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Thread: Just Left and Having a Hard Time

  1. Fresh Newbie
    mcosgrove's Avatar
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    #1

    Just Left and Having a Hard Time

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    Hey y'all,

    I am new to this website, and DB just left for South Korea to be stationed there for a year. Going through the months of boot and training were difficult but got easier as time went on. I am pretty good at setting my time towards some other things to keep my mind preoccupied, but as soon as I think of him it always just goes back to missing him and wanting to cry. I am known as a tough girl, so I do not like to show too many of my emotions. I know that as soon as my boyfriend comes back from the year being away he and I are going to get engaged then married come the next 8 months. So, that's somewhat what is getting me through because I am ready to get married, I just want to finish college first.

    I guess my main point is, what can I do to keep myself busy other than college and another organization? Since it is a 13 hour time difference I only do talk to him whenever he can talk, but sometimes it's just really hard.

    Also, is there any advice on how to work through the hard parts of being stationed half way across the country?

    Thank you for any words of advice!
    Marissa
  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    First of all - Welcome!

    Distance is so difficult but doable. Let me say that being sad, crying and missing him are all normal emotions that you need to allow yourself to feel. Feel them, do them but then it's time to push through and start YOUR journey.

    If you look at a deployment as a time for self discovery you might look at this time apart differently. Sounds like you are already busy with school and your other organization... but have you thought of challenging yourself in another manner? What about a gym membership, an art class or learn to play a new instrument? Use this time apart on yourself - use this time to grow stronger.. mind, body and soul!

    If possible schedule "dates" for communication with your DB. That way you won't be carrying around your phone wondering when and if he's going to call! To stay connected as a couple try the following: reading the same book, watching a movie, Netflix series, playing online games etc. Being creative certainly does help with distance.

    Writing in a journal is a great way for you to keep from "over-communicating". Have a thought... write it down!

    Sounds like you have some exciting things happening in your future ... Lots to look forward to!
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #3
    Do you have any hobbies? Find something fun to do for YOU Scrapbooking, knitting, crocheting, tennis, book club, whatever, just find something for you to do that that you really enjoy and makes you happy. It'll help a lot, and if it's something you can do on your own, it'll be there whenever you need something to keep your mind off of things.

    Don't be too hard on yourself for being upset, it's hard. Long distance sucks. Let yourself be upset, let yourself cry, but then set it aside and move on. Don't let yourself get into a funk.

    It sounds like you have a lot going on with school and stuff, so focus on that and find some things to do to take out time for you and time will fly

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  4. The name says it all!
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by JennyJennJenn View Post
    Do you have any hobbies? Find something fun to do for YOU Scrapbooking, knitting, crocheting, tennis, book club, whatever, just find something for you to do that that you really enjoy and makes you happy. It'll help a lot, and if it's something you can do on your own, it'll be there whenever you need something to keep your mind off of things.

    Don't be too hard on yourself for being upset, it's hard. Long distance sucks. Let yourself be upset, let yourself cry, but then set it aside and move on. Don't let yourself get into a funk.

    It sounds like you have a lot going on with school and stuff, so focus on that and find some things to do to take out time for you and time will fly
    Welcome to the forum!

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




  5. Regular Member
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    #5
    Hi!

    My DB recently got back from his first deployment since we have been a couple. And it will get easier! I hated that when people used to say it to me but it is so true.
    My advice is to hold on tight to any friends or family you have near you. The support will help even if they do not really understand what you're going through. That's what I did. Any time I was feeling particularly down I would just contact someone and try to spend time with them to get my mind off of my boyfriend not being there.

    Hope this helps!
  6. Fresh Newbie
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    #6
    Great advice.. I'm glad I found this forum

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