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Thread: Do i listen to my heart or my brain? help

  1. Fresh Newbie
    Alexashdez's Avatar
    Alexashdez is offline
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    Apr 2017

    Do i listen to my heart or my brain? help

    Hello everyone!
    i am newbie to this site, but i am so excited to be apart of this community!

    update: listening to my brain. thanks everyone
    Last edited by Alexashdez; 04-14-2017 at 10:47 PM.
  2. Senior Member
    CDNTrish's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
    You most definitely do not go. Wait. Wait. Wait.
  3. Moderator
    TheSisterWife's Avatar
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    Jan 2010

    When my heart and my head disagree (which is rare), I go with my head. Love is wonderful, but it doesn't put food on the table.
  4. Senior Member
    PaUSMC's Avatar
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    Mar 2016
    You recognize that you have a spontaneous personality and acknowledged that the smart thing to do is wait until next summer, I would wait. Your parents have your best interest at heart and the years of life experience to back it up. Some people might say to follow your heart, but I'm a believer in making smart and well thought out decisions (romantic I know). And he is deploying from Hawaii this year, correct? So you wouldn't be together physically in Hawaii for very long, it would just be you in a new place trying to figure things out without your parents support. I wouldn't look at the distance as being unbearable or something you will regret. You can always visit as well. Your young, this can be a great time to accomplish things as an individual and grow. Whether that be working or college or whatever your interests are. Welcome!
  5. MilitarySOS Jewel
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  6. " do Classical Gas"
    Matchbox's Avatar
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    Feb 2017

    He's deploying. Even if you went to Hawaii, he wouldn't be there with you...and frankly, when he goes, you'll find it a lot easier to cope with an existing support network (your friends, your family) already around you. Running to Hawaii to be with him, him leaving and you being stuck in Hawaii by yourself for months when you don't know anyone sounds like a terrible idea.

    Wait until he gets back and start your lives together properly.
  7. Senior Member
    villanelle's Avatar
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    Aug 2009
    In what world is it good for your heart to give your parents pain and fear and concern and disappointment? In what way does it seem right to either your heart or your brain to start off your married life with a huge rift between your parent and your SO (and yourself). You are setting yourself up for a life time of tension between the man you love and your family. In what way will it be good for your heart to be stuck alone in Hawaii with no friends or loved ones? (And if the driving factor of this is that you miss him, you won't miss him any less just because you have a ring. You'll still be apart.)

    If you take a deep breath, you should be able to see that it's better for both your head and your heart to wait.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  8. Regular Member
    Figgychick's Avatar
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    Sep 2016
    Ft. Bragg
    Your parents are not trying to be mean or against I'm sure of it. They have so much more life experience that they are trying to make you make a smart and thought out decision. If the distance is "unbearable" getting married won't fix it. Yes you can move and live with your SO, but what about when he's gone in the field for a few weeks at a time? Or when he's deployed for 6+ months?

    I'm speaking to you from experience, I love my husband dearly, but it would have been sooooo much smarter if we would have waited longer to get married. If you can't handle this distance now, being married won't make it any easier, I promise you that. You need to think logically, not with your emotions. I know being a young girl, that is difficult to do at times, but it's for the best.

    There is a very legit reason your parents didn't give their blessing, I say respect their wishes and see how things go with your SO and being apart. By no means do I have everything figured out, but I highly suggest you take PPs opinion, and WAIT.

    Also, like others said, the last thing you will want is to be in a new place completely on your own once he's deployed. Although it may be exciting and beautiful, not having a support system nearby will be very hard especially with all the emotions you'll be dealing with while your SO is being deployed and after he is actually gone.
  9. Old Newbie
    greatgabsby's Avatar
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    Aug 2016
    Los Angeles
    Wait, the distance is only temporary. As people previously stated, when he leaves for deployment you will want your family there for you and they only have your best interest at heart. I'm sure you can visit him, and there's always facetime that make the distance a little more bearable.
  10. Senior Member
    Heisenberg's Avatar
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    May 2011
    South Florida
    The right choice is absolutely to wait. You're young, if it works out later on you're not going to regret waiting an extra year. If it doesn't work out you're definitely going to regret making a stupid spontaneous decision that everyone warned you against. I got married and moved to Hawaii against my better judgment and let me tell you, it's not fun to tell everyone who told you not to get married that you're getting divorced.
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