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Thread: Does it get easier?

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Does it get easier?

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    Wow so I'm in a new relationship and he only just went out to the field for 30 days. I already miss him so much and I know it's going to be a lot harder when he gets deployed. I just need to know, is there ever a point where long distance gets easier? Please be honest.
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    #2
    Mostly yeah but then there are different challenges. I don't really have that much of a problem keeping myself occupied, I'm not gonna wallow around more than a few days. But like I said in another post recently, at a certain point it doesn't really feel real anymore. Last year we were apart for more than seven months and went like 4-5 months without a visit and by that point it all felt very abstract to me even though we talked every day. Like I'm committed but it's hard for me to stay interested because I'm so bored

    It's also hard for me to not be a grinch when other people are happy but it does get easier in the sense that it's not all sad all the time.
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    #3
    It's gotten easier for us. My husband is currently on his fourth full-length deployment and it's no big deal. Of course we all miss him, but we aren't obsessing over him being gone. The kids are busy, I am busy, he is busy... it is just the life we have. I think at the moment our biggest deployment issue is that I can't remember how to change the aircon filter and I can't get in touch with him to ask.
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    #4
    The time passes quicker once you get in a routine!
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    #5
    DB and I have been in a long distance relationship for almost 10 months now - the entirety of our relationship. I think it's actually easier starting out LD because we've never known anything different so there aren't any adjustments to be made, the relationship just grows around it. Granted, there are times - usually right after we've seen each other for me - that are pretty miserable because we've gotten a taste of normal and I would do almost anything to make that happen full time. For me, the routine we have going on is helpful. I graduated last semester and am nannying until my teaching credential program starts in June so my days are very free (boring). I know that DB is going to call me when he gets back to the barracks after PT and text me at lunch and after work. For us, maintaining good and frequent communication is very important. The most difficult part for me isn't not seeing him, it's when he's in the field or doing something where we have no or limited communication. I have anxiety and not being able to know that he's okay makes me very anxious - plus my mind can concoct some truly horrible scenarios when I know he's jumping out of planes and working with explosives. He leaves for JRTC in a month and I'm really not looking forward to that.

    So to answer your question, yes long distance does get easier, for me at least. After a week or two it's just back to normal. However, based on your post it seems like you are in a relationship that is only long distance during trainings or deployments (correct me if I'm wrong), in which case it will be difficult to establish a routine and consistent communication. You will still get used to it and learn how to handle the distance but it will be different than just a general LDR.
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    #6
    The first few days always suck but it does get easier.
  7. d12
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    #7
    It gets easier. The first few days always suck for me, but after that it's normal.

    DB and I have been in a LDR for 2 years now.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by d12 View Post
    It gets easier. The first few days always suck for me, but after that it's normal.

    DB and I have been in a LDR for 2 years now.
    Do you have any tips to help about distance? We've known each other four years and have been dating about 6 months and its going great. His first deployment will happen soon and ive heard the first one is the true test of a relationship. I would love any advice you have on how you have made it through two years. Thanks(:
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    #9
    SO and I spent a year apart a few years ago and we are apart now, last 3 months... and yes it gets easier. The first few days are hard, but once you get into a routine and keep yourself busy it does get easier. I find it easier when you can talk to him daily too.
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    #10

    Honesty

    i am not sure if it gets easier or if we just end up becoming numb to it. That or we just end up get stronger through it all. or both who knows. i dont think being with out the one you love is ever easy. no matter what the situation. I do however believe that our numbness and ability to deal with it grows and changes the way we can tolerate the struggle to where it makes it seem as though the same situation is not as hard to deal.

    IDK if that helps. Im sorry.

    my DS has been gone since last July and it has not gotten easy for me.
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