! People like us have certain important goals in mind that need to be finished. we can't just follow them, no matter how badly we want to be with them.
    Im kind of babbling but its only because I know exactly how you are feeling and what youre going through. Message me so we can talk! (:
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Carolina View Post
    Isn't this like the exact same thing you posted not long ago?
    what she said

    you got some good advice in your previous thread.

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