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Thread: My future sailor is headed to boot camp and I think he wants to break up

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    #1

    My future sailor is headed to boot camp and I think he wants to break up

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    Hi everyone!
    This is my first post so I'm not really sure how it should go. But recently I was having a conversation with my boyfriend of almost 9 months that took a turn for the worst. For our whole relationship we have been planning to stay together through boot camp and the distance that will separate us. Recently, he opened up and told me that he doesn't think he can do long distance and he thinks we need to break it off before he leaves at the end of next month. My brother is a Marine, so I've already had to deal with a boot camp. I know a sibling is not the same as a significant other, but I really do believe that we can make it work if we really put our minds to it. I feel like he is letting everyone else get into his head instead of listening to how he truly feels. He is coming over later tonight after he gets off work so we can continue to talk about this. I'm so lost and I just need some advice on if anyone else has gone through this, or how we can make long distance work if we do end up staying together.
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    #2
    Correction on the last post. "For our whole relationship we have been planning to stay together through boot camp and the distance will NOT separate us." Sorry about that!
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by jnmccurdyy View Post
    Hi everyone!
    This is my first post so I'm not really sure how it should go. But recently I was having a conversation with my boyfriend of almost 9 months that took a turn for the worst. For our whole relationship we have been planning to stay together through boot camp and the distance that will separate us. Recently, he opened up and told me that he doesn't think he can do long distance and he thinks we need to break it off before he leaves at the end of next month. My brother is a Marine, so I've already had to deal with a boot camp. I know a sibling is not the same as a significant other, but I really do believe that we can make it work if we really put our minds to it. I feel like he is letting everyone else get into his head instead of listening to how he truly feels. He is coming over later tonight after he gets off work so we can continue to talk about this. I'm so lost and I just need some advice on if anyone else has gone through this, or how we can make long distance work if we do end up staying together.
    Despite what you believe, perhaps he feels like the need to break up is necessary. It may or may not even be military related; it could be an easy excuse. If he's going to end your relationship let him leave. It may hurt and take time to get over, but you'll eventually move on to someone who is willing to go through hurdles with you.
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    #4
    Even though you're fine with the distance it's not going to change the fact that he isn't. You should still talk about it tonight, but I would go in prepared for the worst. Honestly I would probably walk away from this relationship. I'd rather be with someone who wants to be with me no matter how hard things get.
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    #5
    The reasons don't matter. At the heart of it is this: this man choose to let you go. He looked at his life and for whatever reason--even people telling him whatever--he looked at a life with you and a life without you, and he chose the one without you.

    Don't you want to be with someone who doesn't give up on you when times are hard? Who believes in you and your relationship enough that people jawing in his ear have no effect? Who sees you as necessary rather than optional?
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #6
    I know this is a hard pill to swallow, but you shouldn't want to be with someone who even questions whether or not they want to be with you. If he is concerned about the long distance during bootcamp then you both will have a LONG road ahead of you considering military relationships face a lot of long distance. Still have the conversation with him, of course, but I would really ask yourself if you are okay with fighting to stay with someone who is not fighting to stay with you.
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    #7
    yeah marinemainsqueez said it, there is no point if its just one way, if the other person in not feeling it then its better to be on your own that is just the way it is. having said that do not let go of him just like that, talk to him try to figure out how much he loves you if he still wants to break up THEN you let him go

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