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Thread: Complicated Circumstances

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    Complicated Circumstances

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    I'm posting here because quite frankly I have no other frame of reference or outlet. In comparison to the other, more "official" significant others here on this site, I feel as though I haven't even quite earned the title "significant other" quite yet; after all, that's the reason for my frustration/need for advice in the first place. I'll explain.

    So about 3 months ago, I visited my cousin in North Carolina for his graduation from MCT, and while I was there, I met another marine. For anonymity's sake, let's just say his name is Michael. Michael ended up being my cousin's "base buddy", meaning that for the whole weekend while we were visiting, Michael was always there with us. Our families spent the entire weekend together, and during that time Michael and I spent quite a bit of time together as well, since my cousin had his girlfriend visiting, meaning the four of us inevitably spent the most time together. Michael and I hit it off instantly, and so by the time the weekend had ended and we went our separate ways - Michael to his MOS. Not really expecting much to come from it, I gave him my number, which was a rare moment of spontaneity for me, but I figured, what could it hurt?

    Of course, Michael ended up contacting me, and fast forward 3 months later, we've come to form quite the intimate bond. At first it started out with no expectations, we were friends just getting to know each other. After a while however, it soon became routine to Skype every night until one of us fell asleep and we'd keep in contact via text whenever he had any free time. I got to know all his marine buddies and he got to know my family and friends. I've never been one to open up to anyone so easily, but with him it's so easy. It's crazy to think I've only known him for 3 months, because sometimes it feels like a lifetime of knowing him.

    Here's the thing though, I'm a very practical person, and I don't get into relationships without looking at it from every angle. The simple truth is, I like him, a lot, more than I've ever allowed myself to fall for another person before. I could go on and on for all the reasons, but that would just be redundant. But as I said, I think with my head rather than my heart most often than not, and we've had conversations about this. He's in his MOS training for another 5 months while I'm a full-time college student 3,000 miles away. The circumstances are so difficult, because as much as we want to be together, physically there's so much distance. While I'm perfectly fine with just getting to know him more and more for the time being, I know we both want more, and the physical distance certainly complicates things.

    During Christmas break, he has a 2 week leave home (which by the way is still about 1,500 miles from me still). He invited me to come visit, and as much as I want to visit - so much so I physically ache to - I'm not even quite sure if the logistics will work out, considering my own winter break for college doesn't fully coincide with his leave. I also don't know if I'm being completely foolish, to fly out and visit someone I've only spent two days with, but have come to know so intimately over the past few months. The thing is, my family (uncle and aunt, who are like second parents of mine) really meshed with his family during the graduation, and so I have the approval and they know we've been talking. It's just difficult.

    I suppose I just needed to get this off my chest and hope that perhaps someone has a similar experience. I'm the type of person who believes that there's a great big intricate plan out there, and for me it seems, timing always works out. So for whatever reason, I believe I met Michael for a reason, it's just a matter of figuring out what that reason may be.

    Thank you for any input, it is very much appreciated!

    UPDATE: Thank you everyone for the much needed advice! I'm very happy to report that I will indeed be visiting over Christmas break and can't be more thrilled. I think I just needed to hear from people with similar experiences that I wasn't being naive and that this would be the best decision. It can be difficult, because friends don't always understand what it's like to have feelings for someone so far away who also happens to be in the military. But needless to say, I think this decision has helped to deepen our relationship even more, we've had some great conversations since I last posted, and I definitely believe that following my heart for once is the best decision I could've made...thank you all sincerely!
    Last edited by time7keeper21; 10-17-2016 at 12:24 PM.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by time7keeper21 View Post
    I'm posting here because quite frankly I have no other frame of reference or outlet. In comparison to the other, more "official" significant others here on this site, I feel as though I haven't even quite earned the title "significant other" quite yet; after all, that's the reason for my frustration/need for advice in the first place. I'll explain.

    So about 3 months ago, I visited my cousin in North Carolina for his graduation from MCT, and while I was there, I met another marine. For anonymity's sake, let's just say his name is Michael. Michael ended up being my cousin's "base buddy", meaning that for the whole weekend while we were visiting, Michael was always there with us. Our families spent the entire weekend together, and during that time Michael and I spent quite a bit of time together as well, since my cousin had his girlfriend visiting, meaning the four of us inevitably spent the most time together. Michael and I hit it off instantly, and so by the time the weekend had ended and we went our separate ways - Michael to his MOS. Not really expecting much to come from it, I gave him my number, which was a rare moment of spontaneity for me, but I figured, what could it hurt?

    Of course, Michael ended up contacting me, and fast forward 3 months later, we've come to form quite the intimate bond. At first it started out with no expectations, we were friends just getting to know each other. After a while however, it soon became routine to Skype every night until one of us fell asleep and we'd keep in contact via text whenever he had any free time. I got to know all his marine buddies and he got to know my family and friends. I've never been one to open up to anyone so easily, but with him it's so easy. It's crazy to think I've only known him for 3 months, because sometimes it feels like a lifetime of knowing him.

    Here's the thing though, I'm a very practical person, and I don't get into relationships without looking at it from every angle. The simple truth is, I like him, a lot, more than I've ever allowed myself to fall for another person before. I could go on and on for all the reasons, but that would just be redundant. But as I said, I think with my head rather than my heart most often than not, and we've had conversations about this. He's in his MOS training for another 5 months while I'm a full-time college student 3,000 miles away. The circumstances are so difficult, because as much as we want to be together, physically there's so much distance. While I'm perfectly fine with just getting to know him more and more for the time being, I know we both want more, and the physical distance certainly complicates things.

    During Christmas break, he has a 2 week leave home (which by the way is still about 1,500 miles from me still). He invited me to come visit, and as much as I want to visit - so much so I physically ache to - I'm not even quite sure if the logistics will work out, considering my own winter break for college doesn't fully coincide with his leave. I also don't know if I'm being completely foolish, to fly out and visit someone I've only spent two days with, but have come to know so intimately over the past few months. The thing is, my family (uncle and aunt, who are like second parents of mine) really meshed with his family during the graduation, and so I have the approval and they know we've been talking. It's just difficult.

    I suppose I just needed to get this off my chest and hope that perhaps someone has a similar experience. I'm the type of person who believes that there's a great big intricate plan out there, and for me it seems, timing always works out. So for whatever reason, I believe I met Michael for a reason, it's just a matter of figuring out what that reason may be.

    Thank you for any input, it is very much appreciated!


    So you met a Marine, he's at MOS School, you're not official yet but you really like him. Were you wondering if we think you should fly out to visit him over Christmas?




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    Precisely, I don't want to be naive and jumping the gun. But also, I'll be incredibly disappointed if it doesn't work out and I can't visit.
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    #4
    Could you just visit during the time that aligns with your college break? Could he visit you for a bit instead?
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    With my college break, it leaves about 5 days which I could theoretically visit, and I would be the one visiting him because I realize he only has 2 weeks home with his family, and there's no way that I would ever consider have him come to me, taking time away with them. Plus, I've met his family during the graduation weekend, and they're very warm people, so that wouldn't be awkward at all. If the Christmas thing doesn't work out, the next time we'd be able to get together would be summer. I'm already planning a visit with my cousin to visit him, so that's comforting at least, but waiting till then seems like a rather torturous limbo... I would love to make things official with him, but I feel like that making things official without any visits or anything would be jumping the gun. There's just really no "right" way to handle it, the circumstance is a bit strange.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by time7keeper21 View Post
    With my college break, it leaves about 5 days which I could theoretically visit, and I would be the one visiting him because I realize he only has 2 weeks home with his family, and there's no way that I would ever consider have him come to me, taking time away with them. Plus, I've met his family during the graduation weekend, and they're very warm people, so that wouldn't be awkward at all. If the Christmas thing doesn't work out, the next time we'd be able to get together would be summer. I'm already planning a visit with my cousin to visit him, so that's comforting at least, but waiting till then seems like a rather torturous limbo... I would love to make things official with him, but I feel like that making things official without any visits or anything would be jumping the gun. There's just really no "right" way to handle it, the circumstance is a bit strange.
    Go for the five days then! That's what I'd do anyway.
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    #7
    You have nothing to lose but potentially a lot to gain. Distance is doable when both parties are willing. I would go!
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    #8


    I would just go for the 5 days. You aren't marrying him, you are visiting someone you have grown to enjoy and like. Sometimes you gotta just follow your heart in life.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by time7keeper21 View Post
    With my college break, it leaves about 5 days which I could theoretically visit, and I would be the one visiting him because I realize he only has 2 weeks home with his family, and there's no way that I would ever consider have him come to me, taking time away with them. Plus, I've met his family during the graduation weekend, and they're very warm people, so that wouldn't be awkward at all. If the Christmas thing doesn't work out, the next time we'd be able to get together would be summer. I'm already planning a visit with my cousin to visit him, so that's comforting at least, but waiting till then seems like a rather torturous limbo... I would love to make things official with him, but I feel like that making things official without any visits or anything would be jumping the gun. There's just really no "right" way to handle it, the circumstance is a bit strange.
    Agreed with everyone else, go. You have nothing to lose.
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    #10
    Stop over thinking it, make your reservations and go! You both enjoy each other's company, you are connecting on all kinds of levels - GO!

    Sometimes, we have to believe in fate as cheesy as that sounds. Perhaps there was a reason you met "Michael"?

    GO!!!!
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